Heroes
by sosinsastark
Summary: Bilbo's writing a story. Can you believe that? I had told him I was going to write one, and then he went ahead and beat me to it. What an asshole. I bet his story starts off real serenely, and then promptly shows me being a mad-woman. And to be honest, that wouldn't be too far off from the truth. Kili/OC
1. Segment Zero

_**This chapter is the summary and some good background information to have about why I'm writing it, and such. Just covering what I think might be some FAQs**_  
 _ **This is a story about a girl, Malia Reed, falling into the hobbit world. Don't even get me started on how overdone it is, I know it is. But I love it anyways.**_  
 _ **I haven't read many of these though, because I don't like how the OCs have little practical skill, or freak out over not bathing. I wanted someone who fits better in Middle-Earth, and feels as though she's finally coming home. She has a very basic idea of the Hobbits movies, but otherwise, is perfectly clueless.**_  
 _ **The Name: I chose it based off of Malia Tate in Teen Wolf. The name Malia means, 'Rough Waters' or something of that caliber, which suits my character perfectly. She's strong, brave, and sometimes, an utter idiot.**_

 _ **Without further ado, here is the summary. While the whole story has technically been written, I'm working on making it longer. And editing it. But this story is my child and I love it and if you do not, that's fine, you're free to go. Have a nice day.**_

* * *

My journey began on October 31st, on my 23rd birthday. At that point in time, I was living with my dad. A man whom I had thought was the most painfully boring person in the world.

My father, Rickon Reed was very much a "One foot in a pair of pants first." You know, the careful, tactical sort.

Let me tell you, he did not deserve a name like Rickon. If anything, he deserved what all his friends called him, _Rick, Ricky, Richard._

I was nearly the opposite. My middle name should've been anxiety-inducing, because most of my childhood I nearly gave my dad a heart attack.

My mother Mira, on the other hand was a lot like me. Always wanting an adventure, always ready to teach me something that was debatably unorthodox. Like archery to a five year old.

Anyways, that day; my 23rd birthday, I had been furious at my dad.

It was nearly 10th year anniversary of my mother's disappearance, and he still refused to mourn for her. I mean, by now, everyone assumed she was dead. Who disappears for that long, without any leads to whereabouts?

"She'll be back, I'm sure of it." He said dismissively as he scooped out a pumpkin with his bare hands.

Which was just about the most edgy thing he had done in years.

My father had driven me insane as he insisted she would somehow come back. He never said why he thought she would. He just thought she would.

Don't even get me started on the weird hushed talks my family would have about my father. Something had happened before I was born, and they had nearly forsaken him.

Instead my dad let me wonder where my mother could've gone, and why. Why would she have left without a word? Why were there so many dumb secrets in this family?

I had stormed out on him, running out into the yard barefooted. I had a bad habit of foregoing shoes, and he always scolded me about it. I hadn't even grabbed my phone, or anything.

I continued on, into the forest.

When I was younger, my mother had always taken me to the forest on my birthday. We'd pretend we were in a different world, and she'd always point of a very peculiar tree. It was a special tree, a magical tree, she had told me.

I wasn't supposed to go near it. The tree that could change my world.

But that day, I did anyways. Being leant up near that tree made me feel almost as though my mother was somehow still here.

How I had managed to fall asleep was beyond me, but it was the waking that changed my world. Literally.


	2. Segment One

I woke up to the sound of heavy footsteps, and crickets. A cool breeze blew my hair, tickling my nose.

I nearly fell off of the bench I was apparently on, and my eyes shot open as I looked down at the bench in shock. I gave the bench a good smack with my hand, disbelieving it's existence.

I hadn't fallen asleep on a bench, so why the hell was I on one now?

"Dad?" I called out uncertainly, looking up and looking around.

In front of me was a gated fence, and there was a house behind me that appeared to have been built into the ground. My mind went to something my mom had said years ago;

'When I was little, I lived in a house built underneath a hill! Can you believe that, Malia?'

The answer of course had been, 'No, what are you talking about.'

I turned slightly on the bench, to get a better look at the house. It was dimly lit inside, and smoke bellowed out of the chimney. Seeing it felt strangely enough like home.

A foreign feeling to me, ever since my mother had left.

"What on," I began.

I stopped speaking the second I heard a creaking noise. I had forgotten about the footsteps I had heard.

My head snapped towards the noise, and I watched as a slightly large, balding man opened the gate in front of me. He had old tattoos on his balding head, and looked fierce.

And that's when I started to freak.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked while bringing my feet up onto the bench as I tried to make myself as small as possible. Or maybe even jump and run. I hadn't decided, really.

"Dwalin, at your service." He said briskly, looking me up and down.

I couldn't help but follow his gaze for a moment. Nothing about my attire matched his, not in the slightest.

He was wearing a brown cloak, and what appeared to be leather chest plate and trousers. He looked fierce, and his boots looked worn.

I, on the other hand, was wearing two pairs of leggings, and a baseball jersey style teeshirt with a few bright fishes on it, from the swim school that I worked at. And was shoeless, which although was typical of me, seemed very far-fetched now.

"Dewallin? What?" I asked, my voice still raised in fear.

Dwalin had an intense gaze underneath his heavy brows, and it made me nervous.

"Where am I? Who are you? Where's my dad?" I asked.

Dwalin raised a heavy brow at me, and then seemed to grow tired of my yells. I couldn't blame him, considering the next thing out of my mouth was:

"Was I drugged? Are you on drugs?" I pointed at him. "Is this a drug deal gone wrong?"

Dwalin let out a loud sigh, before he quickly grabbed my arm and yanked me onto my feet.

"Hey! Let go!" I yelled, trying my hardest to get out of his grip as he continued towards the round door of the house.

I tried stomping my feet, hitting his hand. Hell, I was close to biting him when he rang the doorbell.

The round door had a glowing rune etched into it, and he pointed at it and laughed.

"Where's whoever that takes care of you, Lassie? Are they in here?" Dwalin asked briskly.

"I can take care of myself." I hissed back, digging my nails into his hand.

He let out a cackle of disbelief.

Bad move on his part, really. Without even thinking about the consequences, I stopped fighting to get away from him, and lunged towards him. I bit the arm that held me, and he let go as he let out a shout.

The door slowly opened, and I can only imagine what it must've looked like for the homeowner.

Dwalin seemed at a loss for words as he looked down from his bleeding arm to me.

I watched the home owner as he stared at us nervously, starting to tie his robe closed. The man clearly hadn't expected company, and didn't understand what had happened before he had opened the door.

Same, honestly.

"Dwalin, at your service." Dwalin said as he looked away from me. He then bowed to the man.

I groaned. Not this 'at your service' stuff again.

"Hmmm," Bilbo stared from me to Dwalin. "Bilbo Baggins at yours."

"Help me." I said to Bilbo, not even waiting for him to invite me inside. I merely jumped towards him.

I turned after I had gotten through the door and away from Dwalin. I looked at Dwalin as he stepped into the house as well.

"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Bilbo asked, his eyes trained on Dwalin.

"No." Dwalin said, looking at Bilbo with an annoyed frown before walking down the hallway past both of us.

Thankfully we had all moved on past the biting incident.

"Do you have a phone?" I asked as I turned and looked at Bilbo, watching out of the corner of my eye as Dwalin took his cloak off and tossed it onto a table.

"I'm sorry, a phone?" Bilbo asked, prying his eyes away from Dwalin to look at me momentarily.

"Which way, Laddie? Is it down here?" Dwalin asked as he looked around.

"Is what down where?" Bilbo asked, trailing Dwalin.

He was much more concerned about Dwalin's appearance than my own.

Couldn't blame him, really. Dwalin looked like the kind of person who'd you leave in your house for a moment, and when you came back he'd be tearing apart the furniture.

"Phone, please." I said, poking Bilbo's shoulder gently as I followed him through the study.

"I'm sorry I don't know what a phone is." Bilbo snapped at me, giving me a weary before looking back at Dwalin.

"He said there'd be food, and lot's of it." Dwalin kept talking.

"What do you mean you don't have a phone?" I asked as I followed Bilbo who was following Dwalin around the house.

I started looking around for any electricity of any kind. I found nothing. Weird.

"Where are we?" I asked Bilbo as we made our way into the kitchen.

"This is Bag-End." Bilbo said, frowning as he watched Dwalin sit down and start eating his food.

"Is that in Scotland?" I asked, my head tilting in confusion as I watched Bilbo.

"No, the Shire. Where is Scotland?" Bilbo asked, taking his eyes off of Dwalin for a moment to tilt his head back at me.

And that was the precise moment when emotionally speaking, shit hit the fan.

The Shire, also known as the imaginary place my best friend Crystal had wanted to live in until she was in 8th grade. (Hell, I think Crystal still wanted to live in the shire, just didn't openly mention it.)The Shire, a place from a freaking book series.

Dwalin continued eating Bilbo's food whilst I started to legit freak out. It's definitely not one of my finer moments, I must admit.

I had started off by merely pounding my hands on the table, trying to think.

How could I be here, and how could here even exist? It was a book!

"This can not be happening." I hissed to myself, running into Bilbo's study.

"I'm dreaming." I insisted as I looked around the small room.

The thing about dreams, from what I knew, was that you couldn't read. So I tried looking around, but when I held a book up and could read it clearly, I merely dropped it angrily and looked at the wall, growing more determined to prove I was in a dream.

I hit my head against the wall. The pain radiating from my forehead was a painful reminder that I was not dreaming.

It was at that moment that I screamed, right as the doorbell rang again.

Bilbo rushed past me to answer the door, flashing me a worrisome look that shut me up quite effectively.

I had nearly started screaming again when I felt Dwalin's hand against my shoulder.

"What are you," I tried to form a sentence that would accurately explain to him how much he both freaked me out, and alternatively, pissed me off. "Why?" Was all I could muster.

Dwalin took his hand off of my shoulder, and went to the fireplace mantel where Bilbo had a cookie jar placed.

"So, what's your name, Lassie?" Dwalin asked casually, sticking his hand into the jar.

"I'm not a dog," I started, only to hear laughter coming from the doorway.

I turned, and noticed yet another dwarf, this one with white hair.

"Evening brother." The white haired dwarf said to Dwalin, ignoring my existence.

I took a step away from Dwalin, watching both of the dwarves wearily.

"By my beard, you're shorter and wider than last we met." Dwalin said, putting the cookie jar down and focusing on the newcomer.

"Wider, not shorter." The man agreed. "Sharp enough for both of us." They both laughed and smiled.

Then they head butted each other.

I slowly backed even farther away from the two of them, slightly worried they'd hurt me.

"And who's that one?" I whispered to Bilbo as he walked into the room.

"Balin." Bilbo said, looking at both dwarves then back at me. "I'm sorry, do I know you? You're a hobbit, yes?"

"Ummm…" I mumbled, looking down from his feet to mine. I certainly had the feet for it, although mine were a lot less hairy than his. "I think so. I'm Malia." I paused for a moment. "Malia. My mother's name was Mirabella…" My heart sunk.

I clearly was an idiot. How did I not notice the similarity between my mother's maiden name and the freaking book? I mean besides the blatant fact that even if I had noticed, I never would've assumed there was a connection.

"Took." I grumbled, looking into the fire before back at Bilbo.

Recognition flashed in Bilbos eyes, before he nodded. "Right, of course. Mirabella's daughter." He smiled at me. "That makes you my cousin."

"What?" I asked him, but Bilbo ignored this.

The two Dwarves in front of us began laughing again, and Bilbo looked back at them, still more concerned about them. Still didn't blame him.

"Uhm, excuse me, sorry. But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house." Bilbo said.

The two Dwarves merely ignored his words, and went into the kitchen together.

Bilbo looked at me exasperatedly, and I shrugged.

"Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm here. I'm terribly lost. But you know." I paused, wondering what to say. "I doubt they are going to leave."

Bilbo exhaled angrily before storming into the kitchen. "It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next hobbit."

I stifled at snort at his words. If I was truly a hobbit, then let me tell you, 'as much as the next hobbit' would mean he didn't want visitors in the slightest.

Bilbo paused in the doorway to look at me, and I shrugged as I took a seat near the fire.

He sighed, and I heard him continue into the kitchen.

I could hear him say from the other room, "But I do like to know them before they come visiting."

My mind was wound up tighter than a spring. I mean, if this is real, which at this point I hadn't confirmed, that meant I was related to Bilbo freaking Baggins.

"Okay so." I mumbled to myself. "I'm in the shire, somewhere that shouldn't exist."

The anxiety in the pit of my stomach grew.

"I don't have a phone, or even shoes." I let out a deep breath. "I'm debatably scandalously dressed, and apparently I am a hobbit, or something."

Just as my heartbeat began quickening at the idea of me no longer being anywhere familiar, that's when the doorbell rang again.

I let out a strangled breath, thinking about my dad, and Crystal. What if I never saw them again? Oh god. Oh god, oh god.

"Theoretically speaking, I'm not supposed to be here." I whispered, looking up and watching as Bilbo stormed to the door.

"Butterfly effect, oh god. I've messed it all up." I was near pulling my hair out. "Whatever it all even is."

I had no way of knowing whether or not I was actually changing events. I had "watched" the movies, and had claimed to have read the books.

But I hadn't actually read them. Dumb move on my behalf, apparently. Once more, I may have been in love with Lord of the Rings, but I had played games on my phone for a lot of the Hobbit movies. Whoops doesn't even begin to cover what a mistake that was.

I slowly breathed in and out as I listened to the dwarves run about the house, and heard Bilbo's voice get louder.

"That's my mother's glory box!" Bilbo yelled. "Can you please _not_ do that?"

Apparently Bilbo was having just as rough of an evening as I was.

A few moment later the doorbell rang, again.

"Malia!" Bilbo yelled, and I jumped to my feet.

Bilbo motioned for me to come towards him, and I left the study and joined him in the hallway.

"Malia, please make sure they don't," Bilbo paused as he glared at the front door, "Go away and bother somebody else!" He yelled, before looking at me again.

"Stop them from ruining my house, please." Bilbo begged, motioning towards the hallway leading to the dining room.

I frowned, nervous.

I wanted to tell him that I might ruin everything. But as I watched Bilbo start storming to the door, I saw a lot of my mother's behavior in his. The mannerisms, the way he spoke.

So with one last deep breath, I nodded and traipsed farther into the hallway towards the dining room.

"There's far too many Dwarves in my dining room as it is!" Bilbo yelled, and I looked back down the hallway towards him, still walking forward.

"Sorry!" I said as the wind was nearly knocked out of me from someone colliding into me. I stumbled slightly.

I turned to look forward and saw two more Dwarves, these ones closer to my age. One with Brown hair, and the other with Blonde.

 _"If this is some clot-head's idea of a joke, I can only say it is in very poor taste!"_ Bilbo's voice rang through the hobbit-hole.

I had to look up slightly to look at the dwarf who had nearly knocked me over. He must've been one of the ones that had just come into the house, for I hadn't met him yet. And let me tell you, he was hot. Capital H-O-T, hot. Brown hair, shining eyes. Amused smile.

God, I had clearly lost it. Out of all the times to finally start acting like a female, it had to be after I had changed worlds.

"You're a strange looking lass, aren't you?" The blonde haired dwarf said as he walked farther up to us.

Now that was bold. A man with parts of his beard braided calling me the strange looking one.

"That's rude." I said to him, frowning. "I don't want to be here, but you guys are like five seconds away from making Bilbo have an aneurism. So you know, stop damaging his stuff or whatever it is that you're doing."

"She talks quite strange, too." The brunette said, a twinkle of amusement playing in his eyes.

Damn. Hot, and rude.

"Oh, I'm the strange talker?" I was growing slightly hostile, which only seemed to amuse the brothers even more.

I was about to rip them a new one, I swear. I was going to get up on my preverbal soap box, and let at it.

I had been about a second away from listing exactly why I shouldn't be there, couldn't be there, and didn't want to be there, when suddenly even more Dwarves came running down the hallway from the door.

"What?" I asked as a few Dwarves pushed past me.

I looked towards where they had come from, and my heart dropped when I saw a tall figure standing out above them.

It was Gandalf. I knew, without a doubt, it was Gandalf. And he looked straight at me, a twinkle in his eyes, and said;

"You must be Mirabella's daughter."

I had been stunned to silence.

But instead of confronting Gandalf about it, I took one more look at the dwarves in front of me, (Including the hot dwarf whose name I would later remember is Kili) and stormed out of the hallway, and into the study.

Where I promptly plopped myself down on the chair and tried not to scream.

Mirabella, better known as Mira, was my mother. Gandalf knew my mother. Holy hell. I couldn't decide if I was simply a complete and utter idiot to not have noticed the similarity, or merely sane.

"My dear lass," A dwarf said as he stopped when he noticed me, two tea cups and a tea pot on a tray in his arms. "Could I tempt you with some Chamomile?"

"Why?" I asked him, looking at him suspiciously.

"I quite like tea, and I was going to share a pot with Gandalf, but it would seem he would rather have some red wine." He said, sighing.

"I like tea too." I said nervously, nodding at him.

"Well," He smiled at me, placing the tray on the table next to me. "You're welcome to have some. Save me some if possible, I might be able to come back and have some myself." He gave me a friendly wink.

"Thank you." I said to him.

"What's your name, lass?" He asked.

"Malia." I said, reaching over and pouring myself a cup of tea.

"Dori, at your service." He said, bowing.

My eye twitched when he said he was at my service, but I tried to continue smiling at him as he nodded his head at me and then left the room.

I drank the chamomile tea, listening to the sounds of the Dwarves. They seemed to be having a great time, as far as I could tell.

And from I had seen of Bilbo, he was having the exact opposite of a good time. Actually, I think he felt as annoyed and out of place as I did. Except it was his own house that he was feeling out of place in.

At one point he came storming into the room, pretty much stomping his feet.

"I can't stand these blasted Dwarves!" He said, looking as though he was going to have a temper tantrum. "Malia, please help me."

My eyes grew, and I frowned. "How am I supposed to help you?"

He sighed, clearly fed up. "Just, please."

I rolled my eyes at him and got up, putting my tea cup back down on the tray.

I followed him out of the room and into the kitchen to look at the pantry.

"I have so many questions." I remarked, looking at the empty pantry. "For one, why do you have that much food?"

Bilbo glared at me, and from the other room I heard a dwarf (I'd later learn was Bofur) yell, "I knew you had it in you!"

"What are they doing?" I asked Bilbo, looking across the hallway to where some of them sat at a table.

"I haven't the slightest clue." Bilbo said, taking a deep breath in and bringing his hand to his face, and rubbing his eyes.

We stood there in silence for a few moments before Bilbo got another spark of energy and motioned for me to follow in into the kitchen.

As we went into the room, Bilbo grabbed a doily out of Nori's hands.

"Excuse me, that it a doily, not a dishcloth." Bilbo snapped.

"But it's full of holes." Bofur said.

"It's supposed to look like that, It's crochet." Bilbo remarked as he began daintily folding it.

"And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it." Bofur remarked.

"What?" I asked, staring apphrensively at Bofur.

"Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" Bilbo hissed as he stormed towards me, roughly setting the doily down on a shelf and yet again bringing his hand to his head.

"What?" I asked Bilbo, growing even more confused.

Man, I did not understand some of those many Middle-Earth words.

"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked, coming towards us.

"What's the matter?" Bilbo looked to Gandalf, bringing his hand down to motion with it. "I'm surrounded by Dwarves. What are they doing here?"

I followed Bilbo and Gandalf, stopping for a moment to watch as Nori and Bofur fought over some sausage links.

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them." Gandalf remarked.

"I don't want to get used to them!" Bilbo hissed, motioning for Gandalf and I to continue to follow him.

"Look at the state of my kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet." He motioned to the floor before storming ahead and pointing at the pantry. "They've pillaged the pantry." He continued storming down the hallway. "I won't even tell you what they've done to the bathroom, they've destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

"Excuse me." Ori said as he walked up to Bilbo, his plate in his hand. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here you go, Ori." Fili said as he walked up to Ori, snatching the plate from him. "Give it to me."

Fili then tossed the plate at Gandalf and I.

I ducked, while Gandalf moved to the side. I looked up to see Kili on the other side of me had caught the plate, and was proceeding to throw it into the kitchen.

I was about to lift my head up when another plate went whizzing by, and I looked from Fili to Kili incredulously.

Kili winked at me, which didn't make much sense to me. Like most of Middle-Earth.

"Take that back!" Bilbo said. "Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing pottery. It's over 100 years old!"

Kili and Fili were playing hacky-sack with 100 year old pottery.

Meanwhile, I could hear more noises coming from the dinning room, and I watched from my ducked position in the hallway as Bilbo went off to tell them off too.

 _"And can you not do that? You'll blunt them!"_

 _"Ooh. Do you head that, Lads?" I heard Bofur say. "He says we'll blunt the knives."_

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks." My head whipped back around to Kili, whom had bursted out in song.

"Smash the bottle and burn the corks." Fili continued, throwing another plate over my head to Kili.

 _"Chip the glasses and crack the plates,_  
 _That's what Bilbo Baggins hates,_  
 _Cut the cloth, tread on the fat,_  
 _Leave the bones on the bedroom mat,_  
 _Pour the milk on the pantry floor,_  
 _Splash the wine on every door…"_

"So my dear, do you have a name, or shall I simply call you Mira's daughter?" Gandalf asked, and I watched as an amused smile grew on his face as he watched me from the other side of the hallway.

"Malia." I yelled over the singing Dwarves.

 _"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl…"_

"Your father acted the very same way when he found himself here, too." Gandalf said.

 _"Pound them up in a thumping pole…"_

"Okay, I get it, you're a wizard." I was growing hostile. "This has happened before. Obviously."

 _"When you're finished, if they are whole…"_

It wasn't obvious, I was in a mood though. "But what do I do?"

 _"Send them down the hall to roll!"_

"What do you want to do, my dear Malia?" Gandalf asked.

I heard a wind-instrument solo begin in the background.

"I want to go home, obviously." I muttered, avoiding his eye contact.

Gandalf frowned. "The strange occurrence that brings an individual from your world to ours seems to only occur every ten years to get here, and twenty five to get back."

"So what you're saying is I'm stuck here, until I'm 47?" I could feel my heartbeat racing.

"From what I've seen, I'm afraid so."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to, I just," I paused as I stood up straight, taking a deep breath.

 _"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

"Holy shit, you've got to be fucking kidding me! What the actual fuck? Shitty shit shit, Jesus fucking christ!" I was back to screaming, only this time my mental filter seemed to have stopped working.

But they had stopped singing right before, so no longer had my words been covered by their song, and I looked around to see Kili and Fili shooting me bizarre looks.

Then the doorbell rang.

"That's freaking Thorin, isn't it?" I yelled at Gandalf, cringing at my own words.

"My dear Malia, please go find yourself a seat at the table." Gandalf said tiredly.

"I'm going to ruin everything!" I yelled, yet again.

"Malia," Gandalf boomed, the hallway darkening slightly. "If you thought your arrival here would ruin anything, you are completely mistaken."

I took a step away from Gandalf. God, what an awkward conversation to have while everyone was watching.

"Your father being here only made things better, not worse. This is your chance to have an adventure, what else are you going to do while you wait?" Gandalf smiled gently.

Before I could say another word, Gandalf sternly pointed towards the other room, where the table was.

I knew better than to argue much further with a wizard, and I quickly brushed past Kili and Bofur, making my way through the kitchen and into the dinning room.

The Dwarves had all gotten up for Thorin's arrival, which left me sitting alone at the table like an idiot.

I sighed, waiting patiently for something, anything to happen. Most preferably, me being swallowed by the furniture and seizing to exist. Honestly, I was pretty open minded at that point.

As luck had it, Thorin was miraculously able to not see me while he ate his food. Then again, he had lost his way to Bag-End, so his observation skills were most likely lacking. For the better half of his meal, the Dwarves were highly interested in what he had to say, and I was able to hide behind Ori and pretend I didn't exist.

It was when Gandalf required more light, that Ori's concentration started to brake.

"Far to the east…" Gandalf said.

I had actually intended on listening to what Gandalf had to say. For one, he didn't mumble, so I was actually able to discern what he was saying; But he also was the one who actually wanted me at the table.

 _"Over ranges and rivers…"_

Gandalf sprawled a map on the table before my view was blocked completely by Ori's head.

"Pardon." I whispered to him, trying to lean over the table more to see the map, while not sticking out and getting Thorin's attention.

"There are orange fish on your shirt." Ori said, pointing towards the design on my shirt.

 _"…Beyond woodlands and wastelands…"_

"Yes, I know." I quietly said to him, hoping it would shut him up.

 _"…Lies a single, solitary peak."_

"How'd you get that bright of an orange?" Ori asked.

"Shh." I hissed, putting my finger over my mouth.

"The lonely mountain." Bilbo read from the map.

Ori had seemed dissatisfied with my answer, and continued staring at my shirt.

"Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Gloin, a very hairy ginger dwarf with braids in his beard, said.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold." Oin said, nodding his head. "When the birds of yore return to erebor… the reign of the beast will end."

"Uhm, what beast?" Bilbo asked nervously.

"That would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals." Bofur remarked casually.

If I hadn't been hiding my existence and in weird company, I would've joked about how that sounded a lot like my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Gardner.

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo said.

"I'm not afraid. I'm up for it." Ori said as he jumped up from his seat, blocking me completely from Thorin's view. "I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!"

I hadn't a clue what a Jacksie was, but from the reaction Nori and Dori gave, I was pretty sure it meant butt-hole.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us…but we number just 13." Balin said, and I let out a sigh of relief.

Balin hadn't counted me in yet, and the more I heard about Smaug, the more I was convinced Gandalf had actually wanted me dead. "And not 13 of the best… Nor brightest."

Everyone was in a slight uproar over Balin's words, except Ori who had yet again grown transfixed by my shirt.

"Stop it." I hissed at him, but he continued staring.

"We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf." Fili said confidently.

"And you forget we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." Kili added.

I really don't know where Kili had gotten that idea.

"Oh, Well no, I wouldn't say-" Gandalf began, but was cut off by Dori.

"How many, then?"

"What?" Gandalf sputtered.

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Dori continued.

Gandalf started coughing nervously, and then yet again, there was an uproar. All the dwarves were shouting amongst themselves, except for Ori was was still staring at my chest.

"For the love of god, stop staring at my chest." I said, perhaps a little too loudly and at the exact moment Thorin had silenced all of them by yelling in dwarfish.

"If we have read these signs…" Thorin started, his cold blue gaze set on me.

Talk about awkward, the man had realized I existed yet continued regardless.

"Do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug, has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing… wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back erebor?"

"You forget the front gate is sealed." Balin dismissed. "There is no way into the mountain."

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf said as he pulled a large key out of his pocket.

"How came you by this?" Thorin asked.

"It was given to me by your father. By Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf handed the key over to Thorin.

"If there is a key…" Fili mumbled. "There must be a door."

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." Gandalf confirmed.

"There's another way in." Kill added excitedly.

"Well, if we can find it. But dwarf doors are invisible when closed.." Gandalf sighed.

"The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skills to find it. But there are others in middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we are careful and clever, I believe it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori agreed, his gaze slowly crawling back to my shirt.

"Seriously, stop it." I said again.

"You had told me of one, not two." Thorin said to Gandalf.

"Right, of course." Gandalf motioned towards me. "Stand up, Malia."

I wanted to tell him no, but instead I slowly stood up.

"This is Malia Reed, daughter of Mirabella Took and Rickon Reed." Gandalf said.

"Where have I heard of the Reed name before?" Thorin asked me.

I stared at him bewildered. As if I would know why he knew the name Reed. I had literally just learned my mother was a hobbit like an hour before.

"Malia, like her father, are both from a very different world." Gandalf explained. "Some of you might remember Rickon Reed, I believe he spent much time in the Blue Mountains before returning to the shire."

Some nodded in agreement with each other.

"Why was he in the Blue Mountains?" I asked, starting to feel faint.

I hadn't eaten in hours, and somehow changed worlds. It was all starting to make me dizzy, and overwhelmed.

"My dear Malia, your father was a dwarf."

It was that revelation, mixed with low blood sugar and anxiety, that finally caused me to nearly pass out. Nearly. I'm not lucky enough to actually pass out, apparently.

"Oh god." I groaned, closing my eyes as I fell to my right, my butt hitting the bench awkwardly and my head falling onto Bombur's large stomach.

"I'm so sorry." I said as I forced my head off of him, one hand going to my head and the other to my butt, where I most likely had a bruise.

"Anyone got an Advil?" I asked, my eyes staying closed. "I'd be down with some Xanax, too. Before I have a panic attack."

None of the Dwarves spoke, but I knew they were looking at me.

"That's fine, no one has to answer me." I said as I rested my head on the table. "Just leave me here to die of shame."

"Someone get the lass some food, or herbs." Dwalin said dismissively.

I snorted, hearing as someone got up and left the room.

"She's not fit for a journey such as this." Thorin said.

"Hey." I snapped up, my eyes opening and then blinking rapidly to get rid of the black dots in my eyesight.

"I'll have you know I'm stronger than I look. I can hold my breath under water for two minutes, I can swim 25 meters without a breath, I can run, I know how to use a bow and arrow, I can swim down 12 feet, grab a 50 pound object, and bring it to the top." I paused, looking around at the Dwarves. "And I have to clue why I'm tell you any of this."

"Here you go." Kili said, a plate landing on the table in front of me.

I saw the meat on the table and frowned, forcing myself to exhale and ignore it. I grabbed the bread, taking a large bite out of it.

"What about Bilbo? Is he an excellent burglar?" Dwalin asked.

"Am I what?" Bilbo sputtered.

"He said he's an expert!" Oin said, and I raised a brow at him. He was using some sort of hearing aid, so that explained why he didn't hear right.

"No, no. I'm not a burglar." Bilbo insisted. "I've never stolen a thing in my life."

"Same." I mumbled, frowning and hoping no one had heard. Thankfully, they hadn't.

"Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Balin said.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin said, giving me a pointed look.

"Hey, I said I could, you assface." I spat at him, a piece of bread flying out of my mouth. "Also, I bit you, so clearly I can fend for myself."

What a lady. Yikes.

"They're just fine." Kili said, as everyone else started talking over themselves.

I looked around the table, and noticed Bifur using some sort of sign language. I couldn't help but smile at him. That was my kind of thing.

He also had an axe in his head, so maybe not my kind of people.

"Enough!" Gandalf bellowed. "If I say Bilbo Baggins and Malia Reed are burglars, then burglars they are." The room went darker as he spoke.

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most," Gandalf gave me a pointed look. "If they choose. And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf…The scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives up a distinct advantage."

Gandalf bent down to talk to Thorin. "You asked me to find the 14th member of this company, and I have chosen them both. There's a lot more to them than appearances suggest. And they have a great deal more to offer than any of you know…" Gandalf paused, looking from Bilbo to myself. "Including themselves."

Gandalf and Thorin look at each other, and Gandalf sighed. "You must trust me on this."

"Very well." Thorin said. "We will do it your way."

"No, no." Bilbo sputtered from behind Thorin.

"Give them the contract." Thorin demanded.

"Oh, I don't need a contract." I said, shaking my head.

"The contract gives you rights to 1/14 of the treasure, Lady Malia." Balin said, looking at me.

"That's fine. I don't want it." I shrugged.

"Why not?" Thorin asked.

"Well, outside of financial security, money doesn't really buy happiness, now does it?" I looked around, and could tell none of them understood what I meant. "I can't take the gold back with me either. Honestly I'm just apart of this for room and board. Feed me, and we have a deal."

Bombur snorted.

"It's just the usual, summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, renumeration, funeral arrangements, so forth." Balin said as he got up, lifting the contract for Bilbo to look at.

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo sputtered, stepping away from the table as he opened the contract.

"Uhh, Malia," Bilbo said louder, looking at me to come towards him.

I nodded, getting up and going to him.

"Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations, evisceration?" Bilbo stopped and pulled the paper out farther. "Incineration?" He asked, looking at the dwarves.

"Aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in a blink of an eye." Bofur said.

Bilbo stopped, his arms dropping as he whimpered.

"Are you alright laddie?" Balin asked Bilbo.

"Yeah…" Bilbo said.

"It's a fast death, Bilbo." I reminded him, watching him worryingly, shifting awkwardly next to him.

I mean, it was. If I had to choose a death, that sounded by far easier than, well, anything I had ever seen in a Saw movie.

"Feel a bit faint." He said.

"Think furnace, with wings." Bofur supplied.

"Air, I need air." Bilbo stuttered, bringing his hand to his mouth.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof. You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

"Doubt you'd even feel it, really." I added. "Or, not for very long."

"Hmm…" Bilbo looked off. "Nope." He finally said, turning slightly and falling to the ground.

I tried to stop him, but it didn't work and we both ended up on the floor instead.

Bilbo was on top of me, which really wasn't how I wanted my evening to go.

"Oh, very helpful Bofur." Gandalf said sarcastically.

"Can someone get him off of me?" I asked, trying to push Bilbo away.

"Right." Gandalf said, and Bofur jumped out of his seat and came over to us, grabbing Bilbo by the legs and dragging him off.

"Shouldn't we put him somewhere?" I asked, slowly getting off of the floor and brushing my clothes off.

"Aye." Bofur looked at me, still holding Bilbo's legs.

"Why are you looking at me?" I asked him, raising a brow at him.

"Where shall we put him, Lassie?" Bofur asked.

"I'm not a dog." I snapped, and Bofur gave me a weird look. "Also, how should I know? I only met him an hour before you did."

"I'll take him." Gandalf said, and I watched him as he got up and bent down near Bilbo, and started to pick him up. "You can let go of him, Bofur." Gandalf lifted Bilbo up, then looked back at the company, nearly slamming his head on the ceiling. "The rest of you go into the other room." Gandalf sighed. "I will talk to him once he wakes."

I watched as Gandalf carried Bilbo off into the study, and then slowly the dwarves went into another room.

I sat down by the fire, while we waited to find out about Bilbo. I was nervous, and I stared off into space until someone had jolted me from my trance.

"Lady Malia." I looked up, noticing Kili come towards me, a smile on his face. "I'm glad you have decided to join us."

I raised a brow at him. "Why?"

He didn't seem to expect that, and he looked at me confused.

"I'm not even convinced I'm going to be any help." I said to him, shrugging. "I'm not special, or important. My whole life I've been no one. I'm particularly good at it, too."

Kili looked away from me, and I could tell he didn't know what to say. I nodded, looking around the room and sighing before I got up.

I quietly exited the room, and Balin nodded sadly at me while Thorin, Dwalin, and himself waited outside the room Bilbo and Gandalf were in.

I left the house, enjoying the cool night air. I went over to the bench I had been found on, and took a seat at it.

I missed my dad. I missed my world, and I missed my best friend. I missed my phone. What the hell was I going to do without my phone?

I hadn't touched a bow in years, I didn't know if I'd actually be any good anymore.

"Lady Malia."

I nearly fell off of the bench when I jerked around to see who it was. It was Kili. Man, he didn't know when to give up.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him, watching him slowly as he came towards me.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said as he smiled at me, an amused twinkle in his eye. "It's not safe for a woman like yourself to be out here alone."

I snorted. "As if anything bad has ever happened in the shire." I said.

"Are you all right?" He asked, sitting down next to me and looking concerned.

"I haven't held a bow in years. I just," I sighed, looking away from him. "I feel like I'm going to weigh you guys down." I paused. "Not literally, mind you. I bet you are all very strong and could easily carry me."

Kili's hand came onto my shoulder, and I looked at him as his smile grew.

"We can fix that." He said, standing up and taking his hand off of my shoulder, then running back into the house.

"Fix what?" I asked myself in confusion.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to follow him, so I merely waited on the bench. Within a few moments, he was back outside, a bow and quiver in his arms.

I stood up, and he stopped beside me, lifting his arms up for me to take them from him.

"Are these yours?" I asked him.

He smiled, nodding.

"Try hitting that tree over there." He said, motioning to a tree near Bilbo's house.

I put the quiver on my back. It was large on me, and I gave one last look at Kili before I grabbed an arrow and readied the bow.

I grabbed an arrow, and my hands started to shake as I aimed it at the tree. I let go of the bow, the arrow shooting off a few feet left of the tree.

I groaned.

"God damnit." I mumbled, looking at the tree sadly.

"Try again." Kili said from behind me.

I turned and looked at him, noticing him still smiling encouragingly at me.

I nodded and looked away, grabbing another arrow and readying my bow.

"Relax." Kili said as he got closer to me.

His arms nearly went around me as one hand forced me to stand up straight, and the other went around my wrist, putting it into a more relaxed angle. I could feel his breath on my neck as he stayed behind me.

"Let out a few deep breaths, imagine the arrow going into the tree." Kili said.

I did as he said, and although it took a while to relax, once I did, I let go.

I watched in amazement as the arrow actually stuck into the tree. Not quite the middle, but it was still in the freaking tree.

"I did it!" I said as I turned around to look at him, a smile on my face.

Kili smiled back, nodding. "Do it again." He instructed.

I nodded, turning away from him and readying the bow again.

I heard him chuckle behind me, his breath tickling my neck. "You need to stand up straight." He said, his hand going back to my back, pushing me to stand up straighter.

I felt him laugh again.

"How have you managed to be both slumped over and rigid at the same time?" Kili asked, his other hand going back to my wrist and slowly trailing to my fingers, relaxing them slightly.

"That's a very good question." I said to him, trying to focus on the archery instead of how close he was to me, or his hand on my back.

God, what was happening to me?

He didn't say anything more, and I took a few deep breathes, imagining the arrow going into the tree before letting it go.

I watched it strike the tree in the middle. The freaking middle.

"You're quite good at this." Kili said as he took a step away from me, his hands falling back to his sides.

I turned at him and smiled, nodding.

"I used to practice with my mom everyday." I sighed, looking back at the tree. "Thank god for muscle memory."

Maybe I wouldn't weigh them down so much.


	3. Segment Two

**_While I don't give a crap if you don't like this, please do tell me if you like it! Obviously I've already written it, and will continue to work on it, but if no one likes it, I'd just stop posting it. 'Cause you know, I've got better things to do. Probably_**.

* * *

Thorin didn't quite want me to come. Actually, that's a pretty big understatement. Thorin really didn't want me to come. He only softened slightly after Kili told him I could actually defend myself.

To Thorin, I was a weird little girl. To be fair, I was a weird little girl.

But you can't say no to a wizard.

The next day I found myself on a pony, amongst the company as we began leaving the shire.

"How'd you know to get a pony for me, Gandalf?" I asked him as we ventured down the path out of the shire.

The Hobbits had given me weird looks when we left, but that honestly could've been for any reason. Like the fact I was with a wizard and a bunch of dwarves. Or, the fact that I was dressed very strangely.

"My dear Malia, I knew your father and mother well. Only a child of Mirabella's would come at such a moment like this. And I knew you'd come eventually." Gandalf said, smiling down at me from his horse.

"So, you guessed then?" I asked him, and he frowned slightly at me as Fili, Kili, and Dori laughed behind us.

Silence fell over the company and I sighed, speaking up again.

"When do you reckon Bilbo is going to catch up with us?" I asked Gandalf as he started picking up pace and leading on his horse.

"The other hobbit isn't coming. He made that quite clear last night." Thorin said.

"Right so, in an hour, maybe?" I ignored Thorin's words.

"Lady Malia, He's not coming." Dori insisted.

"What do you wanna bet he is?" I said, stopping my pony to turn around and look at Dori.

"I'll wager you ten gold pieces that he is not going to show." Dori said.

I pretended to think it over, before shaking my head.

"How about, if I'm right, you guys have to quit it with the 'Lady Malia' stuff." I said. "It's too formal."

"And if I win?" Dori asked.

"Then call me whatever the hell you want." I shrugged while nudging my pony to continue walking. "Spawn of satan, Lassie, whatever."

"Deal." Dori said.

"Well, if you're not going to take the gold, I will." Gandalf added.

"Me too." Kili added, and I watched in amusement as the other dwarves made bets.

We continued out of the shire and into the woods on our ponies, and I began to realize how boring adventures could be. I mean, sure, the forest was lovely looking, but it was a lot of the same so far.

I was even bold and bored enough to braid my hair into a fishtail braid, getting at least some of it out of the way.

"Didn't I say it, that coming here was a waste of time?" Dori said.

"Rude." I muttered.

"Using a halfling. A hobbit, no less." Dori continued, and Nori grunted in agreement.

"Rude." I said again.

It wasn't much later when Bilbo came running to us, the contract in his hand.

"Here, I signed it." Bilbo said to Balin as the line up came to a halt.

"Everything appears to be in order." Balin agreed. "Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"Give him a pony." Thorin said, nudging his pony to continue.

"No, no. That won't be necessary." Bilbo insisted as we rode beside him.

"Thank you. I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know. Even got as far as frogmorton once."

Bilbo's ramblings were cut short as the company kept moving forward past him, and Kili and Fili lifted Bilbo up and onto a pony. Which, he was very angry about.

"I suppose I was right to agree with you." Kili said as he trotted his pony up to mine, to ride by my side. "What else do you know, Lady Malia?"

"I know I'm not supposed to be called that." I remarked. He frowned, and was about to leave. "I'm sorry." I quickly added. "It's just, If I say anything, you'll think I'm insane."

I paused. "I think I'm insane, honestly."

I looked at Kili beside me to see him staring back at me, his eyes urging me to continue.

"Look, Killian," I started, but Kili quickly cut me off.

"Kili."

"Right. Kili," I sighed. "You're a very pretty dwarf, and now you're giving me a very weird look and I'm really starting to realize how about 95% of me isn't appropriate for this world."

He raised a brow, and I continued.

"I'm sure woman here don't swear, and normally wear dresses." I looked down. "Or at least trousers, and not you know, black leggings. And they probably cook, and clean. And they aren't vegetarian hippies, and they actually shower consistently in something other than chlorinated water. So what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. But I'm naturally too offensive for this world."

"Did you say I was pretty?" Kili asked, a smile creeping onto his face.

Honestly, Kili was like a dog that had been given a bone.

"I'm sorry," I raised my brow at him. "Did you not know that?" I asked him.

Kili merely smiled and looked down at his pony's mane.

"Seriously, you didn't know?" I asked again.

"Dwarves are quite hairy." Kili lifted his hand and motioned to the company. "The lack of a beard on me makes me unappealing." Kili said, looking back down at his saddle somewhat distantly.

"But you have to have your beard cut, right?" Kili turned and looked at me. "You can't be an archer and have a beard. Not unless, you want your beard to get caught in it."

Kili stared at me, and at first I had thought I had said the wrong thing. It wouldn't have been the first time.

So I continued rambling. "I would know." I frowned. "Not because I've had a beard, but because when I was little my hair used to be very unkempt from all the chlorine and the swimming. I nearly tore out a chunk of my hair while practicing with my mom. After that, she would comb my hair and tie it back before practice."

Kili smiled at me. "You're the first person I've ever heard say that." Kili admitted, staring at me in awe.

I laughed, looking up at the beautiful blue sky. "That you're attractive, or that you can't have facial hair and do archery safely?" I paused and quickly added, "Or that they've nearly torn their hair out practicing."

Kili shook his head at me, the smile staying as he said. "All of them, I suppose."

I smiled back at him. "Tell me more about how you were so wrongly deemed unattractive."

"Arrows in general are considered a much softer weapon. I'm the youngest, and I have a very deep bond with my mother."

I looked back at him, bewildered. "Do many dwarves not like their mothers?" I asked.

Kili shrugged, then sighed and shook his head. "I'm sure they do love them, though none of them are as close as I am to her."

I sighed. "I loved my mother, too." I admitted. "She was my role model. A strong-headed individual." I paused, contemplating continuing.

"She was from this world, apparently." I said. "Ten years ago she disappeared from my world. I had thought she had left my dad and I, or died, but I guess." I sighed. "I guess she probably came back to Middle-Earth. To her real home."

"She left you?" Kili asked, and I looked at him and nodded my head before looking away.

My eyes began tearing up and I sniffled very unattractively, closing my eyes and taking another deep breath.

"I'm sorry Malia." Kili said, and I could tell by his tone that he had meant it.

"I would never do that to my kid." I said, then frowned. "I'm not saying I want kids, or thinking about having kids with you." God, I was really messing up this talking thing. "Well, at least I wasn't until I said it."

Kili chuckled, and I looked at him to see him wink at me.

"Don't wink at me." I said, a smile creeping back on my face. "You do realize I said I don't wear dresses, eat meat or bathe regularly." I added.

"Is that normal in your culture?" Kili asked.

"Well, not really." I admitted, shrugging.

"You certainly are strange." Kili said, smiling again. "What is chlorinated water?"

I smiled. "Do you want the whole story, or just a synopsis?"

"The whole story, Malia. The whole story." Kili said, flashing me another smile.

"Well, I'm not sure if its the same thing here, but the leading cause of childhood deaths where I'm from is drowning." I paused, watching as he raised a brow at me.

"Really morbid start, sorry. Anyways, my dad opened a swim school. A swim school has a pool, and our pools are man-made. They are dug into the ground, and clean water is put in the hole. To keep the water even cleaner, they put chemicals in it, like chlorine. Actually,"

I paused, pulling up the sleeve of my shirt. My arm still smelled like chlorine from the day before. "Smell my arm."

"I'm sorry?" Kili asked, looking at my outstretched arm.

"Is that an overreach? 'Cause I just thought you'd want to know what Chlorine smelled like. It has a very distinct smell." I grumbled.

I was about to put my arm down when he grabbed my hand, and carefully brought my arm to his nose and sniffed.

His face scrunched up in confusion. "I've never smelled anything like that before. Is that safe to swim in?"

"I mean, kind of? It dries the skin out like crazy, and lightens hair, and hurts your eyes" I paused, frowning slightly in thought. "But its safe…Ish."

"So you teach kids how to swim, in this chlorine water?" Kili asked, his eyes watching my hand as I brought it back towards my body.

"Yes."

A toothy grin spread over Kili's face, and he bit his lip.

"Are you all naked?" Kili asked.

"What?" My eyes grew.

"No." I quickly added. "We have swimsuits. Which is clothing designed to be swam in."

Kili nodded, although it was clear he wasn't quite grasping the idea of swimsuits yet, and I had a feeling he was still convinced we must've swam naked.

"And is this sort of thing normal?" Kili asked.

"Yeah." I nodded, then stopped and paused. "I mean, kind of."

"Kind of?" Kili teased.

"Do you know how to swim?" I asked him.

"I can hold my own." Kili said as he smiled down at his pony.

"I bet I can kick your ass at it." I watched his eyes grow in shock. "Right, swearing."

Silence spread over the company, and I grew tired of the silence fast. It had been hours of this dull riding.

I started tapping the saddle.

"Under the autumn tree, the chair where you would swing." I started singing quietly. "A yard so full of leaves, comfort me."

"What are you saying Malia?" Kili asked.

"A man that resembles me, watching his young lady sleep, now I'm off to dream, comfort me." I smiled at him, watching as his brow raised in amusement.

"It's a song." I explained.

"A song of your people?" Kili asked.

"I guess." I shrugged. "It's a lot different in my world. Your job can be an entertainer, someone who makes music and produces it for all to buy and listen to."

"Buy?" Kili asked.

"Yeah. We have devices that let us listen to it." I sighed. Man, I missed my phone.

"Strange."

"Yeah, I suppose it would be strange to you." I said, sighing.

"Most of our songs are well known." Kili said. "Some are finely rooted in our culture, while others we make up on the spot."

"I'm assuming that song you guys sang last night after dinner was probably made up?" I asked, referring to the song they sang about Bilbo.

"Yes, it was." Kili smiled and nodded.

"It was very nice." I said. "You guys should make up songs all the time. Or, I'll be forced to sing whatever song I find fits the situation best." I smiled at the thought.

"And what song would you choose to fit this situation best?" Kili played.

It was a very somber day, and although the song I choose didn't quite fit it, I still went along with it.

"Old friends," I began, smiling at the trees. "Sat on their park bench like bookends,"

 _"A newspaper blown through the grass,_  
 _Falls on the 'round toes,_  
 _On the high shoes,_  
 _Of the old friends,_

 _Old friends,_  
 _Winter companions,_  
 _The old men,_  
 _Lost in their overcoats,_  
 _Waiting for the sunset,_  
 _The sounds of the city,_  
 _Sifting through the trees,_  
 _Settle like dust_  
 _On the shoulders_  
 _Of the old friends_

 _Can you imagine us,_  
 _Years from today,_  
 _Sharing a park bench quietly?_  
 _How terribly strange,_  
 _To be seventy,_

 _Old friends,_  
 _Memory brushes the same years,_  
 _Silently sharing the same fear…_

 _Time it was, and what a time it was,_  
 _It was,_  
 _A time of innocence_  
 _A time of confidences_

 _Long ago, it must be,_  
 _So long ago,_  
 _I have a photograph,_  
 _Preserve your memories,_  
 _They're all that's left of you."_

I smiled, turning to look at Kili. He smiled back.

"That's beautiful." He said.

"That's Simon and Garfunkel." I retorted.

"What does it mean, how terribly strange to be seventy?" Kili asked. "I'm seventy seven."

I sighed. "That's old in my world. How old do Dwarves live to?"

"Well into our 200s. Normally around 250." Kili said.

"So lets say on average, you all die at 250." I paused. "Morbid."

Kili snorted.

"Anyways, on average, in my world, our people lived to like 90. So 250 divided by 90 is what, 2.7? So 77 divided by 2.7, would make you 28 years old in my world." I said.

Kili looked impressed by my math. Honestly, same.

"And alternatively that makes me…" I frowned. "62."

Kili let out a chuckle, amused by my sadness.

"God, that makes me feel old." I said. "I should be complaining about how my bad knee can feel the weather changing, and saying things like, 'My arthritis is acting up'."

"You have a bad knee?" Kili sputtered.

"No." I said, letting go of the reigns and rolling my wrists. "Although I'm starting to think my arthritis is acting up." I sighed, grabbing the reigns again. "That or it hurts to stay still this long."

"You're normally quite active, I'm assuming." Kili said.

"Yeah, I'm normally swimming after kids in a pool, and lifting them up." I nodded.

"Women in our culture do most of the child-rearing, too."

I ignored the majority of that comment from Kili. I knew he meant well, in his own way.

"I used to think I hated kids." I said. "But then I realized that I get along quite well with them, considering I have the mindset of a five year old most times."

"What is that to mean?"

"It means that I like playing games, teasing people, joking about." I shrugged. "Childish stuff."

He laughed. "My mother says I'm reckless."

I looked at him, raising a brow. "I'm inclined to agree with her."

Kili snorted, shaking his head bemusedly at me.

"We will camp here." Thorin announced, startling me from my conversation with Kili.

I looked around as I got off of my pony. (Whom I had rightfully named Henry.) We were on a cliffside, which I supposed would make it easier for us to protect, not having to worry about all the sides.

So we set up camp near that cliff, and I found myself between Kili and Fili as dinner was being eaten. It was a rabbit stew, which, smelled amazing. My stomach was starting to betray me.

But I refused to eat. I was starving, but not that starving. I didn't fancy the idea of getting sick on the first night, and throwing up around people I wasn't comfortable enough with. I hardly liked  
the idea of throwing up around my best friend, and I had practically known her since birth.

Bilbo seemed to notice me struggling.

"Here." Bilbo said, smiling at me and handing me a few apples.

I was so immensely thankful, and nodded towards him gratefully as I started eating them.

"Thanks, Cuz." I said teasingly, watching as Bilbo rolled his eyes.

Fili watched me as I ate, an amused glimmer in his eyes.

"I'm living for the braids, by the way." I mentioned between bites of apple as I looked back at Fili.

"Living?" Kili asked, and I looked at him and shrugged. He seemed somewhat offended, considering he was braid-less.

"I just," I paused to swallow the bit of apple. "I mean in my culture, we say 'we are living for' something when we like it a lot. I just, I like the braids."

Fili rolled his eyes at me, and nodded towards Kili.

"Braids are very important part of dwarfish culture." Kili explained as he pulled out his bow and quiver, and began counting the arrows.

"Should be braid-less?" I asked, looking from Kili to Fili, and grabbing my loosely braided hair. "'Cause I can totally take my braid out, it's no," I started, but Fili cut me off.

"You're fine, Malia." Fili said dismissively.

"Well." I grumbled, throwing my hair back over my shoulder. "I'm still living for them."

"Ya'll are going to need to tell me more of your culture before I, you know." I paused as I took another bite out of the apple. "Offend all of you."

Kili chuckled, looking up from his quiver to look at me.

"We guard our language, Khuzdul, from others." Kili said. "No non-dwarf is to learn it."

"What does that mean for me, then?" I asked him. " 'Cause I'm not a hobbit, but I'm not a dwarf either."

"Well then, Malia." Fili said, and I looked back at him. "You belong nowhere, then."

I glared at him for a moment before looking back at Kili.

"But I want to learn it." I said sadly to Kili.

"Well," Kili glanced at his brother before looking back at me. "You're a special case I reckon."  
I smiled at him before looking back at Fili. "See, Ass-face. Special case."

Fili looked at me bewildered, and slightly offended.

"Right, sorry. Swearing. Damnit." I groaned as I put my face into my hands.

* * *

Growing up, I had gone to camp. At camp, we'd ride horses, and sleep in tents and under the stars. On middle-earth, however, it didn't seem quite as safe to be doing any of those things.

For one, we didn't have tents. We didn't even have sleeping bags. I used to comfort in the concept of a bag which bugs couldn't get into.

When night rolled around, Fili threw a fur blanket at my face instead. I didn't even ask what animal the fur was, because I had a feeling I wouldn't like the answer.

Most of the Dwarves fell asleep within the first hour. I, on the other hand, stayed awake in-between Kili and Fili, too scared and wound up to sleep.

Kili was busy sharpening his arrows, and Fili and I hadn't had the most civil of conversations yet. Actually, most of our conversations ended with one of us frowning at the other. We were both too strong willed, and Fili didn't seem to enjoy my sarcasm.

"The stars are beautiful." I whispered to Kili.

"Aye, they are." Kili agreed.

"Where I'm from, there's so much light in cities that it ruins the ability to see the night stars. My mom hated it."

"I saw a fire moon once." Kili said.

"A what?"

"A fire moon. It rose over the pass near Dunland." Kili's smile grew. "Huge, red and gold it was, it filled the sky." Kili looked into my eyes. "We were an escort for some merchants from Ered Luin, they were trading in silverwork for furs. We took the greenway south, keeping the mountain to our left, and then it appeared. This huge fire moon lighting our path."

Kili seemed amused by how I stared at him agape, astonished. "I wish I could show you."

"You've traveled the world, haven't you?" I asked him, still looking at him in awe.

He nodded. "We Dwarves find work where we can get it. Most of the time that leads us away from our families."

"It sounds lonely." I said, looking away from him and back up at the stars.

"Aye, it can be." Kili said, his voice growing quiet.

"I don't do loneliness well." I said. "I mean, I didn't actively try to find people to be with, either. I had my dad, and my best friend."

"And that was enough?" Kili asked.

"It was." I said, sighing. "Now, I'm not so sure."

I sighed again, wrapping my blanket closer to me and looking back up at the stars.

Bilbo also had trouble sleeping, and I couldn't blame him. Not to trash on the dwarves, but none of them were from the same sort of comfort-zone as Bilbo and I were. I used to sleep in complete darkness, with a humidifier and fifty pillows.

I watched Bilbo as he stalked off towards his pony, and started petting it. At least him and myrtle were starting to get along.

The still-night air was disturbed by blood-curdling screeches and howls, and I found myself growing more nervous.

I instinctively grabbed out for Kili and Fili, as if they would protect me.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked, fear evident in his voice as he started to skip back towards the fire.

"Orcs." Kili said, and my grip on his forearm tightened.

"Shut up." I hissed at him, feeling my heartbeat begin to race.

"Orcs?" Bilbo asked, rushing back even faster to the fire.

"Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there." Fili added, and I let go of his arm and glared at him. Fili raised a brow at me, and blew smoke in my face from his pipe.

"Where'd you get the pipe?" I asked, trying to stifle my cough as I brought my hand over my mouth.

"The lone-lands are crawling with them." Fili continued, his gaze turning back to Bilbo.

"Shut up!" I hissed again. God, these two jerks. I knew they were joking, and I was still freaked.

"They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep." Kili added, his gaze turning to me, and a smile crawling onto his dumb attractive face.

"I know you're joking and I'm still never going to sleep again." I said to him, digging my fingers into his arm more. He didn't seem to care though, and merely smirked at me.

"Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." Kili said gravely.

Kili looked away from me and to his brother, and they both shared a small laugh.

"You think that's funny?" Thorin spoke up angrily as he stood up. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said, and his face fell in sadness. Poor guy, I'd hate to have a party pooper uncle like that.

"No, you didn't." Thorin hissed. "You know nothing of the world." Thorin stormed off.

My grip on Kili loosened, my hand sliding to his and shaking it reassuringly before dropping it.

I remember looking at him and wishing I could hug him, or try to make him feel better.

"Don't mind him, Laddie." Balin said.

"Thorin needs like a trigger warning for Orcs. Didn't they like, kill his dad?" I whispered.

"Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs." Balin agreed, nodding towards me.

"After the dragon took the lonely mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria." Balin paused.

"Fly you fools." I grumbled, and sighed when I felt their gaze on me. "That nearly fucked up my childhood. Don't ask." I shook my head, a shiver running down my spine.

Balin sighed. "But our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of orcs, led by the most vile of all their race: Azog the defiler. The giant Gundabad orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin."

"I'm sorry, but really?" I asked. "Like, isn't that really too much? Who has that much time and hatred to wipe out a whole lineage?"

"Orcs." Kili whispered, not looking me in the eye.

"Fuck." I whispered, looking to Balin to continue.

"He began by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing. Taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us."

Talk about the worst bedtime story ever, right? I mean, besides the camp story about the mental patient who escaped and killed the dog.

"That is when I saw him. A young dwarf prince facing down the pale orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armor rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken."

I had seen the movies, I knew I that the line could be broken, and with a heavy heart, I looked from Fili to Kili, knowing that they were supposed to die. I had only known them for a day, but I already knew I didn't want them to die. I already knew I really didn't want Kili to die.

"The line of Durin will not be so easily broken." I whispered, nodding my head and looking into the fire.

There was no guarantees I'd make it back to my home, and even if I did, who the hell would believe me? It was either help these brothers, or hide and go back to earth to be sent to an insane asylum, really.

"Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back, and our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast… nor song that night… for our dead was beyond the count of grief. We few had survived, and I thought to myself then… there is one I could follow. There is one I could call king."

"Same." I said instinctively.

God, Same culture on Earth ruined my conversational abilities.

I looked up from the fire and noticed that all the Dwarves had woken up, and some were watching me weirdly.

"It's been like one day here, and I'd already kill for a spicy potato taco. I'm so hungry." I blurted out, and right when the words came from my mouth I felt myself blushing.

"There's still," Kili started, but I cut him off.

"Meat? Yeah, I know. It's going to take me longer than a day to break down and eat a bunny." I looked at Kili and saw him smile at me. "My best friend's mom had a bunny when we were like, 10. His name was Pablo. He ran away. Don't ask."

"And the pale orc, what happened to him?" Bilbo cut in, apparently more interested in Balin's story than mine about my friend's runaway bunny.

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came." Thorin grumbled as he stalked towards the fire. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

It had taken me a lot of self-restraint not to scoff at his words, and say 'Uhh, no he did not.' On the other hand, I watched Balin and Gandalf share a knowing glance, which I could only assume was this world's way of saying 'And about that.'

"I'm never sleeping again." I mumbled, groaning as I watched the crowd re-disperse.

Kili sighed. "You'll be fine, Lady Malia."

"Sing me a song before I hear Orcs again and scream." I said, looking back up at the stars.

"Aye," Kili paused, thinking. "I'll sing you the song of Durin." Kili said, putting his arrows away.

 _"The world was young, the mountains green,_  
 _No stain yet on the Moon was seen,_  
 _No words were laid on stream or stone_  
 _When Durin woke and walked alone._  
 _He named the nameless hills and dells;_  
 _He drank from yet untasted wells;_  
 _He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,_  
 _And saw a crown of stars appear,_  
 _As gems upon a silver thread,_  
 _Above the shadows of his head._  
 _The world was fair, the mountains tall,_  
 _In Elder Days before the fall_  
 _Of mighty kings in Nargothrond_  
 _And Gondolin, who now beyond_  
 _The Western Seas have passed away:_  
 _The world was fair in Durin's Day._  
 _A king he was on carven throne_  
 _In many-pillared halls of stone_  
 _With golden roof and silver floor,_  
 _And runes of power upon the door._  
 _The light of sun and star and moon_  
 _In shining lamps of crystal hewn_  
 _Undimmed by cloud or shade of night_  
 _There shone for ever fair and bright._  
 _There hammer on the anvil smote,_  
 _There chisel clove, and graver wrote;_  
 _There forged was blade, and bound was hilt;_  
 _The delver mined, the mason built._  
 _There beryl, pearl, and opal pale,_  
 _And metal wrought like fishes' mail,_  
 _Buckler and corslet, axe and sword,_  
 _And shining spears were laid in hoard._  
 _Unwearied then were Durin's folk;_  
 _Beneath the mountains music woke:_  
 _The harpers harped, the minstrels sang,_  
 _And at the gates the trumpets rang._  
 _The world is grey, the mountains old,_  
 _The forge's fire is ashen-cold;_  
 _No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:_  
 _The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;_  
 _The shadow lies upon his tomb_  
 _In Moria, in Khazad-dûm._  
 _But still the sunken stars appear_  
 _In dark and windless Mirrormere;_  
 _There lies his crown in water deep,_  
 _Till Durin wakes again from sleep."_

When he had finished singing, I kept my eyes closed. I heard him sigh beside me, patting my shoulder.

"I'm not asleep." I said, opening my eyes and smiling.

He chuckled. "It appears that you're not."

"Should I choose a song of my own that suits this?" I asked him.

He smiled at me, nodding his head.

"Should I stray away from Simon and Garfunkel, and do something else?" I asked myself. I smiled when I figured out the perfect song, and started a beat.

 _"If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone,_  
 _You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles._  
 _A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles_  
 _You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles_

 _Lord I'm one, lord I'm two, lord I'm three, lord I'm four_  
 _Lord I'm 500 miles from my home._  
 _500 miles, 500 miles, 500 miles, 500 miles._  
 _Lord I'm five hundred miles away from my home._  
 _Not a shirt on my back, not a penny to my name_  
 _Lord I can't go a-home this a-way._  
 _This a-way, this a-way, this a-way, this a-way,_  
 _Lord I can't go a-home this a-way_  
 _If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone_  
 _You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles."_

There was silence after I finished singing, and I sighed.

"I'm not quite sure what some of those words meant." Kili admitted, sighing as well. "You miss home, don't you?"

I looked at him to see he was staring at me, a sad smile on his face.

"I think what I miss the most is my comfort zone." I admitted, looking away from him and to the fire. "I woke up everyday, and for the most part, I knew what was going to happen. Out here, all bets are off. I don't know where I stand in this world, or who stands with me."

"I'll stand with you." Kili said.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at him. "You don't know me well enough to say that."

"Aye, but I know myself well enough to know you are the kind of Hobbit I'd stand with." Kili said, a smile donning on his face.

"I could be a murderer, you don't know."

Kili snorted. "I know you're not a murderer. Believe it or not, I can read you quite well, Malia." Kili winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, that makes one of us." I remarked dryly as I smiled and looked away from him and up at the stars.


	4. Segment Three

I hadn't slept that night, so once morning came, I was beyond grumpy. As the day slunk by, I didn't think anything would make me feel better. And then it started raining.

I smiled at the sky, opening my mouth and letting some drops fall in as I closed my eyes.

The rain drenched us within minutes, and left the others in a bitter mood. But for me, it was as close to swimming I had gotten since I was in my world, and I was going to take it with stride.

"Here, Mr. Gandalf. Can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked bitterly.

I turned slightly on Henry to raise a brow at him, but he merely continued glaring at Gandalf.

"It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard." Gandalf said.

"Are there any?" Bilbo asked. Myrtle, his pony, was in front of mine.

"What?" Gandalf asked, looking back slightly at Bilbo.

"Other wizards."

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the white. Then there are the two blue wizards…" Gandalf paused, in deep thought. "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names."

"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo asked.

"Well, that would be Radagast the brown."

"Wow." I mumbled. "Talk about foreshadowing."

"Is he a great wizard, or is he more like you?" Bilbo said, and although it sounded entirely innocent, I could tell he was dragging Gandalf.

"I see I got my sass from my mother's side." I said loudly, and Bilbo turned back to look at me, a small smile appearing on his face.

"I think he's a great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others." Gandalf said as he looked back at Bilbo and I for a moment.

"Same." I said, before groaning a bit, and then sighing. "Minus the gentle bit, probably."

"He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east. And a good thing, too. For always evil will look for a foot-hold in this world."

"That's mad ominous, Gandalf." I said, feeling myself shiver involuntarily.

Kili, who was riding behind me, finally spoke up. "You cold, Malia?"

"Not really." I said, sighing. "Kind of regretting wearing a white shirt, though."

I heard trotting from behind me, and turned slightly to watch Kili pick up pace to ride beside me.

"I haven't a clue what that means, Malia." Kili admitted, looking down at my shirt. His brow raised slightly, and I saw a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"Yes, the shirt is thin as heck." I said. "But I'm wearing a tank top underneath, and well," I paused, considering whether or not to tell the truth, or try to fit in with middle-earth.

The truth won.

"I'm normally wearing a lot less in a pool. We wear a rash guard, which is like a short sleeved shirt, and then a swimsuit, which is probably the equivalent of underpants here."

Kili looked away immediately, and I had a feeling it was to hide the possibility of him blushing.

"Are bodies something that people keep well hidden here?" I asked him, starting to feel like a fish out of water.

"I wouldn't say that." Kili said, shaking his head. "It's more that women, or at least, dwarf women, keep themselves very well clothed. I don't think many of them know how to swim." Kili let out a deep breath. "There are also very few dwarf women, too."

"Wow." I said. "No wonder my dad ended up marrying a hobbit. I can't imagine my dad being with someone who wouldn't want to swim."

"Would you marry someone who wouldn't want to swim?" Kili asked.

"Well." I paused. "To be honest, I had never thought I'd marry to begin with."

"And why is that?" Kili asked, looking up at the trees.

I looked up as well, and frowned slightly when I noticed the rain was stopping.

"Well, clearly you forgot what I told you yesterday. I'm not really ideal marriage material." I told him, shrugging. "Under-achiever Malia, still living with her father at twenty three, not going to college, staying in the family business. Not going out and meeting people, and consistently smelling of chlorine."

"College?" Kili asked. Man, he was full of questions.

"It's like schooling, where you go and learn more to get a certain skill set, I guess. I dunno." I admitted. "You have schooling, right?"

"Yes, we do." Kili said, a smile forming on his face. "We are not barbarians."

"Well, that's a relief." I said sarcastically. "I was beginning to think you were all savages."

I looked at Kili, and sighed when I saw his frown. "I'm being sarcastic. I didn't think you guys were barbarians, or savages, okay? If I had, I definitely wouldn't have gone with you guys."

"What did you think of us at first?" Kili asked, and I could tell by the look on his face that he was genuinely interested.

"Well, the first dwarf I met was Dwalin." I said, cringing. It had only been a few days ago then, but I had already realized it wasn't my finest hour. "And I had no clue where I was, or where my dad was. Then, and considering my idiotic babble I can't blame him; Dwalin grabbed me and dragged me to Bilbo's house. It all slowly went downhill as the night grew."

Kili chuckled. "What kind of idiotic babble?"

"She asked me if I was on drugs." Dwalin spoke up from his pony which was a few ahead of us. "Then if somehow she was apart of, what was it you said again Lassie?"

I sighed. "A drug deal gone wrong."

All the dwarves chuckled, and I smiled and laughed too.

"She then bit me when I wouldn't let go of her." Dwalin added.

Kili snorted, and I could feel his eyes on me. "You bit him?"

"He wouldn't let go of me, and was asking where the," I brought my hands up to do air quotations. " 'The person who takes care of me' was. And when I told him I didn't need anyone to take care of me, he laughed."

"So you bit him?" Kili teased.

"I reacted like anyone would when thrown into a very high-stress situation." I remarked, looking at Kili out of the corner of my eye to see him grinning at me.

"No." Fili said from his pony behind me. "You reacted like any animal would when thrown into a very high-stress situation."

"Either way." I laughed. "I got my way in the end. I had wanted him to let go of me, and he did." I shrugged.

"Aye Lassie, you did." Dwalin agreed. "And I've got the marks to prove it."

"Hey, you aren't supposed to call me Lassie anymore. I won the bet."

"What are you going to do about it?" Dwalin asked, looking back at me and raising a brow. "Bite me?"

"I wouldn't put it past myself." I laughed.

"If you bite me again, I might just bite back."

God, this conversation had gotten weird.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said bitterly. "It's gotten a bit weird. How old are you again, Dwalin? A million? You're far too old to be biting me. I'm a young naive child you should be protecting me."

"A young naive child?" Kili choked out between bursts of laughter.

* * *

Kili and I had talked the whole day. It was peaceful. By midday, our clothes had dried under the bright sun, and my legs were starting to hurt from the constant riding.

At one point I had tried sitting cross-legged on my pony. Luckily for me, Kili noticed me falling well before I did, and came to my aid.

Close to nightfall, we stumbled upon a valley. In the valley, there was a creepy ruined house.

"We'll camp here for the night." Thorin said as he dismounted his pony.

"In a haunted house, grand." I mumbled as I jumped off of my pony. "If Samara doesn't get to me first, the Orcs will." I whispered as I started walking to the house, abandoning Henry to inspect the ruins with Gandalf.

"Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them." Thorin said, and I could hear the two brothers talking to each other somewhere behind me.

As I reached Gandalf, he peered over his shoulder for a moment before looking back at the ruins.

"A farmer and his family used to live here." Gandalf said to himself.

"Same." I said, then groaned. God, 'same' culture was horrible. "Damn it."

"Oin, Gloin, get a fire going." Thorin demanded, and I turned and watched as he startled walking towards Gandalf and myself.

"I think it would be wiser to move on." Gandalf said to Thorin.

"Same." I said, smiling at myself for finally saying same to the right thing.

"We could make for the hidden valley." Gandalf added, turning to look at Thorin.

"I have told you already, I will not go near that place." Thorin hissed.

"Why not?" Gandalf was clearly offended. "The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice."

"Do you reckon Elrond knows I exist?" I asked Gandalf. "I know he exists." I added.

Gandalf and Thorin ignored my question.

"I do not need advice." Thorin spat.

"We have a map that we can not read. Lord Elrond could help us." Gandalf insisted, ignoring me and focusing on Thorin.

"Help?" Thorin's expression grew dark. " A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the elves?"

"Do you know how racist you sound right now?" I asked Thorin, and his eyes flashed to me. I could see his anger growing, and I had started to fear Thorin.

"You know what?" I paused as I stepped away. "I'm going to duck out. This is an A and B conversation, and I'll see myself out."

Neither laughed, and with that, I quickly stalked back towards the rest, most particularly Ori and Bombur.

"Tough crowd." I said to Ori.

It was only a few minutes later that Gandalf stormed past us angrily.

"Everything all right?" Bilbo asked, watching as Gandalf walked past him. "Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." Gandalf said rudely.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, Mr. Baggins." Gandalf yelled.

"Please be sure to come back, Gandalf!" I yelled after him.

"I've had enough dwarves for one day." Gandalf yelled back.

"I don't think he heard me." I said, frowning and looking at Ori.

"Come on, Bombur, we're hungry." Thorin said.

"Is he coming back?" I heard Bilbo ask Balin, and I quickly walked up to them.

"He freaking better." I said to Bilbo.

It wasn't that long after Bombur started making dinner that I found myself half asleep on a log next to Ori. The exhaustion from the night before slowly crept on me, and before I knew it, I had actually started to doze off.

It felt like only seconds later that Ori was nudging me awake, and trying to get my head off of his shoulder.

"What now?" I groaned, rubbing my eyes and yawning.

"Bilbo's gone to get the ponies back from trolls." Kili said, jolting me out of my sleepiness.

"What?" I asked, my eyes shooting open to look at him.

Kili looked clearly annoyed, and looked from myself to Ori for a moment before answering me.

"We told him to hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl if he gets in trouble." Kili said bitterly.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this." I admitted, standing up. "But who's going to hear him when you're here instead of there?"

Kili looked taken aback, and looked to his brother for help. Fili's eyes grew, and he shrugged.

"Oh my god." I groaned, looking around the fire for a weapon.

I quickly grabbing a steak knife from near the fire and without another word, I ran into woods.

"Malia!" Kili yelled after me. He caught up to me, and grabbed my hand to stop me. "You can't just run into the woods by yourself." He said, looking offended about the mere fact of it all.

"Why?" I asked, trying to pull my hand away from his. " 'Cause a troll might get me?" I waved the knife around in my free hand.

Upon seeing it, Kili let go of my hand.

"I might not know him very well. Actually, I just met him a couple days ago. But he's my cousin. I can protect myself." I paused, thinking it through. "Probably." I frowned and then shook my head.

"Have a nice day." I said briskly before sprinting away before Kili could even make a remark about it.

"Bilbo will be fine." I said to myself as I pushed a tree branch out of my way, and started slowing down the closer to what I could only assume was the troll's fire. "I might not be." I added, cringing. "But Bilbo should live, please."

The first troll I had ever heard speak, and what he said was "Make him squeal."

The him I could only assume was Bilbo, and without thinking, I ran out from the cover of the trees.

"That's my cousin!" I yelled, waving the steak knife threateningly.

The trolls stopped for a second, looking at me in confusion. Then they realized, I was food too. I was so surprised by how damn ugly they were, I hadn't moved either. They were huge. God, I had made a really bad choice.

And I had thought Gandalf was large, ha! These trolls were at least twice his size.

Before any of the trolls could move towards me, Kili jumped out from a bush nearby, and began slashing at one of the trolls legs with his sword. Kili spotted me, and once he had harmed the troll enough for it to fall to the ground, Kili made his way towards me.

I had never been so thankful to see Kili before. I even ignored how he blatantly stepped in front of me, protecting me as he yelled at the trolls; "Drop him!"

"You what?" One of the trolls asked.

"I said," Kili paused, twirling his sword around impressively. "Drop him."

"Yea!" I added from behind Kili.

I was going to try twirling my steak knife around, but before I could even try, Bilbo was tossed towards us, knocking Kili into me, and then all of us ending up on the forest floor.

I tried to get up, but stopped for a moment and watched in awe as Thorin and the rest of the company had joined us, and then began attacking the trolls.

They were like an insane fighting team. When I had finally gotten a grasp of what was going on, I saw Kili was attacking another troll, and Bilbo had somehow managed to make his way to the other side of the fire, and was trying to get the ponies out.

I had no clue what to do. I knew bows and arrows, not knives. Let alone a tiny steak knife.

So I did what anyone with a limited skill set would do; I made my way to Bilbo to help him out instead.

"Hurry up!" I whispered at Bilbo, grabbing onto the long troll sword to help him cut the rope.

We smiled at each other when the rope finally broke, and the ponies were let free. I lifted my hand up to offer Bilbo a high five, and I watched Bilbo's eyes grow at the sight of something behind me.

Before I could even turn to look, I had been grabbed by gigantic arms and lifted up.

It was the trolls. The trolls noticed us breaking the ponies free. They had grabbed us both, and it was in that moment I realized how wrong I was.

I couldn't protect myself without a bow. And I was not happy about it. Never in my life had I felt so useless before.

"Malia! Bilbo!" Kili yelled when he noticed us in the Troll's hands.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip theirs off." One of the trolls said, tugging slightly on our arms to prove a point.

Thorin was the first to throw down his sword, although it was quite clear he didn't want to. I watched as anger flashed over Kili's face before he looked back to me, and he finally dropped his sword too.

* * *

"Oh! that's hot, that's hot, that's hot!" Dori yelled, and I frowned as I watched some of the dwarves slowly get turned around on a large log, over a fire.

"Don't bother cooking them, Let's just sit on them and squash them to Jelly!" The cross-eyed troll said, and I looked over at him.

In my mind his name became Edd, like the dim Hyena from Lion King.

"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." The troll wearing an apron said, and once again, instead of feeling more fear, I looked dead into that's trolls eyes and said to myself;

"Gordon Ramsey. Probably." I sighed, looking away from the troll. "Can I just say."

"No." Kili hissed, and I had to crane my neck to see him over Gloin.

"I wanted to say sorry, okay?" I said.

"Eat someone your own size!" Gloin yelled, and I twitched. Man, these dwarves had a temper.

Honestly, same.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night." The third troll, whom I had mentally named, Ringleader Jones, said as he went closer to the spit. "I don't fancy being turned to stone."

I sighed and again craned my neck again to look at Kili, "Like, I get it now. I am helpless on land without a bow, my bad."

"Wait!" Bilbo yelled from the other side of me, startling me so badly I nearly jumped onto Gloin. "You're making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with them, they are half-wits!" Dori moaned from the spit.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur remarked.

I watched Bilbo as he struggled to get up whilst inside his sack. "I meant with the seasoning."

"What?" I asked him, starting to feel slightly offended.

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."

"Traitor!" Bombur screamed.

"Hey!" I yelled too, before I stopped and smelled the air. "Thats… fair, actually."

Man, we all stunk. Although, that might have been the sacks they had put us in.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Ringleader Jones asked.

"Shut up." Gordon Ramsey hissed, getting up from his seat next to the fire and getting closer to Bilbo. "Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk."

"The secret to cooking dwarf is…" Bilbo paused, and I could tell he was making it up as he went along.

"Yes, come on, tell us the secret." Gordon Ramsey said.

"Its uh, yes, I'm telling you, the secret is…" Bilbo inhaled. "To skin them first."

"What? Skin us?" Nori screamed.

"Tom, get me filleting knife." Gordon Ramsey ordered, and I watched with awe as Edd went over and to grab a large knife.

"I'll skin you, you little!" Gloin yelled from beside me, wriggling about like a worm.

"I won't forget that, I won't forget that!" Dwalin added from on the spit.

"What a load of rubbish." Ringleader Jones dismissed. "I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scarf them, I say, boots and all."

"He's right." Edd said, changing directions and coming towards us. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf."

Edd walked right up to us, and grabbed the end of my sack, lifting me up into the air.

I screamed bloody murder of course, and closed my eyes as I felt my hair get blown slightly by Edd's breath. He was going to eat me. I wasn't even fully a dwarf, and he was going to eat me.

"Nice and crunchy." Edd said, and I coughed when I smelled his breath.

"Ew, Ew, god fucking Jesus." I said, closing my eyes tighter.

"Oh no, not that one!" Bilbo yelled. "She's… infected!"

"Huh?" Edd sputtered.

"You what?" Ringleader Jones asked.

"Yeah! She's got worms.. in her.. tubes." Bilbo said.

"Eww!" Edd yelled, and with one quick motion, he tossed me back to the pile. This time, however, I plopped head first onto Kili's chest.

"Malia?" Kili asked, worry drenched in his words.

"Dumbass trolls." I groaned. "I'm not even a flipping dwarf." I paused. "Not fully, at least."

"In fact, they all have. They're infested with parasites. It's a terrible business. I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't." Bilbo continued.

"Parasites? Did he say parasites?" Oin asked.

"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Kili yelled angrily.

"What are you talking about, Laddie?" Oin added.

I felt Kili move, and although I remained clueless to why or how, I had a feeling it was Thorin kicking Kili to shut up, because not a moment later, the dwarves had changed their tune.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm." Oin said.

"Mine are the biggest parasites. I've got huge parasites!" Kili insisted.

I was still face-first in Kili's chest, which if you think about it, was kind of awkward.

But I hadn't been focusing on that. I had been imagining parasites in tubes. And also thinking about that joke in Middle School about the internet being a series of tubes. Don't ask, Middle School was weird.

"We're riddled."

"Yes, I'm riddled." Ori said from the spit.

"What would you have us do, then?" Ringleader Jones asked. "Let them all go?"

"Well…" Bilbo trailed off.

"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!"

"Ferret?" Bilbo muttered, and I could tell it was the most offensive thing he had been called in at least a week.

"Fools?" Gordon Ramsey asked Ringleader Jones.

"The dawn will take you all!" The voice was distant, but I knew it was Gandalf, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god." I grumbled.

"Who's that?" Ringleader Jones asked.

"No idea." Gordon Ramsey remarked.

"Can we eat him too?" Edd piped in.

The next thing I heard was the trolls screaming, and it wasn't before long that we were all out of our bags and safe.


	5. Segment Four and Five

_**I had realized my segments had gotten smaller, so technically this is two segments. I really need to work more on DOS, but as for the Hobbit, there is only one segment left!**_

* * *

It was daybreak of the third day in Middle-earth, and the hunger strike was finally taking a toll on me.

Apples were not a sufficient meal, apparently, and the second we made it to the troll hoard, I nearly threw up. I had no clue what was in my stomach that I could even vomit up, though. Maybe some stomach acid?

"That stench." I groaned, sitting down on a rock nearby.

Everything hurt. My head hurt, my butt hurt. I was about 95% convinced I had a bruise the size of Texas on my bum.

"Are you alright, Malia?" Kili asked, kneeling down beside me.

"Yeah." I insisted. "I mean, my ego is bruised, sure. I don't normally need to be saved that much."

Kili smiled, shaking his head before getting back up and walking over to talk to Fili. I closed my eyes, enjoying a moment of silence.

How I had managed surviving trolls was beyond me. Well, I wish I could say it was beyond me. But I knew, deep down, it was because of Kili. Kili had saved my life.

And so did Bilbo, with his quick remark about my tubes being riddled with parasites. Not sure which tubes he was talking about, but I definitely didn't want to go there with Bilbo.

But Kili, he must've ran off after me into the forest, alone. He attacked three large trolls because I was dumb enough to try to attack them with a steak knife.

He was hot, and he was humble, and I was so screwed. How was I supposed to make it out of this adventure with my heart intact? I hadn't even known I had a heart until I had gotten to Middle-Earth, and now, I was likely to lose it. How shitty is that?

"Lassie." Dwalin said, and I looked at him as he made his way out of the hoard and towards me. "Here."

Dwalin chucked a small bow and quiver at me, and I caught them. As I inspected them, I noticed how beautiful and intricate they were.

"Elvish make, Gandalf reckons you can't get a finer bow than that." Dwalin said, an amused smile falling onto his face. "I'm pretty sure that one was made for a Bairn, though."

I gave him a look as I took the bow from him. "I get it, hobbits are small."

"No, Lassie." Dwalin put his hand on my shoulder, nearly knocking me down. "Bilbo is small. Me asnân tada Mahal duhû kansu tah."  
That was the first time any of the Dwarves had ever spoken Khuzdul at me. And of course, it was Dwalin insulting me. I wasn't sure if I should be happy he felt like he could speak it in front of me, or offended because he definitely was saying something offensive.

"I don't know what that means." I remarked to him as I put the quiver on my back, and held the arrow in my hand. "But I think you're trying to insult me."

Dwalin chuckled, giving me another pat on the back that nearly sent me flying. He then left me and went over to his brother, Balin.

Dwalin was right though, it fit me well. But it was probably made for a child.

"Something's coming!" Thorin yelled, startling me.

"Stay together! Hurry now, arm yourselves!" Gandalf instructed as he left Bilbo's side.

I took a few steps away away from the hoard, moving closer to Kili.

The world began spinning, and I closed my eyes and put my hands out to steady myself.

Just what I needed, really: to be getting sick right before we needed to run away.

"Malia, are you alright?" Kili asked again, and I had a feeling he had gotten closer to me again.

"The world is spinning." I said to him.

I heard Kili groan, and I opened my eyes when I felt his warm hand holding mine. I watched as he took my hand and placed it on his shoulder before arming himself with his bow and motioning for me to follow him.

I followed him through the forest, my grip on his shoulder tightening as we ran.

"Thieves!" I heard a voice cry, and the company stopped, and I ran into Kili.

"Fire, Murder!"

An old man wearing all brown came through the bushes, led by the middle-earth version of an Iditarod team, consisting of all bunnies.

The dwarves held arms up until Gandalf spoke.

"Radagast!" Gandalf motioned to the bizarre new wizard. "It's Radagast the brown." Gandalf walked closer to Radagast. "Well, what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you, Gandalf." Radagast said, and with one swift motion Gandalf led Radagast farther away to speak to him.

I closed my eyes, feeling more faint.

"Malia." Kili said, and I gripped tighter onto his shoulder.

I felt his hand on my cheek, and I opened my eyes to see his face full of concern.

"I'm awake." I grumbled, closing my eyes again.

"Are you now?" Kili asked, before sighing. "Sit down." He said as his hand moved from my cheek to my shoulder, and he lead me to a rock nearby.

"You need to eat something other than apples, Malia." Kili said.

I groaned and let go of his shoulder, putting my hands on my face as I sat down.

"Yeah, I know that…" I said. "Now." I added. "Unfortunately, going from meatless to meat is a lot harder than it sounds. If I eat meat now, I'll get sick and I have a funny feeling we are going to need to run again and I can't be sick and run."

"We don't have anymore apples, Malia." It was Fili this time who spoke, and I tore my hands away from my face to glare at him.

"I'll be fine." I insisted, forcing myself to stand up to prove a point.

Right as I stood, howling echoed through the forest. Bilbo came towards us, fear in his eyes.

"Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?" Bilbo asked, and I watched as his hand tightened on his tiny sword.

"Wolves?" Bofur asked. "No, that is not a wolf."

But in a blink of an eye, wolf-life creatures had defended upon us, and I had to duck as one nearly bit my head off. By the time I was on my feet again, the three wolves had been killed by Thorin, Kili, and Dwalin, respectively.

"Warg scouts." Thorin spat as he yanked his sword out from the skull of the wolf. "Which means an orc pack is not far behind."

If I hadn't been so thoroughly done with my near demise, I probably would've acted the same way Bilbo did.

"Orc pack?" Bilbo asked incredulously, looking at Gandalf and probably near tears.

"Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" Gandalf asked, turning menacingly towards Thorin.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?" Gandalf boomed.

"No one, I swear. What in Durin's name is going on?"

"You are being hunted." Gandalf spat.

"Mmmmmm." Was all I could say. Middle-earth was determined to kill me, apparently.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin insisted.

"We have no ponies." Ori screamed from the upper hill.

It may be a good time to mention that I laugh when I'm nervous. One time my best friend Crystal told me her pet lizard died, and all though I could see how clearly devastated she was, I laughed instead of saying 'I'm sorry for your loss'.

I snorted, and put my hand over my mouth to silence any more noises from my mouth.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast said.

"These are Gundabad Wargs. They will outrun you." Gandalf said rudely.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits." Radagast remarked sassily. "I'd like to see them try."

Radagast had balls, let me tell you. He jumped on his sled and mushed into danger, with nothing but a dozen rabbits.

Somehow, it worked, too. He drew them off enough for us to start running through the valley, hiding behind large boulders at increments.

"Come on!" Gandalf hissed, motioning for us to continue him to the next rock.

I let out a rigid breath, my lungs feeling as though they were on fire.

If it wasn't for Kili firmly placing my hand back on his shoulder and demanding that I 'Look down and watch my step' I probably would've just laid down and let the Orcs take me.

What can I say? I was near delusional hysterics, hadn't eaten enough or slept enough since we had left bilbo's hobbit hole, and now we were running away from Orcs. Orcs on Wargs.

"Thanks." I said, coughing while I tried to keep pace with Kili. "Not that thanks is a strong enough word, really."

"Save your strength." Kili hissed to me as we stopped behind another rock.

"God, you're so attractive." I groaned, looking away from him. I saw Ori looking at me incredulously. "I know, shut up Malia." I added, frowning at Ori and then looking away.

A few seconds later and we were running again, but thankfully we stopped right at the next boulder and hid. Kili pressed me farther into the boulder, and I tried to steady my breath and listen.

There was a Warg somewhere nearby, and I had a feeling he was on top of the rock looking for us.

Thorin looked at us, his eyes flashing from myself to Kili, and then he nodded to Kili. I had no clue what that meant, until Kili slowly raised his hand and grabbed an arrow, readying his bow.

I let go of his shoulder, backing up and nearly stepping on Fili. Fili didn't seem to mind, and we all watched silently as Kili jumped out of the boulder's shadow, and shot an arrow at the Warg.

The Warg fell, screeching as it went. Thorin quickly tried to silence it, but it was too late. The rest of the scouts had heard, and howling echoed though the valley.

"Move, run!" Gandalf yelled, and without thinking I grabbed onto Fili's shoulder for support as we ran.

If Fili was annoyed by this, he made no mention.

"Sorry." I said to him between gasps. "I know you're not Kili. I'd rather it be Kili," I started.

"You actually are mental, aren't you?" Fili asked, and although he wasn't looking at me, I knew he was smiling.

"This way, quickly!" Gandalf demanded, and we ran to the right.

"There's more coming!" Kili yelled, and I looked back to see him a ten feet away, looking at Thorin.

"Kili, shoot them!" Thorin yelled before looking at me.

I quickly took my hand off of Fili's shoulder, assuming it was the physical contact Thorin wasn't liking.

"Malia, shoot!"

"Right." I groaned, taking my bow off of my shoulder and stumbling slightly towards Kili. I stopped five feet behind him and readied my own bow, closing my eyes for a moment and trying not to fall to the ground.

"We're surrounded!" Fili yelled from behind me.

"Hold your ground!" Thorin said, and I opened my eyes and I watched as Kili shot his arrow, killing one of the Orcs.

Kili drew another arrow.

"This way, you fools!" Gandalf bellowed.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and imagining my arrow hitting one of the ugly Orcs. Which was all of them, by the way. They all looked like rotting zombies.

"Quickly, all of you!" Thorin yelled, and I let out another deep breath.

I opened my eyes, and let go of by arrow. I stayed still, watching as it flew into the air, and then directly into the chest of an orc.

"Kili, Malia!" Thorin yelled, and suddenly I saw dark brown hair out of the corner of my eye.

I turned right as Kili grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the rock and pulling me down the hole along with him.

When we reached the bottom, Kili dragged me off of the ground and we backed up and watched Fili and Thorin slide down a lot more gracefully than I had.

"All you alright?" Kili asked, for what was probably the fiftieth time that day.

"Did you see my shot?" I asked him, smiling while trying to catch my breath.

I may have felt like fresh hell, but I had killed an Orc. That was something to celebrate.

"Congratulations, Malia. Orc Slayer." Kili teased, smiling back at me.

Horns blared from the valley we had just left, but I ignored them and turned to the company.

"From now on, I want you all to call me Orc Slayer." I said.

"My dear Malia," Gandalf said, taking a step closer to me. "Do you feel faint? You look dreadful."

"I feel worse than faint." I told him, blinking multiple times as black spots blocked my vision for a moment.

I had wanted to continue to bitch to Gandalf about how ill I felt, but at that very moment an Orc came tumbling down, and it's body tumbled into the back of my legs, nearly knocking my down.

Kili kept me upright, and I gave him a thankful smile as he dragged me a little bit farther away from the Orc.

"Elves." Thorin bent down, inspecting the arrow that was in the Orc.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads." Dwalin said from ahead. "Do we follow it, or no?"

"Follow it, of course." Bofur said, nodding his head and walking to Dwalin.

"I think that would be wise." Gandalf agreed, looking at Thorin with a knowing smirk.

"Do you still want me to guide you, Malia?" Kili asked, letting the other dwarves go ahead of us.

"I think you mean, 'do you still want me to guide you, Orc Slayer'." I said.

Kili raised a brow at me, but didn't move.

"Yes." I said. "Yes, please."

Kili smiled, and grabbed my hand. I had expected him to place it on his shoulder, but he merely held it in his instead.

"Has our friendship leveled up to hand holding?" I teased.

Kili let out a light chuckle, a toothy grin forming on his face as he looked at me. "I have so many questions about that remark."

"Well, go on." I said, smiling back at him. "Ask away."

"First of all, I'm not quite sure what 'leveling up' is intended to mean. Shall I take it to mean growing?"

I nodded.

I should remind you all I hadn't eaten well or slept well in quite a few days. I was at the 'I don't give a fuck' stage in my life. The live fast die young stage.

"And what is our friendship growing into, Orc Slayer?" Kili asked.

"Well, you've saved my life at least three times in the last twenty four hours. I pretty much owe you my life at this point." I shrugged. "You can decide, I suppose."

"How romantic, Malia." Kili said teasingly.

"Romantic?" I whispered. "Nobody said romantic." I added. "I'm not really the romantic type." I admitted. "Or maybe I am. I honestly wouldn't know. I've never bothered."

Kili snorted.

The pathway led us to the most beautiful I had ever seen. Waterfalls cascading down around an elegant castle built into the side of the mountain. Beautiful stone, the castle was made out of.

"The valley or Imladris. In the common tongue, It's known by another name." Gandalf said.

"Rivendell." Bilbo whispered airily.

I hadn't seen so much water in years, and I had to let out a sniffle. God, Rivendell was beautiful. Rivendell was beautiful and I was losing my mind.

"Are you going to cry?" Kili whispered in my ear.

"Rivendell." I said, turning my head to look at him. "Rivers. I never thought I'd see water like this again." I sighed. "Do you think they'll let me swim in it?"

"Swim down waterfalls?" Kili asked, raising a brow as the company started moving down the side of the mountain towards Rivendell.

"I ain't judging your lifestyle." I grumbled, and he rolled his eyes before dragging me down along with him down the mountain. "I killed an Orc." I reminded him, and anyone who could hear me. "I want that river, I think."

I pointed at a smaller river to the north. Kili snorted again.

"Can we name that river 'Malia', Gandalf?" I asked him as he walked past me, to get to the front of the company.

"Keep moving, my dear Malia. You are looking more ill by the second." Gandalf reminded me.

I frowned, glaring at the back of Gandalf's head. Talk about rude.

It didn't take us much longer to reach the bridge to Rivendell, and I could tell by the silence that I must not have been the only hungry, exhausted person in the company.

"Leave the talking to me." Gandalf reminded us as he turned around, giving Thorin in particular a look.

We all stopped in the courtyard, and Kili let go of my hand as we waited for someone to come and greet us.

The Elf that walked down the stairs to us had an extremely graceful, yet stuck up air about him. He kinda had a somewhat sour expression on his face, as though he was sucking a lemon.

"Mithrandir." The elf greeted Gandalf, and giving him a tight-lipped smile.

"Ah, Lindir." Gandalf said, bowing to the elf and simultaneously making me starving for some Lindt chocolate.

Lindir spoke in elvish to Gandalf, and I rolled my eyes.

"I must speak with Lord Elrond." Gandalf insisted, breaking out of elvish.

"My Lord Elrond is not here." Lindir said.

"Not here?" Gandalf frowned. "Where is he?"

Lord Elrond apparently loved making an entrance, for moments after Gandalf asked, horns were being blown, and we all turned and watched as horses raced down the bridge towards us.

Although I had viewed the elves as simply riding towards us, Thorin apparently thought we might be attacked. He yelled in dwarfish, and Kili shoved me behind him, and the other dwarves made a tight circle, with Bilbo, Ori and I in the middle.

The elves continue to circle us, making me even more dizzy than before. Which I hadn't even thought was possible.

"Gandalf." Elrond said, stopping his horse next to Gandalf.

Yet again, Gandalf spoke elvish, leaving us completely out of the conversation. He could've been calling us assholes, and we were none the wiser. The Dwarves remained on guard, and Elrond got off of his horse and hugged Gandalf before turning to look at Thorin.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." Elrond said, bowing lightly.

Some of the Dwarves started to ease up, but Kili still appeared rigid and ready to fight.

"I do not believe we have met." Thorin said coldly.

"You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain." If Elrond had been offended, he didn't act like it.

"Indeed?" Thorin said. "He made no mention of you."

I smacked my head into Kili's shoulder, groaning. Apparently, Lindir wasn't the only one with a stick up his butt.

Elrond smiled, turning and speaking elvish to Gandalf.

"What is he saying?" Gloin demanded, getting ready to fight. "Does he offer us insult?"

"No, Master Gloin." Gandalf shook his head, smiling. "He's offering you food."

Now that perked me up. I lifted my head from Kili's shoulder and smiled.

Food I could deal with.

* * *

"Try it." Dori urged Ori who sat beside him.

Ori held the lettuce leaf as though it might bite him, and carefully turned it in his hand.

"Just a mouthful." Dori continued.

"I don't like green food." Ori said, with such sass that I was kinda proud of him.

"I'll take it." I said, reaching over Kili and grabbing the lettuce from Ori's plate. "Thanks."

Kili chuckled, poking me in the ribs. I jerked, glaring at him as I sat back down in my seat.

The elves had let us clean up before dinner, which meant I had gotten a bath, and about 13 weird looks from she-elves whom didn't understand why I had wanted to continue wearing my weird dirty clothes. I only got them to leave me alone after I had put a dress on over my leggings, but I then put my shirt on over that and they seemed very done with me.

"Where's the meat?" Dwalin asked, grabbing the salad from the middle of the table and looking through it with his bare hands.

"I don't think they have meat." I remarked, looking down at my full plate and the Ori's lettuce in my hand.

I looked up to see Dwalin giving me a tired look.

"Have they got any chips?" Ori asked, looking down the table hopefully.

"I'm going to eat so much." I said, grabbing the salad Dwalin had set back down, and dumping most of it on top of my already full plate.

I felt eyes on me, and looked up to my right side to see Kili with his brow raised, and an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"What?" I said as I took a big bite of Ori's lettuce. "I need one last hurrah before I have to buckle down and eat meat." I paused. "And throw up on someone."

Kili shook his head, his smile growing. "Only you would find this food to be a 'last hurrah'."

"I mean, it's not just the salad." I said as I crammed the rest of Ori's lettuce into my mouth. "The wine is damn good, too."

"Why is she allowed Elvish wine?" Ori asked, looking around Kili to glare at my glass.

"You mean besides the fact that I changed worlds completely?" I asked, grabbing my glass. "I also have to deal with you." I took a sip of wine before frowning. "No offense, of course. You're a lovely Dwarf. I'm sure you'll make a female Dwarf happy someday, or you know…" I had lost track. "…succeed elsewhere in life."

"Perhaps you've had enough wine." Kili said, looking at my glass skeptically with a bemused look on his face.

"I haven't." I said. "But even if I had, I can assure you that telling me I'm cut off, and taking my glass and refusing I have anymore, are two totally different things."

"Theres a story behind that, isn't there?" Fili asked from the other side of me.

"Oh yes." I nodded, keeping my glass in my hand while eating with the other. "My dad tried cutting me off at a wedding. Then he went to talk to family friends, and I merely continued. The night ended with me sleeping on the ground in my dress clothes." I paused. "That was a good night."

"You slept in your dress clothes?" Kili asked, the smile growing on his face.

"Yes. And I was a sight that night." I said, taking another sip of wine. "It was the first wedding we had been invited to since my mom had disappeared, and honestly my dad's side of the family didn't really understand my father or myself very well." I put my glass down, and grabbed a fork to eat. "My dad had bought me a beautiful dress, I had done my hair, I had even worn make-up." I stabbed my salad with my fork. "We were going to show them how normal we were."

"And then you slept in your dress clothes." Kili said.

I nodded. "On the ground." I ate some salad.

"What is make-up?" Kili asked.

"Dreadful." I said. "It makes you look prettier, but god, at what cost?" I asked him.

Kili raised a brow at me, clearly confused.

"It hurts my eyes, it made my face itch, and I felt like an idiot." I paused. "A pretty idiot, but an idiot none the less."

"Aye, I would've said that's how you normally are, Lassie." Dwalin teased from the other side of the table.

"Charming as always, Dwalin." I said to him, taking a vicious bite of my salad.

* * *

Hours later, and many cups of wine, and I was sat on a bench opposite of Kili. Both of our backs were rested on opposite arm rests, and our legs touched as I stretched out.

His boots were off, and I looked at his feet with amusement. They were as big as mine, but the skin less thick, and instead, much hairier.

Kili had been right, someone should've cut me off. Probably about five cups before this point, but I felt happy. I was around friends, they were laughing and joking. Bofur had tossed food at Bombur, and Bombur had broken the bench.

But there was a dark cloud looming over my mind, and my concentration was shot. I couldn't keep being his friend unless I told him the truth.

"Malia." Kili said, nudging my foot with his.

I looked at him and smiled weakly.

"I think I need to tell you something." I whispered, looking around to see if any of the other dwarves were listening. "It'll make you mad, probably. And I'm mad too, and terrified."

"What is it?" Kili asked, concern written on his face.

"In my world, this place; Middle-Earth. It's a story." I exhaled, looking down at my feet. "A book in particular is called 'The Hobbit' and it's about Bilbo Baggins meeting dwarves and taking back Erebor. Only, I'm not in the book, and I didn't actually read them, either. But I know I'm not supposed to exist in this world."

I closed my eyes. "There are some events in the book I know though. Not many, mind you. But I really, really, want to change them. But I'm afraid if I tell anyone, it'll change so much that in the end, it'll still happen somehow. And maybe, me being here has ruined enough already."

Kili reached out, touching my knee gently. I opened my eyes and stared at him. We stared at each other, his thumb gently stroking my knee.

"You being here has not ruined anything, Malia. It may have altered things, but change isn't always bad." Kili's grip on my knee tightened. "I don't know you half as well as I'd like to, but Malia, you're my…" He paused. "…friend."

I nodded my head.

Kili sighed, letting go of my knee before reaching into his pocket.

"I want you to have this. You need it more than I do." Kili said as he pulled a dark rock out of his pocket, and held it out for me to take.

"A rock?" I asked, extending my arm and letting Kili carefully put the rock into my hand.

One hand went under mine, cradling it as the other pushed my fingers around the rock into a fist.

His hands stayed around mine, and we stared at each other.

"A rune-stone. My mother gave it to me." Kili said, keeping his hands around mine. "She didn't even want me to come. I made a promise to her that I would come back."

"Why are you giving it to me?" I asked.

A small smile broke on his face, and he looked down at our hands. "So you remember next time you run willingly into three trolls, that there's someone here in this world that is expecting you to live through this." Kili said.

He let go of my hands, and I brought my hand back towards me, and looked at the rock.

"What does it say on it?" I asked him as I looked down at the rock's engraving.

Kili didn't respond for a moment.

"Return to me." Kili said quietly.

"How…friendly of you." I whispered, feeling the engraving with my fingers.

"Tell me more about your world." Kili said.

"Like what?" I asked as my thumb continued to trail the engraving.

"Anything." Kili said.

"That's too broad." I said, smiling up at him. "If you don't give me a general direction to head in, I'll talk to you about anything, like TSA guidelines at an airport."

Kili snorted, his eyes closing as he nodded. He opened his eyes and looked at me, the smile on his face remaining. "Although I'm sure hearing about the TSA guidelines at an airport would be a riveting tale, tell me about…" He paused, in thought. "Things you really like."

"What if I really like the TSA guidelines?" I teased him. "I mean, I don't."

Kili snorted.

"But I could." I said, smiling and shaking my head. "Actually, I couldn't. I don't even remember what TSA stands for. Something dumb, probably."

Kili laughed, his hand going back to my knee and resting there. The warmth from his hand radiated, and made me feel giddy.

"Things I like…" I thought about it.

But for some reason, being there amongst all the dwarves, Kili across from me with his hand on my knee, I couldn't think of anything from my world I liked.

"At least sing me another song from your world." Kili insisted, his thumb gently brushing my knee.

Kili was the only person I had ever so willingly sang songs for.

 _"In the middle of the night,_  
 _I go walking in my sleep,_  
 _From the mountains of faith,_  
 _To the river so deep,_

 _I must be looking for something,_  
 _Something sacred I lost,_  
 _But the river is wide,_  
 _And it's too hard to cross,_

 _Even though I know the river is wide,_  
 _I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore,_  
 _I try to cross to the opposite side,_  
 _So I can finally find out what I've been looking for,_

 _In the middle of the night_  
 _I go walking in my sleep,_  
 _Through the valley of fear,_  
 _To the river so deep,_

 _I know I'm searching for something,_  
 _Taken out of my soul,_  
 _Something I'd never lose,_  
 _Something somebody stole,_

 _I don't know why I go walking at night,_  
 _But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore,_  
 _I hope it doesn't take me the rest of my life,_  
 _Until I find what it is I'm looking for,_

 _In the middle of the night,_  
 _I go walking in my sleep,_  
 _Through the jungle of doubt,_  
 _To the river so deep,_

 _I know I'm searching for something,_  
 _Something so undefined,_  
 _That it can only be seen,_  
 _By the eyes of the blind,_  
 _In the middle of the night,_

 _I'm not sure about a life after this,_  
 _God knows I've never been a spiritual man,_  
 _Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river,_  
 _That is running to the promised land,_

 _In the middle of the night,_  
 _I go walking in my sleep,_  
 _Through the desert of truth,_  
 _To the river so deep,_

 _We all end in the ocean,_  
 _We all start in the streams,_  
 _We're all carried along,_  
 _By the river of dreams,_  
 _In the middle of night."_

"Your songs never cease to amaze me." Kili admitted, smiling and looking down at his hand that was on my knee. "What do you think he was looking for?"

I sighed, and I felt my cheeks redden. "I always thought it was love." I looked down at my hands and at the rune-stone.

* * *

The next day we left bright and early. So early, the sun hadn't even have come up yet. Apparently, the elves were going to try and stop us, so we left before they could.

We made for the mountain pass, which from what I had remembered of the Lord of the Rings, should have been cold and full of snow. But it would seem that there are more than one mountain pass, because this one was merely stormy and slightly cold.

The storm grew worse as we walked, and by the time we were on a narrow cliff-pathway, it was almost like a hurricane.

Bilbo had it the worst. While I was accustomed to water being in my eyes and disturbing my vision, Bilbo was not.

At one point, he nearly fell off of the cliff. Talk about traumatizing for all of us.

"We must find shelter!" Thorin bellowed.

I squinted to look back at him, and had to bite my tongue from yelling a snarky remark back. Like, obviously we had to find shelter. We weren't that dimwitted.

"Look out!" Dwalin yelled from in front, and I whipped back around to look at him.

"Hold on!" Kili yelled, grabbing my waist and nearly body slamming me into the mountain as it shook.

His warmth enveloped, and suddenly I felt more safe than I had before.

"This is no thunderstorm." Balin yelled. "It's a thunder battle, look!"

I peered around Kili's shoulder, and my eyes grew when I saw what he meant.

The mountains had turned into freaking things. Rock things.

"Well bless me, the legends are true. Giants, stone giants!" Bofur gasped.

Fine. Giant stone…giants. Things.

"Take cover you fool." Thorin yelled, yanking Bofur back away from the edge by his hood.

Everything took an even worse turn when the mountain underneath us started to move, too.

The ground beside Fili and I broke, and half of me nearly fell down the crack. I gripped onto Kili tighter as he pulled me up, and I could hear Thorin on Fili's side screaming Kili's name.

Not mine, however. Rude, really. Dwalin was on our side too, but his name wasn't yelled either.

At this point, I merely closed my eyes and tried not to scream bloody murder in Kili's ear as I gripped onto him tighter, and I was probably squeezing the life out of him. He didn't seem to mind thankfully, and kept me in his arms. I started humming manically trying to calm myself down.

We were going on the Middle-Earth version of an unsafe carnival ride, worrisome operators and all.

Don't ask me how, but somehow, we ended up safe. At one point in time Kili pretty much lifted me up and jumped whilst carrying me, but as I said before, I was once again pretending to not exist. A hobby of mine, really.

I was humming a really cheesy song my dad used to sing.

But something told me singing "Hold On Tight" by ELO wasn't appropriate at that point.

Fili ran to Kili, and Kili let go of me to man-hug his brother. I couldn't blame him, either. I wanted to man-hug Bilbo, but the second I looked around for him, Bofur yelled;

"Where's Bilbo? Where's the hobbit?"

I looked down, and spotted Bilbo hanging by his hands, dangling on the edge. Without thinking, I lunged to him, grabbing one of his hands and trying to pull.

Unfortunately for both of us, I'm not that strong, and his other hand lost its grip and I had to use my free hand to grab the edge too.

Thorin grabbed my hand before I could fall anymore, and he helped me and Bilbo up with Kili and Fili's help. Thorin nearly fell down too, and once he got up, he was very disheveled and angry.

"I thought we'd lost our Hobbits." Dwalin said relieved.

"Bilbo has been lost ever since he left home." Thorin said, glaring at Bilbo. "He should never have come." Thorin's gaze turned to me. "Either of them. They have no place amongst us."

I don't know how I had gotten on Thorin's piss-list, but I had ignored it. People say stupid shit when they are overwhelmed and scared. I would know, considering my general reaction to someone being rude to me is to call them the first profane word I can think of.

I mean yeah, it sucked to have Thorin say I shouldn't have come, and I had no place with them, but I mean honestly. My dad used to get angry all the time and say shit he didn't mean.

Maybe it was a dwarf thing.

Thorin stalked away from us and to a dip in the mountain-side. "Dwalin!"

Dwalin followed him in what must've been a cave.

Silence spread in the company as Thorin and Dwalin searched the cave. As Dwalin reached to look farther in back, Thorin beckoned us inside.

"There's nothing here." Dwalin said as the last of us filled in.

"Right then. Let's get a fire started." Gloin said as he dropped his bag, pulling firewood out of it.

Why he had chosen to carry firewood was beyond me. But, I tried not to question Gloin.

"No, no fire." Thorin dismissed. "Not in this place. Get some sleep. We start at first light."

I watched as Balin moved closer to Thorin, and they began whispering amongst each other.

I rolled my eyes, plopping myself down and taking my bag off.

"How are you feeling, Malia?" Kili asked as he sat down next to me.

"I'm fine." I said. "Happy that we aren't going to continue down the mountain during a thunder-battle."

Kili smiled slightly. "Thorin didn't mean it. You belong with us."

"I know." I said smiling back at him. "He's just cranky." I sighed.

"What was that song you were humming?" Kili asked as he took his hood off, and smiled at me as he gently pulled mine off too.

"Hold on tight." I said, watching as his smile grew.

"How fitting." He teased. "How does it go?"

"Hold on tight to your dream, hold on tight to your dream," I smiled as I looked away from him and down at the Lambras bread.

 _"When you see your ship go sailing,_  
 _when you feel your heart is breaking,_  
 _hold on tight to your dream._

 _It's a long time to be gone_  
 _Time just rolls on and on_  
 _When you need a shoulder to cry on_  
 _When you get so sick of trying_  
 _Hold tight to your dream_

 _When you get so down that you can't get up_  
 _And you want so much but you're all out of luck_  
 _When you're so downhearted and misunderstood_  
 _Just over and over and over you could."_

I paused for a moment, saying, "It goes into french for a bit, so I'm going to skip that out and avoid offending a whole country."

Kili chuckled.

 _"When you get so down that you can't get up_  
 _And you want so much but you're all out of luck_  
 _When you're so downhearted and misunderstood_  
 _Just over and over and over you could_

 _Hold on tight to your dream_  
 _Hold on tight to your dream_  
 _When you see the shadows falling_  
 _When you hear that cold wind calling_  
 _Hold on tight to your dream_  
 _Hold on tight to your dream_  
 _Hold on tight to your dream."_

"And what dream were you holding on tight to?" Kili asked.

I sighed, looking at him. I couldn't tell him, could I?

"It doesn't matter." I remarked dismissively.

His face fell slightly, and he cleared his throat and nodded.

"Do you reckon you'll sleep?" Kili asked, taking his bow and quiver off.

"I think I should try." I said, shrugging and looking away from him.

Kili put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. I looked at him and he and smiled at me. "Have a good rest."

"You too." I said, carefully wrapping the lambras bread up and then back into my bag.


	6. Segment Six

_**I had wanted to post this sooner, but I was in the hospital for four days. I'm still very ill, but here it is, the finale of The Hobbit. It'll be a few days before the first of DoS comes out, because I'm still editing that. Cheers.**_

* * *

I had fallen asleep fast in that cave next to Kili, surrounded by my dwarf friends. I was even reluctant to wake up when I heard Thorin screaming.

"Wake up!"

But the falling, and the tumbling and the rolling, now that made me wake up. We slid down a horrifying slide, and we all fell into a cave full of Goblins. The cave was full of shoddy made bridges and pathways that had been carved into the mountain. By Ugly, disgusting, tiny, Goblins.

The company was yelling, swearing, and trying to pull away from the goblins, myself included. If I hadn't bumped my head on the way down, I would've thought I was dreaming.

I remember hearing Gloin yell, "Filthy scum!"

Which was completely accurate. The goblins looked disgusting, and keep grabbing at me as they lead us farther into their weird catacomb. With rotting teeth and yellow eyes, they were creatures of a doctor's nightmare.

"I won't forget this, I won't!" Dwalin yelled.

Which was apparently his go-to phrase.

"Get your hands off of her!" Kili yelled from beside me, and I looked at him to see him struggling against his own goblins to get to me.

I wanted to reach out for him, but another goblin shoved me.

Talk about dorky, right? God. I had never thought I'd see the day I'd want someone to be closer to me like that. Weird.

"Stop pushing me!" I finally yelled, trying to push the goblin back.

They finally stopped pushing us and let us near each other once we were in front of a throne. On that throne was a gigantic, even grosser, Goblin. He wore a crown, so it was pretty safe to assume he was the king.

"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my Kingdom?" The Goblin King asked, using a pile of Goblins as a footstool and stepping on them to stand up.

"Spies? Thieves?" He asked, looking around at all of us. "Assassins?"

His large neck jiggled as he turned, and I had to put my hand on my mouth to stop myself from puking.

Kili stood his ground in front of me protectively.

"Dwarves, your malevolence." The pushy goblin said.

Sir Pushes, I named him in my mind.

"Dwarves?" The Goblin King said, raising a brow at Sir Pushes.

"We found them on the front porch." Sir Pushes nodded.

"Well, don't just stand there. Search them!" The Goblin King ordered, sitting back down on his throne.

The Goblins closed in on us, grabbing our weapons and throwing them into a pile. Kili tried to keep them away from me, but honestly I didn't want himself to get killed trying to stop them.

"Take it, you Douche-Canoe, Sir Pushes." I said as I took my bow and quiver off of my back, and threw then at him. When Sir Pushes turned his back to add it to the pile, I tossed my bag at his head too.

From in front of me on the other side of Kili, Dwalin chuckled. Why Dwalin was in front of me protecting me too was another story.

Maybe he felt responsible for me because he met me first? Who knows.

"What are you doing in these parts?" The Goblin King asked.

No one answered, and by now, we all had a massive stink-eye for the Goblin King. I mean, major shade was being thrown.

"Speak!" He bellowed, waiting for a response.

He smiled. "Very well. If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk!" The goblins cheered. "Bring up the mangler. Bring up the bone-breaker. Start with the youngest."

The Goblin King pointed at me, and I frowned.

"Wait!" Thorin yelled, and I felt him nudge me out of the way.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. King under the mountain."

I had no clue why going that far back in your lineage was customary.

The Goblin King got up from his seat, and mockingly bowed to Thorin.

"Oh, but I'm forgetting something. You don't have a mountain, and you're not king…" The Goblin King smiled. "Which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head. Nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak."

I hadn't.

"An old enemy of yours." The Goblin King continued.

Oh, never mind. I knew.

"A pale Orc, astride a white Warg."

I looked at Thorin, and saw his glare growing more intense.

"Azog the defiler was destroyed." Thorin said. "He was slain in battle long ago."

"So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" The Goblin King asked, before turning to look at an imp goblin who was on a swing. "Send word to the pale orc. Tell him I have found his prize."

The imp nodded, let out a shrill cackle, then swung off.

The Goblin King then turned back to us, his smile growing. "Bring out the mangler, bring out the bone-breaker!"

The goblins cheered, and I felt my stomach drop as the Goblin King smiled at me. He still intended on starting with me.

"Bones will be shattered!" The Goblin King started to sing. "Necks will be wrung."

"Kili." I whispered, grabbing his hand and holding it. "Thank you."

His hand was warm in mine, and holding it made me feel better.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." Kili whispered back, squeezing my hand tighter.

"You'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung!"

"We might be fine, you're right." I said, bringing my head close to his, standing on the tip of my toes. "But if we aren't, just." I paused, letting out a deep breath. "You were the dream I was holding on tightly to." I groaned. "God, that makes no sense, does it? I like you, okay? Yikes. I apologize on the behalf of my dumb emotions."

God, that has got to be the most disgustingly romantic thing I had ever said in my life. And it ended with me saying yikes, and then apologizing.

I hadn't heard the rest of the Goblin Kings song, because I was too busy staring at Kili. He was looking at me as though I had laid an egg, and to be fair, I kind of had.

Not literally, mind you.

The Goblins suddenly all started screaming, and our attention was brought back to them.

"I know that sword!" The Goblin King started pointing at a sword in our pile. "It is the Goblin-Cleaver! The Biter, the blade that sliced 1000 necks!" The Goblin King grew furious. "Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Cut off his head!"

Before any of the Goblins could react, a blinding white light shuttered through the caverns, and shook us all. I stumbled back, Kili's hand holding tighter onto mine as I nearly ran into Ori.

A bunch of the Goblins were pushed off the landing we were on, and many of the Goblins that had been watching us had stumbled and fallen on the ground or off of their landings.

I blinked, trying to see who it was, or what was happening. Slowly, the light started to dim.

"Take up arms!" It was Gandalf at the other side of the light. "Fight, Fight."

Kili dropped my hand at Gandalf's words. The company seemed renewed, and with Gandalf on our side, we were able to grab our weapons and start fighting.

I held my bow, and arrow ready to shoot as we ran.

"Malia, stay with me." Kili demanded as we all ran down a path.

Kili had his sword out, slashing down a few goblins who came into our path.

"Follow me, quick!" Gandalf bellowed, and we quickly ran down another bridge.

"Run!" Thorin yelled.

We ran down countless bridges, and I tripped nearly twenty times. Every time I tripped Kili stopped and looked back, and didn't start running until I was right behind him again.

Ropes were cut, and bridges knocked down.

When Kili had to start using his sword as a shield, I groaned and looked around.

"Kili, the ladder." I hissed, whacking him in the stomach with my arm.

He turned to me slightly, and smiled.

As I grabbed one side of the ladder, he grabbed the other, and we brought it down and in front of us, using it as a sort of Javelin and knocking Goblins off the side and pushing them down with it. We then dropped it, and Kili quickly used it to step across a broken bridge.

I jumped, one foot pushing off of the middle rung before I was back in the air. Kili opened his arms, grabbing me and holding me until I was back on my feet before we started running again.

And then we were down even more bridges, killing even more Goblins.

Just when we thought we had escaped, the Goblin King stopped us on another bridge.

God, I was getting tired of his gross face.

"You thought you could escape me?" The Goblin King chuckled, looking at Gandalf who was in front. "What are you going to do now, Wizard?"

Gandalf struck the Goblin King with his staff, stabbing him in the eye before slashing his stomach open.

"That'll do it." The Goblin King said, falling to his knees and breaking the bridge with his weight.

The bridge underneath us gave way, and we all went falling down to the bottom of the cave. The Goblin King landed on our wreck, and we all groaned.

* * *

Gandalf continued leading us out of the cave, and we continued running, even once we were out.

At one point, Kili whispered to me; "We will have words later, Malia."

My dad had said something similar to that when I was 15 and had gotten in trouble, and those words were that I was grounded, so I wasn't really looking forward to the conversation.

Similarly, none of my relationships on earth had worked out well. Then again, that could be because I'm apparently only truly romantically interested in dwarves.

But Kili kept at near my side, even when we stopped.

"Where is Bilbo?" Gandalf asked as we stopped and looked around at all of us. "Where is our hobbit?"

Dwalin groaned. "Curse that halfling, now he's lost?"

"Hey!" I said, frowning at Dwalin for trashing my cousin.

"I thought he was with Dori." Gloin said.

"Don't blame me!" Dori yelled.

"Well, where did you see him last?" Gandalf asked Dori.

"I think I saw him slip away when they first collared us." Nori pipped in.

"And what happened, exactly?" Gandalf asked as he turned to look at the disheveled Nori.

Nori's eyes grew.

"Tell me!" Gandalf yelled.

"I'll tell you what happened." Thorin hissed. "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He had thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing that hobbit again. He is long gone."

"He's not!" I said, frowning as all eyes turned to me. "Although, can't say I blame him for wanting to though. I mean, could you be any more rude to him?" I paused. "Don't answer that, 'cause I have a feeling you could be more rude."

"I'm not long gone." Bilbo appeared out of no where.

"Bilbo Baggins, I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life." Gandalf said as he smiled at Bilbo.

"Bilbo, we'd given you up." Kili said from beside me, and I watched a relieved smile grew on his face.

"How on earth did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked.

"How, indeed." Thorin said.

Gandalf looked wearily at Bilbo. "Well, what does it matter? He's back."

"It matters, I want to know." Thorin said, and I watched as Gandalf threw Thorin some shade. "Why did you come back?

"Look." Bilbo sighed. "I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right. I often think of Bag-End. I miss my books. And my armchair, and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, because…" Bilbo smiled sadly. "You don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can."

I smiled at Bilbo, and some of the Dwarves cheered.

But we hadn't even caught our breath when howls echoed on the hillside. The same howls we had heard in the Hidden Valley, or whatever it had been called. The same Warg howls.

"Out of the frying pan." Thorin said as he looked around gravely.

"And into the fire." Gandalf finished before looking at us. "Run!"

Kili grabbed my hand, and ran down the hillside with me at his side.

I turned my head as we ran, and saw Bilbo right behind us. I let out a sigh of relief. I was going to need to keep a keener eye on Bilbo, because he had a habit of disappearing.

Fili, who was in front of us, noticed the dilemma before we did. He stopped, turning back at us, his eyes wide.

"Up into the trees!" Gandalf yelled as he started climbing up the tree at the edge of the cliff. "All of you! Come on, climb!"

Kili let go of my hand as we began climbing up the tree. Once he got high enough he pulled me up to his branch, his arms going wrapping around me a he held onto the tree trunk on the other side of me.

We watched as the rest of the company began climbing the trees too.

Wargs descended down the cliff towards us, being led by whom I could only assume was Azog. Astride a white Warg, damn. That Goblin king knew his shit.

"Malia, listen." Kili whispered in my ear, his warm breath on my neck.

I held onto the tree trunk. "Now isn't the time, Kili."

I had already been reeling in the fact that I had pretty much professed my beyond attraction for Kili and then survived. It was already too awkward. I didn't want to be let down before I died, you know?

Azog yelled in a language I couldn't understand, ordering the Wargs to attack the trees. I gripped onto the tree trunk even tighter, watching as the Wargs around us started attacking the other trees so violently, they were beginning to be uprooted.

"You are my dream too." Kili whispered in my ear.

"What?" I sputtered, my head turning so fast to look at him, I nearly head-butted him.

Kili smiled at me, raising a brow slightly at my astonished expression.

The howls from the Wargs caught Kili's attention. He looked down and frowned. "We must move."

The dwarves in the other trees had started jumping onto ours, and ours grew even more unsteady. Within seconds, we were all forced to jump onto Gandalf's tree.

I watched in horror as the Wargs started circled our new tree, getting ready to uproot this one completely.

"Fili!" Gandalf yelled, and I looked beside me to Fili who caught a burning pinecone that Gandalf had dropped for him. I smiled and watched as Gandalf threw a pinecone, the Wargs getting forced back from the fire.

As more pinecones were thrown, the Wargs were forced to retreat, and I heard the company start cheering. I looked at Kili beside me and smiled at him.

Our victory was too short-lived. The tree was too damaged, and started falling off the cliffside. It ended up with all of us nearly dangling off the cliff, the tree enough on the cliff to not fall.

I held onto the trunk of the tree again, looking at Kili who held onto the other side of the trunk next to Fili. They were safe, so I turned my attention to the rest of the company.

Thorin had gotten up heroically, walking down the trunk towards the cliffside where Azog waited.

"Thorin!" I yelled, gripping onto the trunk tighter.

Thorin must've had a death wish. He went to face off Azog by himself.

I knew I had to do something, and I started trying to climb up the trunk.

"Malia, what are you doing?" Kili asked as I set my feet on the trunk, getting ready to walk.

"My damn best." I whispered, jumping to my feet and running down the trunk before he could stop me.

I stopped at the tree's base when I heard footsteps, and looked to see Bilbo behind me. I nodded to him and he nodded back, his sword in his hand. I grabbed my bow from over my shoulder and we both ran together, and lunged ourselves at the Orc who stood near Thorin.

The Orc fell to the ground with us, and then easily over threw us. I grabbed an arrow from my quiver and didn't even try to shoot it. Apparently I was past that, because I merely stabbed him in the eye as Bilbo slashed at his arms.

The Orc crumpled, and I scrambled to my feet. I turned to face Azog as Bilbo got up. The other Orcs were beside Azog, and they all looked furious with us for standing between them and Thorin.

But Bilbo and I continued to hold out ground, both scared out of our pants. Bilbo slashed at the air menacingly, and I slowly grabbed another arrow and readied my bow, although I was unsure who I should've been aiming it at.

I let out a deep breath as I prepared myself. The Wargs were running towards us, and I was starting to think about what I would want written on my grave stone.

Probably something like, "I tried."

I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I smiled as Kili, Fili, and Dwalin all came running, ambushing the Wargs.

That left us with one Warg, and I quickly shot the orc in the chest. I was about to grab another arrow when something large was thrown at me, and I fell to the ground. I flinched, trying to get the thing off of me, only to notice it was Bilbo.

I wanted to snap at Bilbo for messing me up, but I couldn't. Not when the pale orc was slowly riding to us.

A loud caw came from up in the air. I looked up, and smiled as I saw a large eagle descend. It grabbed one of the wargs and tossed it over the cliffside. Azog stopped in his tracks and watched as the rest of his gang was getting tossed around like mice.

The Eagles had come to rescue us.

Azog turned his back to us, preparing to flee. I leaped up onto my feet, grabbing an arrow and readying my bow as fast as I could. I let out a deep breath, trying to stop my hands from shaking.

I let the arrow go, and frowned when it hit Azog's arm instead of his chest. Which, only pissed him off more and he turned back to look at us, ready to continue to try to kill us.

Eagles descended upon Bilbo and I, grabbing us up with their claws and then dropping us. Bilbo and I landed on the same eagle's back, and I looked around at the other eagles. I let out a relieved sigh when I saw Fili and Kili.

"Thank god." I groaned, panting and then laying back on the Eagle

I looked at Bilbo and he looked back, and we smiled at each other.

* * *

The eagles carried us all night, and only finally started to descend when the sun came up. I watched as the Eagles dropped Thorin first, and then Gandalf dismounted his Eagle and ran to Thorin.

By the time Bilbo and I had landed, Thorin was awake. Kili and Fili were at his side.

"The halflings?" Thorin asked as he looked at Gandalf.

"It's all right." Gandalf said, moving slightly to let Thorin see us. "Bilbo and Malia are here. They're quite safe."

Kili grew closer to Thorin, as did Dwalin. They both helped Thorin to his feet.

"You two!" Thorin said, pointing at us.

The man hadn't even gotten the strength to stand on his own and he was already ready to scold us.

"What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!" Thorin said as he slowly started walking towards us. "Did I not say you two would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild?"

Thorin stopped right in front of us, still looking angry. "That you had no place amongst us?"

Thorin threw his arms around us, hugging us. "I have never been so wrong in all my life."

I looked over Thorin's shoulder to see Kili and Fili smiling at me, and the rest of the company cheering.

"But I'm sorry I doubted either of you." Thorin added, letting us go.

"No, I would have doubted me too." Bilbo said.

"I did doubt myself, so that's fair." I added, shrugging.

"I'm not a hero, or a warrior, or an Orc Slayer." Bilbo gave me a pointed look before continuing. "Not even a burglar."

Thorin looked behind us, and smiled. Bilbo turned as well, and gasped.

"Is that what I think it is?" Bilbo asked, slowly following Thorin to the side of the cliff.

The others came towards us as well, and without thinking I threw my arms around Kili. He hugged me back before we let go of each other.

Hell, even Fili was happy to see me alive. Fili smiled and patted me on the back, which felt more like he was trying to give me the Heimlich.

Dwalin was the next one to come up to me, and he roughly put his hand on my back before bringing me in for a hug. Which, I really hadn't expected from him.

"Thank you Lassie, for helping Thorin." Dwalin said as he let go of me, smiling down at me.

I was flabbergasted by his words, so I did what I normally did in awkward situations, I resorted to sarcasm.

"You're very welcome, Dwalin. 'Cause you know, I did it all for you." I said to him.

He snorted and rolled his eyes at me.

"You are a piece of work, Lassie." Dwalin said.

I snorted, and Dwalin gave me a friendly wink before leaving me and going over to Thorin.

But it didn't matter, because I was surrounded by my dwarf friends. And all though the path we had was still long, and it wasn't even halfway done, I felt more confident than I had so far.

We would get through it, I knew it. We had to.


	7. Segment Seven Part One

_**This chapter is brought to you by my Colon, who's still making me ill. Thanks, asshole.**_

* * *

The eagles may have flown for a whole night, but by the end of the day, the pack of Orcs were already on our tail. It was a horrible day, to be honest. No one really talked, and it was just sort of awkward.

I had told Kili I had liked him, and he said he had liked me too, but then it was silence on the airways, really.

We all ran the whole day, and still the Orcs still had nearly caught up to us.

Come nightfall Bilbo was pushed to check how close they were, while Gandalf, the Dwarves, and I waited for him.

Kili and I hadn't talked yet about anything, and while we all quietly waited for Bilbo to tell us the news, Kili stared at me. He had been staring at me all day, really. But now it was just getting a bit too annoying.

"What?" I asked him in a hushed tone, frowning as I looked around to see if anyone was watching us.

Ori was, but Ori always seemed to be watching me at the worst moments. I frowned at Ori and he shrugged. I half expected him to look away, but he still watched Kili and I. What a weirdo.

Kili didn't respond, but merely continued staring at me. And I knew Kili wasn't going to stop staring at me until we talked, so I groaned and looked around again.

"We'll be, like, a minute." I whispered to Fili who was on the other side of me. "Three tops."

"I really don't want to know." Fili said as he raised his brows at me, then looked at his brother before rolling his eyes.

"Well, I-" I began, but Kili grabbed my hand and dragged me farther away from the group, and behind a few trees.

I stared at him, waiting for him to talk.

Kili sighed. "What did you mean by, 'You're my dream'?"

I frowned, looking away and thinking.

I could tell him the truth. That somehow during the last week of my life, I had started to seriously like him. Or I could lie. I mean, it had to be obvious though, right? It's not like I liked the truth that much myself either. Like come on now, Malia. How lame can you get to fall in love?

"Malia." Kili said, his free hand gently caressing my cheek as his hand pulled my face so I'd have look at him again.

God, what a hottie. Ugh.

"I meant what I said, geez." I said, slightly hostile.

What can I say? I don't know how to function like an actual person in romantic situations. Not without lashing out weirdly.

"I romantically like you, or whatever. It's… whatever." I continued, shrugging and trying to avoid looking into Kili's eyes.

Kili didn't speak, and I still didn't have the heart to look at him.

I was exhausted, and honestly, very pessimistic. I mean really, Kili with me? I was just about the least female thing ever. The dress that the elves had given me was in the most shitty condition ever, and I swore like a sailor. He deserved better. He deserved a real Dwarf woman, with Dwarf-knowledge and wit, and those other things I didn't have much of.

I pulled away from him, and his hand fell off of my cheek. But he didn't let go of my hand.

And when I pulled more, he yanked me back into his strong arms. I raised a brow at him, trying to figure out what he was doing.

Kili didn't even hesitate, he merely smiled that dumb toothy grin, his face lighting up as he brought his face to mine and gently placed his lips against mine.

I'm not going to mince words. Kili's kisses are the bee's knees. I know, sorry.

Mind you, I had been kissed before. It never was the most pleasant though. It was normally more or less an awkward situation for everyone involved. The first guy I had kissed, Scott, stopped talking to me after I made a weird joke after we kissed. I was 15 and nervous, I'm not sure what he had expected.

Probably not a pun stemming from a song from the 80's, though.

Kili pulled away from me, and I stared at him in awe and confusion.

I was actually silenced. Stunned to silence from the fact that I could still feel how gently his lips pressed against mine. How right it felt, and how weird that was to me. I had never kissed someone and thought, 'Yeah, I'd like to do that again.'

"Was that crossing a line?" Kili asked as he looked down at me, clearly unable to read how I felt.

"I mean," I paused, smiling. "Yes."

Kili's face fell.

"It was a good line to cross, though." I quickly spat out.

Kili's smile returned, and he brought his hand up to brush the hair out of my face.

Although part of me really didn't want this to end ever, I still spoke up.

"We need to return to the company." I said.

"Right." Kili cleared his throat, a neutral expression dawning on his face as he stepped away from me, letting go. "As you were." He motioned for me to go back.

I tilted my head at him, raising a brow. He looked me up and down then winked, and I rolled my eyes.

"As you were." I retorted, and I turned and started heading back to the company, Kili right behind me.

The first words I heard when we got in earshot of the company was Gandalf saying;

"Neither."

I quietly snuck in, slinking past Bofur to stand next to Fili.

"He will help us or… he will kill us." Gandalf said, sighing.

"Huh?" I choked.

"What choice do we have?" Nori asked, giving me a weird glance before looking back at Gandalf.

In the distance a creature roared, and Gandalf's frown grew. "None."

And we were back to running. To a house, apparently. And we ran, and ran. Through rivers, and over hills, and down hills. All night and all the next day, with very few breaks. The few breaks we did have consisted of me trying to catch my breath and drink as much was as possible. I drank out of very dodgy rivers, but I mean. When in Rome, right?

We ran as fast as we could to the house. I didn't dare turn around, especially when I heard the roars get closer behind us.

We continued running through gates, and only stopped after the door of the house was shut and the beast was on the other side, scratching at the door.

"What is that?" Ori asked as he looked at the door.

"That is our host." Gandalf said, looking exhausted.

"I'm sorry," I blinked. "What?"

I had felt like I had missed something. Honestly, story of my life in Middle-Earth.

"His name is Beorn. And he's a skin changer. Sometimes he's a huge black bear. Sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable."

"As bears typically are." I threw in, nodding as if I knew what was going on.

I didn't.

Gandalf sighed. "But the man can be reasoned with. However, he is not overfond of dwarves."

Ori pressed his ear to the door. "He's leaving."

"Come away from there." Dori snapped, grabbed Ori's arm and pulling him away. "It's not natural. None of it."

Gandalf turned and gave a pointed look at Dori.

"Its obvious he's under some… dark spell." Dori continued.

"Don't be a fool. He's under no enchantment but his own." I could tell Gandalf was as exhausted as we were. "All right now, get some sleep. All of you. You'll be safe here tonight."

* * *

"Should we be stealing food from a bear?" I asked Bombur as I watched him cook wearily. "That sounds like a breach. We've already ambushed his house."

"Shut up Lassie. Eat." Dwalin said as he grabbed bowl of stew and shoved it at me.

"Charming as always, Dwalin." I said to him dryly, taking the bowl and walking away from him.

I heard him laugh behind me, but I continued on until I found a corner in the dinning room and sat in it, on the floor. Alone.

Dwalin had given me meat. He wanted to kill me, apparently. That was his way of saying thanks for saving his king, by killing me.

"What are you doing over here?" Kili asked, raising a brow at me, his own bowl of stew in his hands.

"Trying to find the courage to eat meat." I said to him.

"It's only," Kili started, but I cut him off.

"Please don't tell me what animal is in this stew." I said to him, lifting the spoon out of the bowl and looking at the stew.

Kili sighed, and sat down in front of me. "I can see this is very hard for you."

"Ten years." I said to him. "I haven't eaten meat in ten years. The proteins in my body need to relearn how to break down meat. It's not going to be fun."

I felt Kili's eyes on me, but I didn't look at him, and instead kept looking at the stew.

"You need to eat it, Malia." Kili said. "If you don't, I'll be forced to take drastic measures."

I finally looked up at him, a smile growing on my face as I saw the twinkle in his eyes. "Drastic measures?"

"Aye." He nodded. "I'll force feed you the whole bowl, if I have to."

"If you do that I'll probably throw up on you." I said to him.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." Kili said. "So what will it be?"

I looked down at the stew, scooping some up in my spoon and slowly bringing it to my mouth.

I'm not going to lie, it tasted good. Whatever meat it was, it wasn't bad. Bombur was a good cook, that explained the weight.

Kili watched me eagerly.

"It's not going to affect me right away, Kili." I said to him. "It's not the eating itself I'm worried about…" I paused. "…it's the digesting."

Kili snorted. I watched him eat as I continued to eat my stew.

"You never told me why you don't have braids." I said to him.

"Do I need to have braids?" He asked me, a smile forming on his face.

"You said that it was important to have braids." I reminded him.

"I can't braid." Kili admitted, shrugging and looking down at his bowl.

"Couldn't you get someone else to do it for you?" I asked him.

"I could." He agreed. "But I couldn't live with the shame of having to know my mother braided my hair."

"Wow." I snorted. "Dragging your mother, aren't you? I thought you loved your mother."

Kili smiled at me, and I knew he had no clue what I was really saying. He got the gist of it though.

"I do love my mother, but it's a wee bit childish to have to have her braid my hair." Kili said. "It's not like I could re-braid it whenever I needed to bathe either."

"Well, I guess the real question now is, do you want braids?" I asked him.

He looked at me skeptically. "Aye."

I stared at him, waiting for him to connect the dots. I had braided my hair at least 3 times in front of him on this journey, and yet he still didn't understand what I was trying to say to him.

"Can I braid your hair then for you?" I asked him.

"You want to braid my hair?" Kili sputtered.

"Why is this surprising you?" I asked him. "There isn't a euphemism that I'm missing, is there?"

"No."

"Good, 'cause I can't do euphemisms. Sometimes even metaphors are a little too much for me."

Kili chuckled, and then stared at me for a moment. "Do you really want to braid my hair for me?"

"Why are you acting like this a lifetime commitment?" I teased him.

He smiled, looking away for a moment. "You'll have to keep braiding it at least until we get to Erebor."

"That's fine." I said, shrugging. "It'll give me something to do with my hands, besides rebraiding my own hair."

Kili looked back at me again, staring into my eyes before sighing, and then nodding.

"Finish your stew, and then we will figure out the logistics." I said to him as I stood up.

"And where are you going?" He asked me as I stepped over his knee.

I took a few more steps away from him before looking back. "I'm going to go wait by the bathroom…" God, he did not need to know this. "…just in case."

He snorted, his face crinkling up with laughter. I smiled at him and turned back around to walk away.

"Malia." Kili said, and I turned back to look at him. "I hope everything comes out well."

I couldn't even stifle my laughter. I burst out laughing, and so did he. It wasn't long before all the noise we were making attracted attention.

"What's going on?" Bofur asked as he peered his head out at us from the hallway.

I shook my head at Bofur, still laughing as I walked towards Bofur, and then around him to the kitchen to put away my bowl.

* * *

Kili had found me where I told him I would be, and the moment he saw me sitting outside the bathroom he started laughing again. Just hearing his laughter got me going again, and he had to help me off of the floor because I couldn't stand up whilst laughing so hard.

"So what are these logistics we need to figure, Malia?" Kili asked as he kept ahold of one of my hands.

"I already figured out what I want to do." I told him, as I held onto his hand tighter and started dragging him down the hallway.

I dragged him to the living room, which was literally a room full of living creatures, and bundles of hay.

I stopped, looking around the room. I spotted a bundle of hay across the room and led him to it.

"Right, you sit on the ground." I told him as I let go of his hand. "Right in front of me." I said as I sat down on the bundle of hay.

I watched him start to sit down, and snorted.

"Not facing me, you Twix. Put your back right here." I patted to the side of hay between my legs.

Kili frowned, but did as I asked. "What's a Twix?" He asked as he settled closer to me, his back resting on my lower legs. The warmth from his body felt really nice.

"It's a candy." I said to him as I looked at his head. "It's got a biscuit, and caramel, covered in chocolate. Very yummy."

"Why'd you call me that?"

"I'm sorry." I said sarcastically as I gently placed my hands on his head. His hair was soft. "I don't have a fun name for you. Unless you want me to call you Killian."

Kili let out a breathy laugh. "You can call me Kee. It's what Fili calls me."

"Kee." I said it to myself as I carefully took out his barrette. "I like it." I paused. "Both the nickname and your barrette."

I put the barrette down beside me on the hay and started braiding his hair quietly.

"Sing me a song." Kili said.

"Right." I sighed, thinking as I continued carefully lace-braiding his hair.

 _"You taught me the courage of stars before you left,_  
 _How light carries on endlessly, even after death._  
 _With a shortness of breath, you explained the infinite._  
 _How rare and beautiful it is to even exist._

 _I couldn't help but ask,_  
 _For you to say it all again._  
 _I tried to write it down,_  
 _But I could never find a pen._  
 _I'd give anything to hear,_  
 _You say it one more time,_  
 _That the universe was made,_  
 _Just to be seen by my eyes._

 _I couldn't help but ask,_  
 _For you to say it all again._  
 _I tried to write it down,_  
 _But I could never find a pen._  
 _I'd give anything to hear,_  
 _You say it one more time,_  
 _That the universe was made,_  
 _Just to be seen by my eyes._

 _With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite._  
 _How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist."_

Kili didn't speak for a few minutes after I finished singing. But when he finally did, he said;

"That was beautiful." He sighed. "All the songs from your world are beautiful."

I chuckled, shaking my head even though he couldn't see. "No, they aren't." I paused. "I could've chosen Cake by the Ocean."

 _"Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a masterpiece,_  
 _You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with my, ah_  
 _You're a real-life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy,_

 _But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously_  
 _Talk to me baby,_  
 _I'm going blind from this sweet sweet craving whoa-oh_  
 _Aye aye aye aye aye I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean."_

Kili laughed. "So maybe they aren't all beautiful. Perhaps I just enjoy your singing."

If that had been him flirting with me, I hadn't noticed.

"You'd be the first." I said, finishing the lace braids and grabbing the barrette, pinning them both together in the same spot the barrette was in before. "Well maybe not first. I've had a few kids who have heard me sing and not cry." I looked down at his hair and nodded. "I finished."

"How does it look?" Kili asked as he turned around in his spot to look at me.

He looked beautiful. But, it was Kili and he always looked beautiful.

"It looks good." I said, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "It suits you."

His smile grew bigger as my cheeks grew redder. He lifted a hand up to his head and carefully felt the braids.

"What does it mean, to eat cake by the ocean?" Kili asked as he kept smiling at me.

"It doesn't have a definitive meaning." I said to him. "But to me, the song means live your life and have fun."

Kili stared at me for a moment in thought, nodding his head.

Fili came into the room, stopping abruptly and looking from Kili to myself.

"What'd you do to his hair?" Fili asked.

"Don't act like it doesn't look good." I snapped at him.

Fili was taken aback by my snark. "It looks fine, I just wasn't expecting it."

My stomach grumbled, and I groaned. "I do not need any comments from either of you about my stomach." I remarked as I jumped out of my seat, and ran to the bathroom.

* * *

In case you were wondering, it hadn't been nearly as bad as it could've been. I had heard horror stories about people in my world who had accidentally eaten meat and then been in agony for hours, but maybe Middle-Earth was different. Or maybe my body had gotten enough shocks in the last week, that eating meat was the least of its worries.

Of course when I left the bathroom I was singing. You try living without music. I used to go everywhere while listening to music.

 _"So you want to know just how I feel about you,_  
 _I could live without you just don't want to,_  
 _I cross my heart and hope to die,_  
 _But my heart says you're dying to cross my mind,_

 _Oh the night is so young,_  
 _It hurts"_

Kili startled me from my singing while I had been walking down the hallway away from the bathroom.

"You all right?" Kili teased me, a big smile forming on his face.

"Shut up, I'm fine." I said to him, and I could feel my face grow hotter.

God, how embarrassing.

Kili beamed down at me, and when I ignored this and tried to walk past him, I blocked my path again.

I stared at him, waiting for him to move out of my way. But he didn't, he merely brought his face closer to mine, kissing me. It wasn't like our other kiss. This one lasted, our mouths exploring each other's and neither of us seemed to want it to end. I wanted to be closer to him, so close. I could tell he wanted to be closer to me too, because his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him.

When his mouth had left mine, I was very confused.

"Why are you kissing me like that after I've just gone to the bathroom?" I asked him, raising a brow at him as I stared at him incredulously. "I've just been, well." I really needed to learn how to shut up. "Not well. Isn't that weird?"

I paused. "Or maybe it isn't weird to you, considering Bilbo told me you all destroyed his plumbing."

Kili cackled, smiling at me while shaking his head in disbelief of my words.

"It's true, that's what he had said." I said.

Kili didn't respond, he merely smiled and laughed.


	8. Segment Seven Part Two

**_If you ever read a chapter and think to yourself; "Man, I wish the next chapter would come out sooner." You only have yourself to blame. This whole story is technically written, I'm just adding and editing. So if you want it sooner, review it you knob._ **

* * *

Don't ask me how I survived the night with my dignity in tact. Don't ask me why Kili was acting so strange after I had left the bathroom.

Honestly as a basis why you shouldn't ask me anything: I tend to know nothing.

The next morning I woke up next to Bilbo and Bombur. I had been a tad bit confused with Kili, whom was acting like a giggling schoolgirl. Minus the schoolgirl bit. Also he wasn't giggling as much as cackling. Not the point, really.

I had ended up hanging out with Bilbo for part of the night. Not like he was much better. Bilbo had stolen an acorn and was in love with it, or something. He kept droning on about how he was going to plant it at Bag-End, and I kept thinking about how I had tried making a garden as a kid, and then forgotten about it halfway into the summer. Turns out you shouldn't leave plants like that, and the tomato plant had nearly taken over all the lavender.

I'm really bad at spacial planning.

It really didn't help when I had a dream about Tauriel that night. And it wasn't pleasant. Actually, it was the opposite of pleasant. I would consider it to have been more of a nightmare, really. At least that's what I would consider a nightmare, someone laughing at me whilst eating rune-stones. What can I say? It was a dream, of course it didn't make sense.

All this aside, somehow, I had managed to sleep soundly next to Bombur. The man slept like a rock, if rocks snored louder than they talked. I swear, I hardly heard Bombur speak, but you could hear his snores from like a mile away.

Bilbo had nearly punched me in the chest when he had spotted Beorn that morning, and I couldn't blame him either. Beorn was huge, easily three times our size. Not only that, but he had some impressive eyebrows, and I half expected them to come alive and crawl off of his face.

Beorn genuinely looked like someone who was a bear a few hours earlier. Don't ask why, he just had a feral air about him. As if at any second he would snap and bite one of our heads off.

Kili had lost any giddiness he had portrayed the night before when he spotted Beorn. Kili was right back to being 'Protector Kili' in a heartbeat, and therefore I found myself between Kili and Fili during breakfast.

Boern lumbered around the kitchen as he set food out around the table for us. I was pretty nervous to take any, as if it might've been a test. But before I could question it any farther, my stomach growled and Kili grabbed the bowl of fruit and put it in front of me. I didn't even bother looking at him and merely took all the bananas.

"So you are the one they call Thorin Oakenshield." Beorn said as he looked over at Thorin. "Tell me, why is Azog the defiler hunting you?"

"You know of Azog?" Thorin asked. "How?"

"My people were the first to live in the mountains before the Orcs came down from the north. The defiler killed most of my family. But some…" Beorn paused. "He enslaved. Not for work, you understand, but for sport. Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him."

God, and I had shot an arrow at Azog? Yikes. I had angered a crazy Orc. He was definitely not going to forget that.

"There are others like you?" Bilbo asked.

"Once there were many." Beorn said.

"And now?"

I cringed. Did Bilbo not listen to that story at all? Obviously it wasn't going to have a happy ending.

"Now there is only one." Beorn said bitterly before looking back at Thorin. "You need to reach the mountain before the last days of Autumn."

"Before Durin's day, yes." Gandalf quickly interjected.

"You are running out of time." Beorn stated as he looked over at Gandalf.

"Which is why we must go through Mirkwood." Gandalf said, a frowning appearing on his face.

"Mirkwood?" I asked skeptically as I lifted the cup of tea that Dori had poured for me.

"A darkness lies upon that forest." Beorn said. "Fell things creep beneath those trees. There is an alliance between the Orcs of Moria and the Necromancer in Dol Guldur."

"Necromancer?" I said, nearly spitting my tea out.

"I would not venture there except in great need." Beorn said.

"We will take the elven road. That path is still safe."

"Safe?" Beorn spat. "The wood elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin. They're less wise and more dangerous. But it matters not."

"What do you mean?" Thorin asked.

"These lands are crawling with Orcs. Their numbers are growing, and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive." Beorn said.

"Oh." I choked. "Great." I added sarcastically.

"I don't like dwarves. They're greedy, and blind. Blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than their own." Beorn picked up a mouse that was on the table.

I groaned, closing my eyes and grabbing Kili's forearm.

"Please tell me he isn't hurting it." I whispered.

The last thing I needed was to watch Beorn murder a mouse with his bare hands.

"But I hate Orcs more." Beorn said, and my eyes shot open when I felt something in my free hand.

It was the mouse. Beorn had handed it to me.

"What do you need?" He asked, looking away from the mouse and to Thorin.

* * *

Beorn had given us ponies, food, and water. What a stand up guy. The ride to Mirkwood was uneventful, yet slightly unnerving.

"Here lies our path through Mirkwood." Gandalf said as he got off of his pony.

"No sign of the Orcs, we have luck on our side." Dwalin said as he got off of his pony.

"I doubt it was luck." I grumbled. I had a sinking suspicion Beorn was making sure we didn't hurt or steal his ponies.

"Set the ponies loose. Let them return to their master." Gandalf said as slinked towards the forest.

I nudged my pony towards Bilbo and closer to the forest nervously. It didn't feel right. It felt, well, wrong. Obviously.

"This forest feels sick." Bilbo said, letting out a strangled sigh.

"Feels more than sick, Cuz." I said as I got off of my pony, letting it go free.

"Is there no way around?" Bilbo asked as Gandalf grew closer to us.

"Not unless we go 200 miles north, or twice that distance south." Gandalf said grimly.

"A simple no would've sufficed, Gandalf." I said to him.

I sighed as I looked back into the forest. It looked like the product of some horrifying 80's child cartoon. Except much scarier.

"Malia." Kili said as he came up to me, nudging me with his shoulder. "You seem more anxious than usual."

I frowned at him. How did he already know me well enough to tell?

I was anxious. Although there wasn't much I remembered about the second and third movies, I did remember Tauriel. Tauriel, the beautiful and tall Silvan Elf. Tauriel, who comes out of nowhere and sweeps Kili off of his feet.

"I want to be happy." I said quietly. "I want us all to be happy."

Kili tilted his head to the side. "What are you trying to say?"

I stared at him a little longer, looking at the braids I did last night before sighing, and shaking my head.

"Nothing, really."

Kili didn't believe it, and he looked around at the company before he bent down and placed a quick kiss on my cheek.

"You can tell me anything, okay?" He said.

"Not my horse! I need it." Gandalf yelled as he stormed back towards us.

"You're leaving us?" Bilbo sputtered.

"I would not unless I had to." Gandalf said. "I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me." Gandalf instructed. "This is not the greenwood of old. The very air of the forest is heavy with illusion. It'll set to enter your mind and lead you astray."

"Lead us astray?" Bilbo asked. "What does that mean?"

"You must stay on the path. Do not leave it. If you do, you'll never find it again." Gandalf got on his horse, about to leave. "No matter what may come, stay on the path!" He added, then rode off.

"Come on." Thorin said. "We must reach the mountain before the sunsets on Durin's day. It's our one chance to find the hidden door."

* * *

Mirkwood was the worst place I had even been, ever. I should've known after Gandalf had said that the air was full of illusion.

It was humid in the forest, but the air felt thick with more than water. Time seemed to slow down inside, and it wasn't long before we were all aimlessly wandering through the forest, lost. I had no clue when we had gotten lost, or anything of the matter.

"Air, I need air." Bofur groaned as we all continued down the path.

"My head," Oin added. "It's swimming!"

I closed my eyes for a moment as we walked, imagining Oin's head swimming. God, I was losing my mind.

All the dwarves voices became jumbled up together, and emotions became even more heightened.

I kept thinking about Tauriel, and how less than a day she'd come and take Kili. I was sure of it. I was positive that the last kiss Kili had given me would be, well, the last ever. I was mourning over a relationship I hadn't even lost yet. A relationship that had hardly even began.

"She's tall… and beautiful…" I mumbled as I looked around and kept walking.

Once again I was stuck between Bilbo and Bombur.

"And what am I?" I felt my heartbeat speed up. "I'm a hobbit. An awkward dwarf-hobbit."

"What are you on about, Lassie?" Dwalin asked as I nearly ran into him.

He hadn't been in front of me a few moments before, and I looked at him confusedly.

We had stopped, but I hadn't the faintest clue why.

"Your face, shut it." I groaned as I took a few steps away from him.

Where were we?

Dwalin raised a brow at me, a shadowy fog in his eyes.

I continued to take steps away from Dwalin until I ran into yet another someone.

"Watch it, Lassie." Gloin grumbled, not even looking at me as he said it.

I stayed still for a moment as I watched Gloin. I had never seen Gloin sad before. I had seen him angry a bunch of times, but never sad.

"Air, I still need air! Where's the air?" Bofur shouted over the group as Thorin continued looking around.

What was happening? What was Thorin looking for?

"I miss them more than air." Gloin mumbled wistfully, his eyes shining.

"Who?" I asked him.

Gloin stared at me for a moment as though he wasn't even sure I had spoken. He blinked a few times before his hand went into his pocket and he pulled out a locket. He opened it before taking a step closer to me, showing the locket to me.

"My wee lad Gimli, and my wife." Gloin said as he motioned to the two drawings in the locket.

My mouth went dry at the mention of Gimli. As I had stated before, Lord of the Rings had been my childhood. I knew of Gimli. I hadn't known Gloin was his father, though.

"You're married?" I asked him, looking away from the locket for a moment and staring at him.

Man, Gloin had a hard-on for his wife. Or whatever. Honestly, don't ask me about love. But he really did love her.

"Aye." He said as his eyes stayed on the drawings in the locket.

"And this is Gimli," I asked as I carefully pointed at one of the photos. "Your son?"

"Aye."

"And this is…" I asked as I pointed to the other drawing.

"My wife, Feya." Gloin said, his face easing into a smile as he looked at her drawing.

"Feya." I said to myself as I looked down at the photo. "She's quite…" I was at a loss for words.

Feya wasn't what I had been brought up to believe was conventionally attractive, but if there was one thing I had learned while with the company was, looks didn't matter. Love was what mattered, and Gloin loved Feya. I could only dream I'd find love like that someday.

Which was a weird idea to me. I had never wanted it before. But the idea of missing someone more than air, someone who's very mention could bring a smile to your face, that sounded nice. No wonder he was normally so happy, he had a light at the end of the tunnel.

"I can't wait to meet her someday, Gloin." I said to him, smiling up at him.

He looked down at me and smiled sadly. "I'm sure she'd be honored to meet you too, Lassie. Although I'm not quite sure she'd understand you."

I looked away from him and my eyes drifted to where Kili was. He had been looking at me, but the moment my eyes had drifted to his, he looked away.

"Most don't understand me." I admitted quietly before looking away from Kili. I forced a smile on my face as I looked back a Gloin. "It's quite alright."

"Enough, quiet, all of you! We are being watched!" Thorin bellowed, and that's when everything started going even more wrong.

I was depressed, simply put it. Depressed, lost, confused, scared. Did I mention Mirkwood was the worst place I had ever been?

"And with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade," I mumbled as I watched everyone scurrying around. Even Gloin had put his locket away and started skimping about.

 _"Former heroes who quit too late, just want fill up the trophy case again."_

God, I was reduced into singing Fall Out Boy.

 _"And in the end, I'd do it all again."_ I saw Kili over talking with Thorin. _"I think you're my best friend."_

Did he know I was losing my mind, did he care? And why wasn't he looking at me anymore?

 _"Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright?"_

I could see them in my mind conspiring against me. I couldn't find Bilbo, and I was scared.

Was that what was really happening? No. Was I driven mad by a forest? Yes.

And I had bolted, letting out a small squeak as I ran through the bushes. I had no clue where I was going, I just knew I didn't want to be where I was anymore.

The first thing I had felt was a large ball of goo being dropped on my head. I groaned as I tried to get it off of my head, and slowly I had started to realize I was alone. The second my fear started to pick up, a spider dropped in front of me and before I could even scream, I had been knocked unconscious.

* * *

Waking up inside a cocoon wasn't even the weirdest place I had woken up before. Definitely top 3, but not the weirdest.

It was however, the most terrifying. I felt like I was suffocating, and at first I was utterly clueless as to what to do. My hands were at my sides, and I couldn't move them through the thick web surrounding me. All the mind-haziness from the forest dissipated, but instead I was just terrified.

Bilbo appeared out of no where, and if my mouth hadn't been covered with the web, I would've screamed.

"Shh." He said to me, as if I could speak.

He took his small sword out and slowly dragged it down the cocoon I was in, and finally I started to be able to move. Bilbo then cut the top so I fell down to the forest floor.

As I sat up, I continued picking the webbing off my web and looking around. Thankfully, I still had my bow and quiver. The other dwarves were nearby, also taking off their cocoons.

"Malia!" Kili gasped, and I jerked around and saw he had gotten up and was coming towards me with a relieved smile on his face. "Where had you run off to? I was-"

Before he could continue or I could answer him, Dwalin had spoken up.

"Where's Bilbo?" Dwalin asked as he stood up, blocking my view of Kili.

"I'm here!" Bilbo shouted from the tree tops.

I stood up and smiled at Bilbo, and he smiled back.

Then a spider freaking attacked him, and he was out of sight.

"Bilbo?" I yelled, but received no answer.

I had wanted to go and help him, but Kili had grabbed my hand and dragged me along with him and the others, trying to run away from the spiders. The logical choice, really.

These spiders were huge, and it was really nerve raking to be anywhere near them.

The spiders surrounded us, and I quickly grabbed my bow and started to ready myself. The other dwarves did the same with their weapons, and we all started fighting the spiders.

Kili let go of my hand and helped, slashing at them with his sword. A spider came up behind him as he attacked another.

"Kili!" I yelled, shooting an arrow at the spider. The spider crumbled in its tracks.

Kili looked behind him to the dead spider and then back at me, smiling gratefully.

He winked at me. "We make a good team, we do." He said as he threw his sword at me, scaring the crap out of me.

The sword flew over my shoulder and into another spider's head, killing it. I quickly grabbed the sword from the spiders head and threw it back in his direction. He caught it, swishing it around.

We really did make a good team. A good team that had somehow gotten separated from the group. So, maybe not a good team.

"They went this way." Kili said as he ran ahead of me, motioning from me to follow. I followed him until I stepped on a large chunk of webbing, and nearly tripped.

I stopped for a moment as I tried to get my foot free from the webbing, and I looked up to see Kili stop ahead too and look back at me. I looked back down at the webbing and started trying to pull my foot out of it.

"I'm fine." I said as I finally yanked my foot free, and then I looked back at Kili.

His eyes grew big and I could see he was about to yell for me. But suddenly a spider had dropped itself onto me. I screamed, hitting the fangs with my bow and slowly trying to crawl out from under it.

Right as I got out from under the spider a sword landed directly in it's face, and it collapsed in the spot I had just been.

But I stayed still for a moment as I looked at the blade.

It wasn't Kili's blade.

I whipped my head around to see who it was, and I nearly started screaming again. I had known that face, and although it hadn't been that long ago I had seen her last, it felt like centuries before.

Crystal.


	9. Segment Eight

**_So, no one has reviewed in a while. Bit rude, if you ask me. But to be fair, I did call you all knobs in the last chapter. I'm sure you are all lovely human beings, continue favouriting and following. But also, please review._**

* * *

Crystal looked down at me, a bewildered smile on her face as she started walking towards me. She was wearing elvish clothes, and I could see her ears were pointed. What the frilly hell.

Kili ran up to me protectively, grabbing me and pulling me up on my feet before standing in front of me, his sword ready to fight.

"No way." Crystal said, smirking down from Kili to me.

I could see her mind connecting the dots as Kili protected me. I didn't need to even tell her about Kili; she already knew.

"What?" I asked, staring up at her in confusion and grabbing onto Kili's upper arm, as if that would protect me.

Technically, I didn't need his protection. But she wasn't supposed to be here. She couldn't be here. How was she here, and how was she a freaking elf? How could this be even in the realm of possible?

"Stand back." Kili said, and Crystal raised a brow at him.

She then continued walking up to the spider, nonchalantly pulling her sword out of its face.

Crystal was not a tall elf, mind you. But she taller than me. Which she hadn't been in our world. She was still as beautiful as she was in our world, though. If anything, Middle-Earth had given her an elegance I could never achieve.

"Crystal?" I asked her, still unbelieving it.

"You know this elf?" Kili asked as he turned slightly to me, a concerned look on his face.

"Malia." She said back, her smile growing as she looked me up and down and sauntered closer to us. "What are you?"

"What?" I asked. "How did you, I'm sorry, what the fuck?"

"Search them!" An unfamiliar voice yelled, and I followed Crystal's gaze to a blonde elf that was in front of the rest of the company, which was about 25 feet away from us.

"Sorry." Crystal said as she looked back at me, and with one swift motion she yanked the bow at of my hand.

I blinked a few times and looked at my now-empty hand in surprise. I had just started liking that bow.

"Nice bow though." Crystal added, looking at the bow up and down.

Crystal looked up from the bow and gave Kili a funny look. "Don't try it, Kili." Crystal said, the smirk returning on her face. "I'd rather not fight my best friend's boyfriend."

Kili was extremely taken aback by her words, and with his defenses down, Crystal was able to pluck the sword out of his hand before looking back at me and waiting for me to hand her my quiver.

"I'm not happy about this." I told her as I took my quiver off, and handed it to her.

"Yeah, but you're too tiny now to really be much of a hassle." She said before pausing in thought. "Actually, I bet you still are a hassle."

The blonde elf yelled at her in elvish, and Crystal groaned before yelling back at him in elvish. I watched in confusion. I had known she had learned Elvish in our world because she was a mega nerd, I just had never thought in my wildest dreams that her learning it would actually turn out to be helpful.

"Come on then." Crystal said, motioning for us to go ahead of her and join the company. "No funny business."

I sighed, and slowly started walking towards the company.

"Malia." Kili whispered as he grabbed my hand, his feet matching my pace. "You must explain how you know her." He held on tighter.

"That's my best friend. The one from my world. Who shouldn't be here either."

"How did she get here?" Kili asked quietly as we watched all the elves begin talking amongst themselves.

"I don't know how _I_ got here, Kee." I reminded him, flashing him an apologetic look.

Kili sighed angrily, muttering; "Durin zabukuna."

I tried to ignore what that could possibly mean, and I watched as one of the elves was still searching Fili.

"Dear lord how many weapons is your brother carrying?" I asked him.

Kili didn't respond, and I looked at him and realized; I don't even think he knew how many weapons his brother was caring.

The blonde elf leader, whom I started to figure was a young Legolas, yelled something in elvish. The rest of the elves started pushing us, one of them being sure to yank Kili away from me. God, it hadn't been my day, not even in the slightest.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see it was Crystal, and she winked at me before motioning for me to be silent. I nodded angrily, and then she pushed me and went along like the rest of the elves.

So I was back to being pushed around. They led us through the forest, and into a huge city made of trees. It was beautiful, and I wish I could've admired the view, but Crystal kept pushing me every five seconds.

They lead us down to the cells, and we all got our own cell.

"How lovely." I said sarcastically as she shoved me into the cell.

"I'll be back later." She whispered as she locked the door. "I'm sorry." She quickly added before darting off.

I groaned and sat back in the cell, resting my back against the wall. Within seconds I was already restless.

"Kili?" I called out, crawling to the cell door, and pressing my ear out the bars.

"Aye, I'm here." Kili said.

"I'm sorry." I said, although I wasn't sure what I was sorry for, I knew I was sorry.

"Don't be." Kili replied gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You'll both be sorry if you don't shut it." Dwalin yelled.

"Charming as always." I yelled back to Dwalin.

"They even found my last sword." Fili yelled from his cell.

It was about ten minutes into our captivity when I heard a bunch of them start trying to shove their way through the doors. By the sounds of the grunts, it appeared to be Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Oin and Gloin.

So basically all of the Durin's folk besides Balin, who was probably sitting in his cell thinking he was too old for this shit.

I listened to them grunting and throwing themselves at the bars for at least five minutes.

"There is no way out!" Balin finally shouted. "This is no Orc dungeon. These are the halls of the woodland realm. No one leaves here but by the king's consent."

I groaned, pulling the rune-stone out of my dress pocket. I closed my eyes, my thumb feeling the runes etched on it. It made me feel calmer, which was something I needed whilst in a cell waiting for Crystal.

* * *

Crystal came to my cell not long after Thorin had been thrown into his own cell. A big smile was on her face. I was still angry for the cold shoulder. I frowned at her and looked back down at the rune-stone, gently passing it from hand to hand.

"Oh come on, you can't be mad at me." Crystal insisted as her long fingers curled around the bars. "It's not like I could explain all of this to them."

"I don't need you to explain it to _them_." I hissed at her, still looking down at the rune-stone. "I need you to explain it to _me_."

Crystal frowned, looking down at the ground and nodding before she let go of the bars. She then plopped herself on the ground outside the cell.

"It was about a week after you had disappeared. I was angry, and scared. I thought you had died, Malia." Crystal sighed.

"It was the anniversary of your mother's disappearance, and your dad was livid. He kept mentioning the woods. So I had went out into the woods by your house that night. I don't remember what happened or how I got here, though. I think I tripped. When I first got here, I was nearly eaten by spiders."

I didn't respond.

"Spiders, Malia. You imagine waking up with something that big and hairy looking at you." She said, shivering at the memory.

"I did." I said as I glanced at her for a moment. "I woke up and Dwalin was looking at me."

Crystal smiled, shaking her head at me before continuing.

"By the time I realized where I was, they had already accepted me. I had no clue if you were here, or what-have-you. I never thought you'd be with the company, let alone that you'd be," Crystal motioned to me.

"A creepy hybrid of dwarf and hobbit? Yeah, me either." I huffed, holding onto the rune-stone tighter.

"It's not creepy." Crystal insisted. "I can't believe you got to be a hobbit. You're so lucky. Man, I wish I could've been turned into whatever you are. Or have appeared wherever you did. What did I get out of all of this?"

"A thriving career?" I supplemented, looking at her.

Crystal paused, in deep thought. "I suppose so." She smiled and nodded before sighing. "But we need to get down to brawny ticks."

"I really don't think that's the saying."

"Not the point. You know how this book ends." Crystal said.

"Shh!" I looked around. "They can hear you."

"No they can't. Not if we talk quietly." Crystal said. "See?" She was silent for a moment. "Dwarves are shit and I hate them."

We listened to see if any of the Dwarves had a fit at her words, but the dungeons remained silent.

"Or this, Durins-folk are dimwitted loons."

There was still silence.

"Okay, I get it." I hissed to her. "Stop the insulting before I get offended."

Crystal snorted.

"Now, we need to talk strategy." Crystal said. "First off, tell me everything that has happened so far. I need to figure out what kind of storyline we are on."

"I need to tell you something." I said to her, frowning and looking back down at the Rune-stone.

"You never read the books so you're clueless, I know Malia." She said offhandedly.

"How did you know that?" I asked her, my mouth going agape.

"When we were watching the movies I told you to look up and you were surprised by the ending, and I had asked you why you were surprised." She looked at me, a brow raised at me. "And when you did that whole," She mimicked me shrugging and bobbing my head. "I assumed you actually hadn't read it."

I let out a loud groan and told her everything. From waking up in front of Bilbo's house, to Kili and I expressing our feelings or whatever for each other. I tried not leave anything out, but my memory isn't always the best, nor are my summarization skills.

"It sounds like, I mean, besides you and I being here, that this is the movie storyline." Crystal said, her face scrunching up. "And Gandalf said you wouldn't mess things up?"

"Yes." I sighed. "Believe it or not."

"But Tauriel isn't here." Crystal added. "And don't ask me where she is, because apparently it's a very touchy subject for Legolas." Crystal sighed.

"Do you remember the movie plot line?" Crystal asked me.

"I remember how hard it was to get the damn water to the alligator." I said to her.

"So you were playing games on your phone the whole time." She remarked.

"Not the whole time." I said as I began fiddling with the Rune-stone again. "Just you know…" I paused. "…most of it."

She stared at me unamused for a moment before she finally noticed the Rune-stone.

"What's that?"

"Rune-stone." I grumbled, looking down at it.

"A Rune-stone?" She sputtered. "That's…" She was fumbling for words.

"Kili's?" I supplemented, refusing to look at her as I felt my cheeks grow red.

"When did he give you that?" She asked.

"I told you he gave it to me in Rivendell." I said as I looked at her, annoyed.

"No," She frowned. "You had told me he had given you a rock in Rivendell. You didn't tell me it was the freaking," Her voice started to rise.

"Shh!" I hissed, looking at her lividly.

"Did he tell you what it meant?" Crystal asked, looking at it.

"It means 'Return to Me'." I said, shrugging.

"Oh, gross." She said. "That's sickeningly romantic."

"It's not!" I said as I felt my cheeks heat up again. "He gave it to me as a token of our friendship."

Crystal snorted. "Is that what he told you?"

"Yes?"

Crystal started flat out laughing like a hyena. "And you believed him?"

"Stop it." I demanded. "Yes, I believed him. Shh, they will hear you."

"Good." She nearly yelled. "He needs to hear this." She said to me before getting up. "I'm very sorry everyone. Malia's very oblivious. You need to say what you mean with her." Crystal yelled.

"Stop!" I yelled.

"Maybe even spell it out for her. That might be more helpful." She continued yelling.

"I will kill you." I snapped at her, putting the Rune-stone down and gripping onto the bars, ready to try and throttle her.

She watched me an amused look growing on her face. "I've only done it for the betterment of your life. You're welcome." She sighed. "I will meet you in lake-town. We will continue planning there, but if I'm right, and I'm always right, Bilbo is bound to come soon and rescue you guys. I won't say a word." Crystal said.

"Oh, you're leaving me now?" I asked, frowning.

"You just threatened to murder me, you insane pigmy." Crystal reminded me as she brushed her dress off. "I'll see you later. Be safe, okay?"

"I'll be safe, you… deranged bean stalk." I muttered as I let go of the bars, settling back down against the wall.

Crystal sighed, rolling her eyes before ignoring my words and turning on her heel, leaving.

* * *

Bilbo opened my door second to last. A little rude if you ask me, but at least he opened it. Could've been worse I suppose. He could've just left me.

"That she-elf saw me." Bilbo said to me.

"And what did she say?" I asked him as I left the cell.

"She said, 'I'm sorry you have to deal with her'." Bilbo remarked.

I nearly choked. Of course Crystal would say something like that. What a… Deranged Bean Stalk.

"Up the stairs!" Thorin hissed as everyone gathered near the stairs.

Dwalin grabbed Ori, and was about to push him up the stairs when Kili deliberately walked towards me and away from the stairs with a concerned look on his face.

"Not that way, down here. Follow me." Bilbo hissed, and I watched as he took a few steps down the stairs towards the lower levels.

I pointed towards Bilbo, motioning for Kili to follow.

Kili frowned slightly, and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. What was his deal now?

"Kee, bigger things at hand." I whispered as I grabbed his shoulders, slowly forcing him to turn and keeping my hands on his shoulders as he started following Bofur down the stairs.

We kept going farther and farther below, through hallways and over bridges until finally we entered a room full of wine barrels.

"This way." Bilbo whispered as he motioned for us to go ahead of him, past the sleeping guards and to the larger barrels across the room.

"I don't believe it!" Kili hissed as he looked around. "We're in the cellars!"

"You're supposed to be leading us out, not further in!" Bofur snapped.

"Shh!" I said, taking one of my hands from Kili's shoulder and putting it over my mouth.

"I know what I'm doing." Bilbo hissed back to Bofur.

"Shh!" Bofur added, frowning at Bilbo.

Bilbo looked at him incredulously before sighing. "This way, this way." Bilbo followed us to the barrels and then motioned to them. "Everyone, climb into the barrels quickly."

I nodded, letting go of Kili's shoulders and climbing into the first barrel I saw. I poked my head out and watched the others.

"Are you mad?" Dwalin asked. "They'll find us."

"No, no." Bilbo shook his head. "They won't I promise you. Please, please, you must trust me."

Everyone paused.

"Do as he says." Thorin commanded, and just like that, everyone was cramming themselves into the barrels.

"Right then Malia." Kili said as he bent down. "Shove over." He said as he pushed his way into my barrel.

I moved over as he settled himself into the barrel. He was next to me, and he smiled at me before looking at the others.

"What do we do now?" Bofur asked as he peered out of his barrel.

Bilbo walked towards a lever. "Hold your breath."

The ground beneath our barrels started to move, and I smiled at Kili as he looked back at me.

Without even thinking, I quickly hugged Kili before grabbing onto the edges of the barrel and looking into his eyes and saying, "Hold on tight."

Kili threw his arms over my shoulders, gripping the barrel behind me as the ground beneath us gave out, and we went tumbling down into the water.

The second our barrel turned right-side up, I peered out and looked for something to grab.

This was my area of expertise. Crystal and I used to go tubing all the time, and we'd sometimes get separated from each other and need to grab onto rocks and wait for the other.  
Mainly, I'd end up swimming instead of tubing, and I'd end up way ahead of her as she continued actually tubing down the river.

There were rocks nearby, and I squirmed out of Kili's grip and grabbed a rock, holding our barrel in place.

Thorin in front of us noticed this and did the same thing.

"Everyone grab arms!" I yelled, and Kili let go of the barrel and turned around, his arm going out and grabbing Fili's.

Within a minute we were all linked up and waiting for Bilbo, who fell down without a barrel. He grabbed onto Bombur's and Thorin smiled at him.

"Well done, Master Baggins." Thorin said as he motioned for us all to let go of each other. "Hold on!"

I let go of the rock, and sunk down in the barrel as it went over a cascade. Water splashed into the barrel and Kili sputtered, wiping his eyes and looking around.

An elvish horn blew loudly, and I groaned. They had already spotted us.

"Shiit." I groaned as I peered farther out of the barrel to look ahead.

"Malia, stop before you fall in." Kili snapped, his hands going to my waist to yank me further back into the barrel.

"As if that would be the worst thing to happen to me today." I replied sarcastically as we went over a bigger rapid, the water spraying in my face.

Kili grumbled and let go of me as he looked behind us, and I peered farther back out of the barrel and down stream to see the gate closing, blocking us from continuing down river.

Thorin got trapped at the gate, and slowly we all built up behind him. I frowned as I looked around, spotting a staircase nearby.

The Dwarves started groaning and bickering, and suddenly they were fighting both Orcs and Elves.

Whom, in my opinion, had come out of nowhere.

It was now or never. There was a lever above, and it needed to be pulled. If anyone in the company could be the one to do that and then swim to follow up with them if need be, it would be me. I mean, how hard could it be?

"I got this." I huffed, jumping up onto the barrel's edges and towards the staircase, using Dwalin's and Fili's as stepping stones.

"Malia!" Kili yelled angrily as my feet hit the ground.

"It's fine!" I yelled as my eyes grew and I ducked as an Orc swung it's sword at me.

It wasn't fine. I was fighting an Orc without a weapon.

"Malia, here!" Dwalin yelled, and I turned just as Dwalin threw a long spear in my direction, spear-end first.

I grabbed it and stabbed the Orc behind me in the stomach as I turned around. I pushed the spear farther in, twisting it as the Orc groaned in pain before I yanked it out and jumped up a step.

I heard the Orc behind me fall to the ground, but there was another Orc on me before I got halfway up the stairs.

I growled passively as I frowned and swung the spear. The Orc dogged it and swung its sword at me, and I side-stepped before twirling my spear and holding it tightly like a javelin and driving it into the Orc's neck and following it to the ground, leaping over it's body onto the final tier of steps.

Who would've guessed I could be that badass? Not me, that's for sure.

I leapt up the stairs and ran towards the lever, starting to grow much more confident in myself that I should've.

Because the next thing that happened was me being shot in the upper thigh with an arrow.


	10. Segment Nine

_**I'm back to work! This Segment is the smallest, and proof that I don't know how to Segment. Thanks so much for the two reviews! I wouldn't have posted it this soon if it wasn't for you too! Keep up the good work, high fives all around!**_

* * *

I had never been shot with an arrow before, and I can safely say I never want to again. I could feel the arrow inside my leg, having torn through muscles and then struck the bone and stayed put.

It was one of those moments where I hadn't thought I could ever feel this dead but still be alive, and I had a feeling it was only going to go downhill for me.

I screamed at the top of my lungs as I crumpled to the ground. It was almost as if time had slowed down.

"MALIA!" Kili yelled, fear drenched in his voice.

I could hear him, but I couldn't see him. I looked around myself in fear, and my eyes grew as another Orc was running up the stairs towards me.

I was going to die. I was going to freaking die.

The Orc suddenly stopped, a confused look spreading across its face as it slowly fell to the ground.

My eyes grew as I watched it fall, and I noticed a knife in the back of its head and Crystal ten feet behind him.

"Get up!" Crystal yelled as she ran towards me and drew her sword, attacking another Orc that came running towards us.

"I was shot in the leg, you bitch." I groaned as I glared at her as she got closer to me. She looked around, prepared to fight all the Orcs she could.

"Get knocked down." Crystal said, using her sword as a shield as an arrow flew at her.

"Get back up again." I finished, grabbing onto ledge ground beside me and pulling myself up.

I couldn't give up, not now.

The lever was only a foot away, and I winced as I put some weight on my leg and lunged at it, using my full weight to bring the lever down before falling back onto the ground.

I let out another scream as I laid on the ground.

"Go." Crystal yelled as she brought her sword down near me, chopping off the end of the arrow that was sticking out of my leg and causing me to scream again.

I groaned as she brought her sword back up and ran towards oncoming Orcs, and I slowly rolled myself around to the edge of the bridge and let myself fall down to the barrels.

* * *

I landed sprawled out between Kili and Fili's barrel, and Kili grabbed me from underneath the armpits and dragged me into his.

I had to stifle another scream as I landed in the barrel, the arrow being pushed a little farther into my leg by the barrel's side.

"Holy shit." I choked out, trying not to scream again.

"Malia." Kili said as he continued holding onto me and pressed a kiss on my forehead.

"What do you wanna bet that arrow was poisoned?" I asked as I closed my eyes.

I had never felt like this before. Who would've known that being shot with an arrow could actually hurt this much?

"Shhh, just hold on." Kili insisted as he held onto me tighter. "You're fine."

The rest of the barrel trip was mostly a blur. I wish I had been fully awake for it, considering apparently Bomber freaking kicked ass, and Legolas used everyone as stepping stones. Only I would miss out on that much action whilst actually being present.

But I only really snapped back to it once the current slowed down.

"Anything behind us?" Thorin asked.

"Not that I can see." Balin said as I finally opened my eyes and looked around.

"I think we've outrun the Orcs." Bofur added from a barrel close to us as he popped his head out of the barrel and spat water out.

"Not for long, we've lost the current." Thorin grumbled.

"Bomburs half drowned." Bofur added, and I looked past Kili to see Bombur in a barrel that was mostly filled with water.

"Make for the shore." Thorin said, pointing to the rocky shore nearby.

Kili let go of me and started paddling us to shore, and as we reached it he leapt out and turned to me, hands out to help me.

Kili dragged me out of the barrel and then bent down, one arm ready to go behind my knees and lift me up to carry.

"I can walk." I snapped, trying to push him away as I put weight on my bad leg.

Pain shot up from the wound, sending fire up my leg. If it wasn't for Kili, I would've fallen to the ground.

Kili went back to lifting me up, and carried me to a rock and set me down.

"How does it look?" I asked him as I closed my eyes. "I can't look."

"Up on your feet." Thorin said.

"Malia's wounded." Fili said from in front of me. "Her leg needs binding."

"Binding?" I nearly screeched, my eyes shooting open. "Why kind of archaic bull shit is that?"

"There is an Orc pack on our tail, we keep moving." Thorin said as he walked past us, looking down at my leg.

"To where?" Balin asked tiredly.

"To the mountain. We're so close." Bilbo said.

"A lake lies between us and that mountain." Balin said. "We have no way to cross it."

"So then we go around."

"The Orcs will run us down, as sure as daylight. We've no weapons to defend ourselves." Dwalin said.

"Bind her leg, quickly." Thorin said. "You have two minutes."

I groaned. "I don't really like the idea of a quick binding. Or any binding, actually."

* * *

In the end, Fili told me to shut it and bound my leg, which was pretty much just wrapping it with a bit of Kili's shirt.

I watched the dwarves, raising my brow as Dwalin grabbed a stick and ran towards Ori, standing in front of him defensively.

An arrow was shot at Dwalin, splintering his stick.

Kili's eyes grew as he looked behind me, and he grabbed a stone from beside me and lifted it to throw, but that was also shot at, and the rock was shot out of his hand.

"What the," I began, turning around slightly.

There was a very, very tall man behind us, his bow ready to shoot again.

"Do it again, and you're dead." He said.

My eyes stayed trained on this newcomer, confused.

"Excuse me, but you're from lake-town, if I'm not mistaken." Balin said, and I turned and watched him slowly walk up to the newcomer.

The newcomer pointed his bow at Balin, and he raised his hands in the air.

"That barge over there," Balin nodded his head towards the ship not too far away. "It wouldn't be for hire, by any chance?"

Kili carried me to the docks, even after I insisted I'd be fine. When we reached the docks, he gently put me down on the ledge and leaned on it next to me, his body so close to mine that I stayed warm.

"What makes you think I would help you?" The newcomer asked.

"Those boots have seen better days. As has that coat. No doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed." Balin said.

The newcomer nodded, grabbing a barrel and loading it onto the boat.

"How many bairns?" Balin asked.

"A boy and two girls." He replied.

"And your wife, I imagine she's a beauty." Balin said.

"Aye." The newcomer nodded, looking away. "She was."

"Oh fuu-" I started, but Fili shot me a look and I frowned, stopping.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Balin said apologetically.

"Oh come on, come on." Dwalin groaned from the back. "Enough of the niceties."

"Ucckkk." I finally finished, shaking my head at the general direction Dwalin was in.

God, these Dwarves had no tact. Honestly, same.

"What's your hurry?" The newcomer asked.

"What's it to you?" Dwalin snapped back.

"I would like to know who you are and what you are doing in these lands."

"I'm Malia." I spat out, raising my hand before anyone could introduce me. "Daughter of Rickon Reed and Mirabella Took. It's okay if you didn't know them, neither did I apparently."

Balin turned around, giving me a pointed look before turning back to the newcomer.

"We are simple merchants from the blue mountains, journeying to see our kin in the iron hills."

I gently pulled on Kili's shirt, looking at him. He moved in closer, and I whispered;

"Do the iron hills have a lot of iron in them?"

Kili smiled, nodding. "Yes."

"Good." I whispered back. "Otherwise that would be a complete let down of a name."

"Simple merchants, you say?" The newcomer raised his brow at Balin.

"We need food, supplies, weapons." Thorin said as he stepped closer to Balin.

"You know, basic traveling merchant stuff." I added sarcastically.

I mean, really. If he hadn't thought us merchants, he definitely didn't after Thorin asked for weapons.

Thorin sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them to look at the newcomer. "Can you help us?"

"I know where these barrels came from." He said as he loaded the last one on his boat.

"What of it?"

"I don't know what business you have with the elves, but I don't think it ended well." The newcomer looked at one of the barrels that had been shot with arrows. "No one enters lake-town but by leave of the master. All his wealth come from trade with the woodland realm. He would see you in irons before risking the the wrath of King Thranduil."

 _The Master, King Thranduil, yikes._

The newcomer untied his boat, throwing the rope at Balin.

"Offer him more." Thorin hissed at Balin.

I didn't have to see Balin's face to know he was probably fed up. His sigh was enough proof.

"I'll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen." Balin said.

"Aye. But for that you would need a smuggler." Bard said.

"For which we would pay double." Balin insisted, holding the rope hopefully.

* * *

Paying double worked, and within ten minutes we were all on board the boat and going towards lake-town.

A haze had spread over the water, and I watched from my spot on the boat's floor at the chunks of ice in the water.

Kili was behind me, letting me rest my back against his chest for warmth.

No one seemed to pay this display of affection any notice, which I was thankful for. I was freezing.

"Watch out!" Bofur yelled, and I looked to the front of the boat to see us passing through ruins.

"What are you trying to do, drown us?" Thorin asked, glaring at the newcomer, who's name we had learned was Bard.

"You can't drown me." I said looking back down to the water next to the boat beside me.

Kili chuckled, and I turned to look at him. He was staring back at me, a brow raised.

"What?" I asked. "I can hold my breath under water for two minutes." I shrugged.

Kili smiled at me, brushing the hair away from my face. I smiled at him before turning back around, and he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

The rest of the Dwarves continued bickering, but I was too tired to pay attention. My leg felt like it was on fire on the inside. I was cold, hungry, and in pain.

Yet it was oddly tranquil, sitting on the boat with Kili's warmth surrounding me.

"Come on now lads, turn out your pockets." Balin said louder from the other side of the boat.

I huffed. "Even if I had any of my money, it wouldn't be useful here. Dumb pieces of paper." I mumbled.

Kili's hand came up to my cheek, brushing the hair out of my face as he buried his head in my hair and let out a sigh.

"Just try and rest Malia. You're beginning to worry me." Kili said.

I snorted, rolling my eyes. As if I was just beginning to worry him. He'd been worried about me ever since we left Rivendell.

Kili gasped, and his arms left me before I felt him stand up behind me.

"Malia, look." Kili said as he kneeled back down, pointing to something in the distance.

"I thought I was supposed to…" My words dried out when I finally saw what he was pointing at through the fog.

It was the silhouette of Erebor. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"Bless my beard." Gloin said. "Take it, take all of it." He said, handing his coin purse over to Balin.

Kili sat back down, pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arms back around me.

"It's funny." I said. "I've never been to Erebor… but I feel like…" I sighed.

My home in my world, it had been home, but not really. It had always felt more like rest stop. They say home is where the heart is, but seeing Erebor, that felt like home. Maybe my heart had been in Erebor. Probably not, considering I've been told you need your heart to live.

"Like I'm finally going home." I finally whispered.

Kili brought his face close to mine, holding me even closer as he kissed my temple.

"We are going home, Malia." He let out a relieved sigh. "We are."


	11. Segment Ten

_I apologize. Technically, the last segment and this one should probably just be one whole segment together. But this one is super cute and I love it and leave me alone I Am Trying™_

* * *

Bard forced us back into the barrels.

Once again I was in a barrel with Kili. We faced each other, our backs against opposite sides of the barrel.

Kili smiled at me, staring into my eyes. I nodded to him, closing my eyes.

"Malia?" Kili said as I felt his hand clasp my shoulder, and then he gently shook me.

"I'm awake." I said as I half opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"Are you now?" Kili asked, his smile growing.

"Who knows." I said, my smile growing as I shrugged at him, opening my eyes completely.

We stared at each other for a minute, and then both started to quietly laugh.

I held onto his upper-arms for support, and Kili bent slightly over and placed a firm kiss on my forehead. His face lingered near mine, and I could feel his breath on my face as he sighed.

"Amralime." He whispered, his lips so close to my forehead I could feel them move as he spoke.

"What does that mean?" I asked him as he pulled away and I looked into his eyes.

He smiled, raising a brow. "What do you think it means?"

I squinted in thought, then raised my brow back at him. "I have no clue."

Kili's hand came up to my cheek, his eyes staring into mine as his face grew even closer to mine, and he kissed me gently. Kili didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss, our mouths slowly exploring each others. I placed my hands on his chest, and his free hand went to behind my neck, keeping my mouth on his.

Kili finally broke the kiss, his hand still holding my cheek as he looked into my eyes.

"I think you do." He said, and as I looked into his eyes, I realized it meant something important.

It meant what I was to him, what we were. I knew whatever it meant, it was a good thing.

I sighed, resting my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and I was content.

Even after Bard dumped fish into our barrels.

* * *

I nearly fell asleep with my head on Kili's chest and freaking fish on us. Talk about weird, right?

Bard knocked our barrel over first, and we came toppling out. By the time I was actually fish-less enough to pay attention, everyone else was out of their barrels too, and we were sneaking around lake-town.

After hiding behind many houses and limping about, Bard turned back to us, and then motioned for us to go in the water.

Some of the Dwarves put up a fight, but I merely dived in like a pro. I'd rather be swimming than walking any day, let alone after a leg wound.

When I reached the top again, I groaned as I watched a few slowly slipping into the water as though it was diseased.

"God, you guys are so slow." I grumbled as I watched Kili swim up to me.

"Malia, you jumped in so fast you didn't hear the rest of what he said." Kili said, a smile on his face.

"You suck at treading water." I snapped back at him, watching him struggle.

"We are going under water and then up to his toilet Malia." Kili said as he smirked.

"His what?" I asked, my eyes growing big.

"Where else did you think their toilets led to?" Kili asked, tilting his head and smirking at me.

"Uhm, I don't know, a filtration system that cleans the water before then putting it back in the lake, cleaner than it was before." I said, frowning at him and thinking about how it was in my world.

"A filtration system?" Kili asked.

"Yes." We swam towards where the rest were heading. "Man, this is some unsanitary ass bullshit."

Dwalin went under first, then Kili, and then I went. It was pretty easy, even though I adamantly refused to open my eyes under the water. I already had an arrow in my leg, I wasn't aiming to get pink-eye too.

When I surfaced in the toilet I grabbed the edges and groaned, and Kili smiled at me and yanked me out of it quickly.

"The poor fishes." I groaned as I shook myself off. "Those poor fish, just." I stopped, trying not to think of it and puke.

"Malia." Kili said, grabbing my shoulders with a dorky smile on his face as he laughed for a moment. "You look beautiful."

I snorted, smiling at him. "No, I look like hell frozen over." I corrected. "But, thanks."

Kili smiled, his hands dropping from my shoulders and one hand grabbing mine, leading me up the stairs as the others started coming out of the toilet too.

"Da, why are there Dwarves climbing out of our toilet?" The oldest girl asked as we walked up the stairs.

"Excuse you," I said. "I'm half-Dwarf."

She raised a brow at me, and the younger sister popped up next to her with a smile on her face.

"Will they bring us luck?" The youngest girl asked.

I raised my hand, ready to spew into soap-box-speech-mode, when Kili yanked me away from them and towards the fire.

He placed his hands on my shoulders again, and pushed me onto a chair next to the fire.

"Sit." He commanded. "Warm up."

"I've swam in water colder." I said, my arms crossing my chest. I may have swam in colder, but never with a leg-wound, "But thanks, Armalamme." I stumbled over the word.

A large toothy grin spread over his face, and his hand went behind my neck as he kissed my forehead and then looked into my eyes.

"You didn't say it quite right." He said, his face crinkling up with happiness. "But I know you really tried." His eyes searched mine. "It's Amralime for you, but because I'm a man, you'd say Amralume."

"Amralume." I smiled at him, and he nodded, his hand leaving my neck. He gave me one last pat on the shoulder before he went over to where Thorin was, and they began talking.

I smiled, uncrossing my arms and lifting my Fish-shirt to get the Rune-stone out of my dress's pocket.

I let out a sigh of relief when I felt it in my hand, and pulled it out. Thank god, that even through Goblins, Orcs, a bear, more Elves, and a river ride though hell, it still stayed in my pocket.

Bilbo plopped himself on the chair next to me, his hands reaching out for the fire to warm himself.

"You alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He smiled, nodding his head. "You know, you're not the only Took who's confident in the water. I've done my share of-" I cut him off.

"Of swimming holidays?" I teased.

Bilbo chuckled, shaking his head. "No. I've done my share of leisurely swimming in the rivers around the shire. I even went into-"

But Bilbo was cut off as Kili came up to us, tossing a blanket at Bilbo's face before opening another and gently wrapping it around me.

Bilbo's nose twitched as he slowly opened his own blanket and wrapped it around himself, eyeing Kili wearily.

"It may not be the best fit," Bard started as he dropped a pile of clothing onto the table behind us. "But it'll keep you warm."

Kili slowly kneeled in-front of me, moving the blanket away from my wounded leg.

"No." I said, slapping his hand away from the wound.

"Malia." Kili said, puppy eyes donning. "You have to let me take a better look at it."

I shook my head, looking away from him and into the fire as I fumbled with the Rune-stone.

"At least get out of the damn leggings and into something dry, Malia." Kili said.

"My dad bought me these for my birthday." I whispered. "These and this shirt, they are all I have left of him."

"Burushruka igbulul e." Kili pleaded, his hand going up to my cheek and stroking it.

I had no clue what he had said, but I could tell he was hurt by my pain. I was starting to understand that some emotions, some things, were hard to translate for him. It was easier for him to say it in Khuzdul, because sometimes, the English translation didn't compare.

"I can't pull them off either." I whispered to him. "It hurts, the wound hurts too much." I sighed.

Kili sighed sadly, and I could tell he was getting even more concerned.

"Kili." Thorin said, and looked across the room at Thorin, before sighing again as his hand left my cheek.

"I'll be back." Kili said, gently patting my knee before getting up and walking over to Thorin.

"Are you alright, Malia?" Bilbo asked as he leaned in towards me.

"Not really." I said honestly, looking down at the rune-stone in my hands as I brought the blanket closer to myself.

"I want to thank you, for risking your life for us, and me." Bilbo said.

I looked up at him and smiled. "I owed you for those apples."

Bilbo chuckled, shaking his head. "You didn't." He smiled at me. "Thank you, though."

"Us Tooks got to stay together, right?" I asked him.

"Right." Bilbo nodded, before shaking his head.

A loud clang come from the table behind us, and I turned around slightly and watched Bard unwrap a shit ton of shitty weapons.

"What is this?" Thorin asked, frowning as he picked up a spear-like thing.

"Pike Hook." Bard said. "Made from an old harpoon."

"And this?" Kili asked as he picked up a weird axe.

"A crow-bill, as we call it. Fashioned from a smithy's hammer." Bard sighed. "It's heavy in the hand I grant, but in defense of your life, these will serve you better than none."

"We paid for weapons. Iron-forged swords and axes." Gloin spat.

Ah yes, I could see Gloin was getting angry again. Man, those Durin-folk knew how to get heated.

"It's a joke!" Bofur said as he threw a weapon back into the pile, and the rest followed suit.

"You won't find any better outside the city's armory. All iron-forged weapons are under lock and key."

"Thorin," Balin said as he moved closer to Thorin. "Why not take this an offer and go? I've made due with less."

"I killed two Orcs with a spear I've never used before." I added, and Kili frowned at me.

"And now you have an arrow in your leg, Malia." Kili reminded me, raising a brow at me.

"That's fair…" I said, turning around to look back at the fire.

"I say we leave now." Balin said.

"You're not going anywhere." Bard snapped.

"What did you say?" Balin asked, clearly offended.

"There are spies watching this house and probably every dock and wharf in the town. You must wait till nightfall."

* * *

And with that, Bard left us in his house with his children. Weird, right?

Kili came back to me, and I sighed as he kneeled down before me again.

"How much does it hurt?" Kili asked.

"It's not even how much it's hurting me that's worrying me anymore, Kee." I said to him. "It's how I'm starting to not feel it anymore."

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment before he spoke again.

"At least let me rebind it, with some fresh cloth." Kili pleaded.

I stared into his eyes for a moment longer, and then finally nodded. He smiled, and as he stood up he gave me a quick kiss, then bounced off to get stuff for my leg.

I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Bilbo staring at me from his seat.

"What?" I asked him.

"Hmmm." Bilbo's noise twitched. "Nothing."

"You're a dirty liar." I said to him.

Bilbo smiled, shaking his head. "Really, Malia. It's nothing. I'm happy for you, is all."

Kili came back quickly with a bowl and some cloth, and then kneeled back down in front of me.

I moved the blanket away from my leg and I watched Kili's hands shake as they went closer to my leg. He gently placed his hands on the binding and I immediately cringed.

Kili frowned, his hands leaving it alone as fast as possible. He looked down at my leg for a moment, as if contemplating his choices.

Finally, after a few minutes, he mumbled. "Isrên nimgumul ik-kuk."

"What?" I asked.

He sighed again, looking at me apologetically. "This is going to hurt, I'm really sorry."

"You must do it quickly." Fili said, and I turned in my seat to see him coming up to us. "The sooner you get it cleaned, the better off she will be. We should take the arrow out, too."

"Whoah there, soldier." I said as I shook my head at Fili. "I don't think taking it out it a good idea."

Fili looked at me incredulously. "Why not?" He asked as he stopped and stood next to my seat.

"Uhm, I'm sorry, are you a doctor?" I asked him.

"Are you?" Fili remarked.

"No, but I've seen enough episodes of House to know that right now, there is a huge chance this arrow is the only thing keeping me from bleeding out to death."

Kili made a groaning noise and I looked to him as he rested his head on my other knee, and although his head was warm, it made me shiver. Damn he was so pretty, and his face was too close to my… Well, everything.

"Please don't say that, Malia." Kili grumbled. "I do not like the thought of it."

I scoffed. "I don't either." I said, holding the Rune-stone tighter, my free hand gently brushing his hair. "But I'm a realist, or a pessimist." I paused. "I'm something."

"You certainly are something, Malia." Fili said, and I glared at him as he looked at Kili. "Do you want me to help you, brother?"

"Aye." Kili said as he lifted his head up, and I was forced to awkwardly take my hand away from his head.

Fili kneeled down as well, and he roughly kicked Bilbo's chair with his foot to make more room. Bilbo nearly fell off, and then glared at Fili as he got out of his seat and moved it away a few feet before sitting back down.

"First off, we should probably just cut it instead of untying it." Fili said as his hands went into his pocket and he pulled out a small knife.

"I thought you said they had gotten all of your knives." I said as I watched Kili take the knife from Fili.

"Aye they did. I picked this off of an Orc." Fili said. Fili's hand got closer to my wound as he motioned. "Cut right there."

Kili nodded, his hands going back towards the wound. Even with how gently he tugged on the binding, I still winced as he carefully cutting through the cloth.

Kili frowned at this, but finished cutting regardless. He then gave the knife back to Fili after he had cut through. He then gently started unraveling the cloth.

I jerked as the cloth unraveled and tugged on my skin, where the blood had dried onto it. I closed my eyes as I tried to breathe and focus on the engravings of the rune-stone.

"This is only going to begin to hurt more, Malia." Fili said. "Try to distract yourself."

I scoffed again. "Easier said than done."

"Sing me another song." Kili said gently.

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed and smiling as I thought of a song.

 _"I don't speak, the language that you speak,_  
 _There's some words I know I'll never reach,_  
 _But when I see you smiling back at me,"_

I felt them pour hot water over my leg, the wound burning even more. I gasped, involuntarily cringing. Kili's hand gently brushed against mine, before he then held onto it tightly.

 _"Somehow, somehow_  
 _I know exactly what you mean,_  
 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _I know exactly what you mean._

 _When you look, when you look a little hurt,_  
 _Sometimes I sing a song that I have learnt,_  
 _I swear to God there's no way you could've heard,"_

I could Fili and Kili were quietly muttering to each other in Khuzdul.

 _"But somehow, somehow_  
 _You sing every single word,_  
 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _You sing every single word_

Kili's hand left mine.

 _Sometimes I go running in the dark,_  
 _When I don't know how to read the stars,_  
 _But where I run, it don't matter how far,_

 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _I always end up in your arms,_  
 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _I always end up in your arms_

 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _Somehow, somehow"_

I felt Kili's gentle touch as he wrapped the fresh cloth around my leg.

 _"No, I don't know what happens when you die,_  
 _And just the thought, you know, It kind of blows my mind,_  
 _But when I look, when I look up to the sky,_

 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _I know that it will be alright,_  
 _Somehow, somehow_  
 _I know that you will be beside me"_

Kili's warm hand on my cheek made me open my eyes, and when I did, I saw him smiling at me, admiration written on his face. He stared at me, as though he was trying to memorize every curve and spot on my face.

"That might be my favorite song you've song so far." Kili said, his smile growing as his eyes continued to search mine.

I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Oh, you mean you didn't love Cake by the Ocean?"

I chuckled, watching his face crinkling in laughter as he kept his face close to mine, resting his forehead against mine.

"Amralizi." He muttered as he looked into my eyes again.

I had no clue what that meant, but before I could ask, Kili's lips had met mine and he had given me a gentle kiss.

Fili beside us snorted. "Atsu amuh gargzaharugnar haga khulum." Fili said bemusedly to Kili.

Whatever Fili had said, Kili wasn't happy about it. Kili let go of my cheek and looked at his brother angrily.

Oh god, they were going to fight.

"Kee." I hissed at him, trying to distract him from Fili, whom was now even more amused than he was before.

Kili looked at me and I smiled at him. "Do you want me to rebraid your hair?" I asked him.

He nodded, giving his brother one last annoyed look before moving from his kneeling position into a sitting one right in front of me.

"You're right." I said as I looked at the top of his head. "You'd either need someone with you all the time, or need to know how to braid." I said as I carefully took the barrette out of his hair.

Fili let out a snort and I watched out of the corner of my eye as he got up and left us.

"So why is it you all are starting to use so much Khuzdul in front of me?" I asked Kili as I carefully undid the braids I had put in at Beorns' house.

"I reckon everyone is starting to see you more as a Dwarf, and less of a Hobbit." Kili said.

"Its nice." I said, smiling as I ran my hands through his hair to brush it out. "It makes me feel like I am one of you guys. Like part of the family."

"You are one of us." Kili said. "Not quite one of the family…" His words died out, and he coughed before continuing. "But you are one of us."

"Will you ever teach me Khuzdul?" I asked him as I started braiding his hair.

"Of course I will, Malia." Kili said, and I could hear the amusement in his tone. "How else will you know what I'm saying?"


	12. Segment Eleven

_**There is only one Segment left in DoS. Yikes. And I really need to work on BoTFA. I mean, like add stuff and stuff. I've finished it technically, but its just lacking a wee bit. I'm not an action writer, okay? It's a bit hard to write a freaking war. Just leave me be, and Review if you want more.**_

* * *

At nightfall we all left Bard's house, with the intent on stealing weapons from the armory. I hobbled along. While my leg was hurting a bit less, my whole body was starting to hurt a bit more.

Not the smartest plan I warrant, stealing weapons. But Thorin wanted Iron-forged, and he'd get iron-forged. Some of the other dwarves made a ladder, and I climbed up them to the armory after Kili.

I have no clue why I had to be in the armory, so I merely perused around while the other dwarves and Bilbo grabbed weapons. I looked at the bows, smiling. I would definitely need one of those. Considering my best friend stole mine, and all.

"Are you okay?" Thorin asked me as he walked past me.

Of course, now he's curious. After he willy-nilly let me be binded within two minutes.

"I'm fine." I snapped at him, frowning.

Kili turned around, his arms full of weapons. "No she's not," He started, continuing walking, but was no longer watching his step.

The next thing that happened was Kili falling down the stairs, the weapons clanking in the stairwell as he fell.

The brigade came faster than I would've deemed possible, and within five minutes we were being marched to the Master.

Someone I had definitely never wanted to meet. I mean really, who dictates themselves 'The Master'?

"Why must you shove?" I asked as I glared at the guard who pushed me through the streets.

He smiled down at me, and I noticed he didn't have half of his teeth. Yikes.

We were marched into what appeared to be the town center, and an extremely ugly ginger man slowly came out of the house as we stopped in front of it. He appeared to be in a sleeping robe, no less.

"What is the meaning of this?" The extremely ugly ginger man asked, whom I assumed was the Master.

"We caught them stealing weapons, sire." The first guard said as he stepped in front of us.

The rest of the guards made us into a weird semi-circle, as if the Master would need to see every one of us at once.

"Ah, enemies of the state, eh?" The master asked as he looked around at us.

"A desperate bunch of mercenaries, if ever there was, sire." An Ugly man with a violent unibrow remarked.

"Hold your tongue!" Dwalin spat, taking a step forward. "You do not know to whom you speak. This is no common criminal. This is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror."

Thorin took a few steps forward towards the Master.

"We are Dwarves of Erebor. We have come to reclaim our homeland. I remember this town in the great days of old. Fleets of boats lay at the harbor, filled with silks and fine gems. This was no forsaken town on a lake. This was the center of all trade in the north!" Thorin said.

The crowd around us started murmuring in agreement. As usual, I had no clue what was going on. I was starting to feel a bit faint, though.

"I would see those days return. I would relight the great forges of the dwarves and send wealth and riches flowing once more from the halls of Erebor."

The crowd started cheering.

"Death!" Bard yelled and he pushed his way through the crowd towards Thorin. "That is what you will bring upon us." Bard was furious. "Dragon fire and ruin. If you waken that beast, it will destroy us all."

"You can listen to this naysayer, but I promise you this: If we succeed, all will share in the wealth of the mountain." Thorin said.

The crowd cheered again.

"You will have enough gold to rebuild Esgaroth ten times over!"

Now he had lost me a bit. Where the hell was Esgaroth?

"All of you, listen to me!" Bard yelled. "You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what, the blind ambition of a mountain king, so riven by greed he could not see beyond his own desire!"

"Now, now." The master said. "We must not, any of us, be too quick to lay blame." He gave a knowing look to Bard. "Let us not forget that it was Girion, lord of Dale, your ancestor, who failed to kill the beast."

"It's true, sire." Unibrow nodded. "We all know the story. Arrow after arrow, he shot. Each one missing its mark."

Bard stormed up to Thorin, and they shared hushed words before Thorin shook his head and walked up the stairs towards the Master.

"I speak to the Master of the men of the lake. Will you see the prophecy fulfilled? Will you share in the great wealth of our people? What say you?"

"I say unto you…" The master smiled. "Welcome!"

The crowd around us cheered so loudly it drowned out the rest of the masters words.

They unbound us, and we all were welcomed into the local inn to party and sleep. Weird mix, I thought. Normally if you party, you aren't intending on sleeping. But who am I to judge?

We were all given ales, and within an hour Bofur had drank at least 5 of them. He was going to be wasted tomorrow.

I enjoyed being around the Dwarves, but I was growing tired, and well, starting to feel sick. Okay I lied, I was feeling more than sick.

"Are you tired?" Kili asked me.

Around us Fili and Dwalin were seeing who could drink their pint the fastest.

"Yeah." I nodded, looking down at my glass.

"Do you want me to show you to your room?" Kili asked.

"I think you need to help me to my room." I said, frowning at him.

Kili looked taken aback at first, then immensely worried.

"Can you not walk?" Kili asked quietly.

I didn't want to say the truth. I didn't want to say how much it hurt. But it was Kili, I could trust Kili.

"Not too well." I said, looking down at the table and dragging my nails on the wood.

Kili's arm snaked under mine, and I rested my arm on his shoulder as he pulled me up off of the bench, and helped me to my room.

I must say, I really wasn't much of a help in this situation. I was drunk and sick, which is pretty much the dumbest combination I had made of myself in a while. I was probably beyond severely dehydrated.

When he opened the door to the room and helped me in, I realized he was drunk too.

That, or he normally runs into walls for fun.

I snorted as he tried to push the wall away from him with his free hand, then finally went around it and through the door, and closed the door behind him.

It was nearly pitch black in the room, and him closing the door was a bad choice, because the only light we had to rely on now was from the small window.

"Where's the bed again?" I asked him as we slowly walked through the room.

"How am I supposed to know?" Kili chuckled. "It's your room."

"I saw this room for a total of five seconds before Dwalin shut the door and forced me back to the party." I said to Kili.

He let out a bark of laughter as he slowly took another few steps ahead.

"Maybe we should wait for our eyes to adjust." I suggested as I took another few steps.

At the last step my leg ran into something hard and wooden and I yelped, pushing all my weight onto Kili as I fought not to fall.

Kili was clearly taken aback by this, and instead of being any help in stopping me from falling, he instead lost his balance as well and by some miracle we both ended up falling onto the bed, Kili landing on top of me.

"Sorry." He grunted, getting off of me and laying on the other side of the bed.

It was quiet for a moment, and I knew Kili was embarrassed, and probably worried about something dumb. So I started laughing.

Slowly, he started laughing too, and slowly as we stayed laid on the bed, our eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"That was hassle and a half." I said, shifting slightly to look at Kili. "Sorry."

He smiled at me. "It's fine, Malia."

Kili brought his hand to my cheek and stared at me, gently stroking my cheek.

I grabbed onto his hand, and Kili looked into my eyes. He scooted a little closer, and brought his lips to mine.

The kiss didn't break anytime soon, and my arms went around his neck as his hand went from my cheek to my waist and he pulled me closer to him.

Being close to Kili felt, well, as dorky as it sounds; it felt right. It didn't matter what was happening outside of our little bubble. It didn't matter that technically, he shouldn't have been in my room. It just didn't matter.

All I could think about was his hand going to the small of my back, the taste of his lips against mine, the feel of his hair in my hands.

He was home.

* * *

Nothing happened that night, in case you're worried. I mean, we made out, obviously, but then we slept a foot apart, with only our hands touching each others.

Fili woke us up, making some real snarky comments in Khuzdul just as he had at Bard's house.

And once again, none of which I understood. Really nice of him.

Kili and Fili left my room quickly, leaving me to get ready to leave. I wasn't quite sure what they had expected me to do, but I had been given another dress. Once again, most likely made for a child.

I took my swim-shirt off, and the horrid elvish dress. It looked like I had mangled it five times over. I took the Rune-stone out of the pocket before discarding the dress and putting the new one on.

My once white swim-shirt was now a really weird brown/beige. I tried not to overthink that, and put it back on before leaving the room.

As I walked down to the main room of the inn where everyone was waiting, I started feeling more and more ill. If anything, I felt like a zombie. I felt like I shouldn't be taking another step forward. But I swallowed my pain and continued marching on.

We all marched out together to the boats, Thorin stopping and letting people on. I was about to get on when Thorin's hand shot out and he blocked me.

"Not you." Thorin said, shaking his head at me.

"What?" I was so confused, and tired. So tired. I wasn't even sure I had heard him right, it felt like there was cotton in my ears.

"We must travel at speed." Thorin looked me up and down, his frown growing. "You will slow us down."

Kili stepped up beside me, having been walking behind me. "What are you talking about?" He asked Thorin.

"You've got to be shitting me." I said to Thorin, watching as my vision blurred for a moment and he became two Thorins' and then one again.

"You're not coming, Malia." Thorin said firmly.

I took a step back, trying to figure out why he was doing this to me. I mean, besides the fact that I was pretty much death walking. Or, death limping. I looked away as I backed even farther from the boat, leaning against some barrels nearby.

I watched as Kili and Thorin kept speaking, and I could tell it was starting to get heated.

"I will not leave her!" Kili yelled, and man, did he look pissed.

"So be it. Then you shall stay too." Thorin said bristly, avoiding making eye contact with Kili or myself.

"I'll stay with them." Oin said as he got off of the boat. "My duties lie with the wounded."

I watched as Oin walked past Kili and Thorin and stopped in front of me. Kili gave one last look at Thorin before turning on his heel and walking towards me as well.

"Kili, you can't stay here because of me." I said to him as he stopped next to me.

"Malia, I'm staying. You deserve this as much as us." Kili said, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly.

I kept looking at Kili, trying to figure out why he would do this. I knew how much this meant to him. Then, Fili stormed up to us, placing a hand on Kili's shoulder and they nodded at each other.

"Oh for fucks sake, you too?" I asked Fili.

Oin took closer to me, putting his hand on my forehead and blocking my view. "You are as white as snow, Malia."

"Oin I swear to god," I groaned, slapping his hand away from my head.

Oin frowned, but nodded regardless and took a step away from me.

"Please." I tugged on Kili's hand as I looked from Kili to Fili. "You guys have to go."

The crowd around us began cheering, and I knew they were about to leave.

"I can't be the reason you two aren't there." I continued.

"You're not." Fili said, shaking his head and looking to where the boat was. "Thorin is."

I groaned. "He's right to leave me behind! I look like death and walking is really, really painful. And I think the arrow was poisoned." I paused. "And I might be low-key dying."

Kili grabbed my cheek, forcing me to look up at him.

"More reasons for me to stay." He said, smiling sadly at me.

I groaned, leaning my head on Kili's chest. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me even closer to him.

"The day I met you I knew everything had changed, Malia. From the moment I ran into you." Kili said, his hands trailing up and down my back soothingly as he sighed, his head nestling in my hair.

"You mean body-slammed into me so hard I lost my breath?" I asked him.

Kili chuckled, holding me tighter. "Yes."

"And then you said I talked strange." I reminded him.

Bofur pushed his way through the crowd and stopped before us, sighing.

"Ha," He looked at all of us. "So you missed the boat as well?"

I felt a sharp pang from my leg, and I heard ringing in my ears as I felt like my whole body was trying to turn off.

I grabbed onto Kili, holding him tighter as I felt my legs go weak.

"Help." I whispered, feeling myself starting to slowly fall. My vision was fading out, and I couldn't even hear the ringing anymore.

Before I could fall, Kili grabbed me and lifted me up into his arms.

Then all went dark.

* * *

I had blacked out, but when I woke up I was on a bed in Bard's house. Honestly, I had preferred being blacked out, because at least then I couldn't feel how much my body hurt.

Kili was knelt beside the bed, brushing my hair away from my face.

"Can you not do something?" Fili angrily asked Oin.

I couldn't really see anything besides Kili, but every time I closed my eyes Kili begged me to open them.

"Kee." I said to him, trying to smile at him.

"I'm here Amralime." Kili said, nodding as he stared into my eyes.

"I'm glad to be here with you, Kili." I said, closing my eyes as my headache grew. "Here at the end of all things."

The reference was lost on him.

"Malia." Kili pleaded, shaking me gently as he stroked my forehead. "Stay here." He continued.

I shivered as I opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. God, I was freezing.

"She's burning up!" Kili said.

"I need herbs, something to bring down her fever." Oin said as he grabbed a few pots of hot water and a rag.

"I have nightshade, I have feverfew." Bard said from the kitchen.

"They're no use to me. Do you have any kingsfoil?" Oin asked.

"No, it's a weed. We feed it to the pigs." Bard said.

"Pigs?" Bofur asked. "Weed. Right." Bofur came back towards me, and pointed at me. "Don't move."

I groaned. "I wasn't planning."

"Shh, it's okay." Kili said soothingly. "Malia, save your energy."

"When have you ever…" I tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't work so well. "…known me to save my energy?"

Kili looked at me sadly. "Please, Malia."


	13. Segment Twelve

The building shook, and I groaned. Why couldn't I just die and be over with it?

"Da, it's coming from the mountain." Bain said, looking frightened.

"You should leave us." Fili said as he went towards Bard. "Talk your children, get out of here."

"And go where?" Bard asked. "There is nowhere to go."

"Are we going to die, Da?" Tilda asked.

"No darling." Bard said.

"The dragon, it's going to kill us." Tilda said, ready to cry.

Bard stared at his children, then shook his head. "Not if I kill it first." He said as he yanked something off of the ceiling.

* * *

Have you ever been so sick that you've gotten a bit delusional? That's what happens when your temperature is so high that it is literally cooking your brain. Your brain is turning to mush and all you can do about it is lose your mind.

I could feel my body slowly starting to wither away, and I had known I should've been trying to say goodbye, or fighting harder. But all I could do was try to think of song lyrics. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to concentrate.

 _"In the dangling conversation,_  
 _And the superficial sighs,_  
 _The borders of our lives."_

My mind went blank as to what came next.

"Why can't I remember anything more?" I asked myself out loud.

"Malia, what's wrong?" Kili asked, and I opened my eyes as I felt him gently stroke my cheek.

"I can't remember fully any of my favorite songs." I said as I closed my eyes again. "It's as though all the songs are jumbled together."

I paused for a moment, and then began mumbling whatever lyrics came into my head.

 _"Until your breathing stops,_  
 _Until your breathing stops, stops,_  
 _Forever, forever."_

 _"They say you're getting better,_  
 _But you don't feel any better."_

The ceiling creaked and I let out a loud shiver as I suddenly felt drenched in coldness. I was sure I was sweating, but I was also so cold my teeth were near chattering.

 _"Your house that sits behind me Is covered in ivy green,_  
 _The windows that we watch from,_  
 _Are old and chipping at the beam."_

 _It takes me away,_  
 _Takes me away,_  
 _Takes me away…"_

Kili's hand left my cheek and went to my forehead. He inhaled sharply as his hand continuing feeling my forehead, then his hand disappeared.

"She's burning up." Kili said, and I forced my eyes open to see who he was talking to.

Oin sat down next to Kili beside the bed, looking at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Malia. I don't know how to bring your fever down without Kingsfoil." Oin said.

I stared from Kili to Oin, watching as they both looked at each other sadly.

There was no two ways about it, I was dying.

"I should've paid more attention to those damn movies." I whispered, looking away from them and up at the ceiling. "I should've…"

I should've told Kili how thankful I was that he had cared for me. But I didn't, and by the time I realized I should've, the pain had caused me to pass out.

* * *

Whenever I opened my eyes I saw someone else standing near me. One second it was Kili, the next it was Fili, after that it was an Orc which was a bit horrifying, and I had one burst of energy that ended with me on the floor.

Next then it was Legolas, which was shocking. Not nearly as terrifying as the Orc, but still alarming.

After him it was Crystal. Then lastly, it was Oin, who was touching my forehead, a worried look on his face.

"We are losing her!" Oin said from beside me.

"Malia, Amralime, I'm here." Kili said as he ran up to up and knelt down on the other side of me, cradling my head in his arms, brushing my hair. "Please, you must do something." I watched as Kili looked over at someone farther away.

It was safe to say I had no clue what was going on, and I didn't have the energy to ask and find out.

"Yeah, here's the thing, Legolas." Crystal said somewhere in the background. "She's my best friend. It's not going to make sense to you so I'm not going to explain it, but I'm not leaving. Bye or whatever. See you later, Alligator."

There was a slight silence, and I heard someone leave.

"Where's the freaking kingsfoil?" Crystal demanded and I heard her run out the door. By the time she ran back inside, which was only moments later, she held a plant in her hands.

"Get her up onto the table, now Kili." Crystal said as she looked around.

Kili gently put my head back down before getting up and lifting me up in his arms. I could only assume Oin and Fili had flipped the table back over. Don't ask me how the table got flipped over to begin with, because as usual; I had no clue.

Kili gently rested me down on the table, and I watched as he looked at Crystal, his eyes begging her to help.

"Girls." Crystal said as she looked at Sig and Tilda. "I need a pot." She said as she looked at Sig. Sig nodded, and walked towards the pans. "Tilda, start tearing this up into the pot."

"Hold her down," Crystal demanded and she looked at the Dwarves. "Bet yet…" Crystal paused, and walked around the table towards Kili.

"Hold her head, keep talking to her, okay?" Crystal whispered in his ear.

Kili nodded, and Crystal looked up as Tilda brought over a pot full of torn up kingsfoil.

"Crystal-" I started, trying to explain how I doubted she could save me, when she cut me off.

I mean, she wasn't even an actual Elf. I mean, technically she was, but. I mean really, how could she do it? How much knowledge could she have gotten while she was here?

"Listen to your damn boyfriend and let me save your ass, okay?" Crystal asked.

We stared at each other for a moment before she pointed for me to look at Kili instead.

Kili came closer to me, blocking my view as his hand went back to my face and he stroked my cheek.

"Malia, look at me." Kili said and he pulled my face to look at him when I tried to look at Crystal instead. "I'm here. Tell me more about your home." He begged.

I shook my head, closing my eyes. All I had wanted to do in that very moment was die, if it meant no longer being in pain. My whole body felt as though it was on fire, but at the same time, I was freezing cold.

"Malia, you are too stubborn to die. I know it. I've seen you run into trolls, the pale orc, and face an entirely new world. And you've been kind and so gentle." Kili said, his thumb brushing my cheek.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, and I felt my stomach drop as I looked at the expression on his face. He was about to cry. I hated seeing him so sad.

Crystal took the arrow out and my whole body jerked and I screamed, my whole body writhing in even more pain. Tears fell out of my eyes as my whole body was flooded with a painful tingling sensation.

"I said distract her!" Crystal yelled. "Fili, Oin, Bofur, hold her arms and legs." Crystal commanded, and I felt arms pin my legs down as my body involuntarily kept jerking.

"Jesus christ, Kili keep talking to her!"

Kili shot Crystal a worried look before looking back at me. I could tell he was at a loss for words. We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like years, both of us speechless. So many words that had been left unsaid hung in the air around us.

"Do you want to really know what Amralime means, Malia?" Kili asked, and I could see his eyes were shining.

Hell almighty, Kili was really going to cry. I had someone managed to reduce happy-go-lucky Kili into tears.

I slowly nodded, grinding my teeth as the pain came back in waves. My heartbeat was out of control, it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest at any minute.

"It means 'My Love', Malia." Kili's eyes searched mine. "You are my love. You will be the only one I have ever, and will ever call Amralime." Kili said.

I shook my head in disbelief as I searched his eyes to see if he was telling the truth.

"I'm serious, Malia." Kili said. He seemed nervous, but at the same time desperate.

Desperate for me to not die, I suppose.

I could feel myself start tearing up. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the pain. When I opened my eyes, black spots covered my vision. I blinked furiously, trying so hard to see Kili.

"Kili…" I couldn't hear myself speak.

Slowly my vision had started growing back, the black dots disappearing. I looked at Kili, and I could tell he was speaking again. But I couldn't hear him, all I could hear was the ringing in my ears.

"I can't hear you…the world, it's fading." I choked out, terrified.

It was if the lights were dimming before my eyes, but I knew they couldn't have been.

"You're so far away." I stumbled over my words, my voice dying. I looked away from Kili to the ceiling, but all I could see was darkness around us.

It was as if the world had crumbled away, leaving only Kili and I together in darkness.

Kili grabbed my cheek harder, and my eyes were brought back to his. His mouth was moving again, but still I heard no words.

But I wanted to hear his words. I needed to hear his words. I loved his voice. I loved his smile, I…

Slowly, the realization dawned on me. I had never felt this way about anyone before. I had thought I was going to see it clearly, when I fell in love. Actually, I had assumed I wasn't going to fall in love at all.

But maybe, love was someone you could laugh with. Maybe love was teamwork against giant spiders. Maybe love was all the good of being with someone, but also sacrifice. The sacrifice of not going on a boat with your uncle to Erebor.

Yes, that was what love was. I was in love with Kili.

Slowly, the ringing in my ears died down, and I was finally able to hear Kili's voice again.

"Malia, listen to me." Kili pleaded.

I felt myself about to cry. I wasn't even sure why I was going to cry. From pain, most likely. I closed my eyes as I felt a tear fall.

" _Can you imagine us, years from today, sharing a park bench quietly?"_ Kili sang.

My eyes shot open when I heard him sing. How had he remembered? We had hardly been friends when I sang that song.

 _"Time it was, and what a time it was, it was a time of innocence, a time of confidences."_

"Don't give up, Malia." Kili said. "Don't leave me." Kili paused before he whispered, "Return to me."

I closed my eyes. I was in so much pain I was crying, I could feel my body demanding to give in. But I kept fighting for my life. It wasn't fun, but I had to. I was in love with him, and I had to at least live long enough to tell him I felt the same way. He had remembered Simon and Garfunkel for me. When I had accepted that Rune-stone from him, I had been making a promise, and I don't break my promises.

"Malia?" Kili asked, and I opened my eyes again.

I smiled at him. "I…love you too…you dumbass."

An ice cold sensation spread from my leg, drenching my muscles in a cool sensation. I was still cold, but slowly it became more bearable. It was almost as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of my chest.

The only way I could describe it was magic. I was on the brink of death, but within ten minutes, I was better. Definitely not 100%, but I was at least nearing 50%.

"Malia?" Kili asked again.

"I think I'm going to be okay." I said as I let out a relieved sigh.

Kili let out a relieved sigh too, staring into my eyes. "You're going to be okay."

I wasn't sure if he was saying it for my benefit or his own, but either way; it felt nice to hear him say it.

Crystal coughed, and then finally spoke up in english. "Isn't that what you said was on that rune-stone?" Crystal asked, and Kili moved slightly so I could see Crystal better.

Crystal was still by my leg, a brow raised.

"It is, isn't it?" She looked disgusted. "You're damn lucky you're my best friend and I love you, because that," She pointed from Kili to myself. "Is too romantic for me. Too grossly romantic, too story book." She sighed and looked away. "Too much of what I want."

"Crystal." I said, and she looked at me and smiled before she frowned again.

"Holy shit." She said, her eyes growing big. "I fucking forgot." She ran to the door. "I have to kill Buldge."

She left the house, not closing the door behind her. We all looked at the door a moment.

"I reckon that means you're going to be just fine, Lady Malia." Fili said, patting my shoulder.

"Why did you go back to calling me Lady?" I asked him.

"It would seem you have captured the heart of my brother, Lady Malia." Fili smiled at me. "And I have a feeling you know nothing about what happens next, so I'll let Kili fill you in." Fili said as he winked and Kili.

"Oin, Bofur." Fili commanded, motioning for the other Dwarves to go to the other room with him.

"What does he mean by that?" I asked Kili and I turned to look at him.

Kili sighed, looking a little nervous. "Dwarves are very monogamous."

"Ah." I smiled at the ceiling. "A one and done type, huh?"

I was exhausted. Who would've guessed nearly dying could be so tiring.

Kili chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief at me. "What is that to mean, Malia?"

"Like." I paused, yawning. "You choose one person, and you're done."

"Are you a 'one and done type' then, Malia?" Kili asked me.

"I want to say, yes, if the one is you." I frowned at the ceiling. God, Crystal was right. It all was extremely sickeningly romantic. "But I also want to puke at the idea of me saying that." I closed my eyes. "Although that could be the you know, sickness talking."

"Malia, look at me." Kili said, pulling my face to look at his as I opened my eyes.

"I need you to know, that I mean it with all my heart. I want you to be mine."

"I've been yours for a while now." I snorted, smiling at him before yawning again.

He stared at me for a moment in silence.

"Do you understand what I'm asking you, Malia?" Kili asked.

"Well, you haven't asked me anything yet." I said.

Kili raised a brow at me.

"But yes, I think I do understand what you are asking. And the answer is yes." I quickly added.

Kili stared at me for a moment, his eyes searching mine.

"You would take me as your husband?" Kili sputtered, as if he couldn't believe it.

I mean really, had I given him any reason to doubt it?

"Yes, obviously." I said, shrugging, and then nodding my head. "I mean, I honestly, truly would."

Kili's smile grew into a toothy grin, and he closed the space between us and pressed his lips against mine. And I knew I had meant it.

Kili was the only person I had ever been able to enjoy the idea of living for a long time with.

* * *

 **And that's the end of DoS! A few tidbits that are pretty important I felt like I should add;**

 **They live in a society in Middle-Earth where you don't date. I'm using the information based on the Dwarrow scholar. As time goes on it'll all make much more sense, but for now, just understand that Malia understands (somewhat limitedly) that being engaged is their next step, and he means enough to her that she's okay with that.**

 **A few FAQ's from the reviews:**

 **Malia's mum is somewhere, but Malia has no clue right now. She jumped into middle earth and then met 13 Dwarves, she's been a bit preoccupied. But from the few conversations on the topic she's had with Bilbo, she's not in the shire.**

 **Dwarvish Translations to some of the things that have been said:**

 ** _Me asnân tada Mahal duhû kansu tah. :_ Dwalin says this to her when he denies that she isn't just small like Bilbo. The literal translation is _You are proof that Mahal has a sense of humour._ He's saying it because she is half-dwarf, yet she's almost a foot shorter than them.**

 ** _Durin zabukuna :_ Kili says this when Malia reminds him that she has no clue how she got to Middle-Earth, let alone how Crystal did. The literal translation is _As Durin will awake_. It's an expression for saying something is true. Kinda like someone saying 'The sky is blue.'**

 ** _Burushruka igbulul e.:_ Kili says this when he sees how hurt Malia is. The literal translation is _It pains me greatly_.**

 ** _Isrên nimgumul ik-kuk.:_ Kili says this when Malia cringes when he tries to take off the binding. The literal translation is _Dancing round the vein._ He's basically saying to himself that he just needs to do it fast, because otherwise he's just prolonging the inevitable.**

 ** _'atsu amuh gargzaharugnar haga khulum.:_ Fili says this when he's being a snarky ass. The literal translation is _You are going to make a tavern owner very rich._ The phrase itself it Fili joking to his brother, pretty much telling Kili that he's going to have to marry Malia, 'cause otherwise that sort of nonsense will have to stop.**

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!


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